cruepain Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I was with my girlfriend today when she went into a building for a quick appointment. I wasn't going to go in but decided to. Well I didn't notice she left her keys in teh car and i locked the door so she was locked out of her car as was I. She said she told me to grab them but I didn't hear her. My friend picked us up to take me to my car so I could take her to her house to get her spare keys. She was not happy. She said she was annoyed and upset and asked if i ever listen to her. She even called me stupid. She said even though I am 24 at times I act 18 and I have alot of growing up to do I apologized to her and told her it was a mistake that could have happened to anybody. i told her i know i have some growing up to do but it's not like I am immature all the time. I am serious when I need to be, I just always like goofing around and having a good time. She said she understands she was just annoyed and she knows I am working on my flaws I was upset she took it out on me but tonight she made up for it telling me she loved me and then said, "dont worry about what happened babe, stuff happens" I guess I just gotta work on some stuff
Andy_K Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Yes, your self respect for a start. Whilst it's good that you've made up, and you should probably forget the incident now, you should not stand for being called stupid and immature simply for not hearing her saying to grab the keys. If she even did. I don't think you have anything to apologise for here. Also there would have been little to gain in trying to push the blame to her. Instead you should have skipped straight to the 'it is just one of those things' conversation. 2
PegNosePete Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I apologized to her and told her it was a mistake that could have happened to anybody. i told her i know i have some growing up to do but it's not like I am immature all the time. WHAT! She blamed YOU for her mistake, and you accepted this? She left her keys in the car. They are her keys. Her responsibility. Wow. Dude grow a spine. If you don't respect yourself then how do you think she will respect you? If you let her walk all over you like this then your relationship will not last long, I can tell you. Nobody respects a doormat. And if she does not respect you then she will not see you as good long-term boyfriend material. I guess I just gotta work on some stuff Yes, like telling her to stop blaming you for HER mistakes. She might get mad but she'll respect you more for it, and the make-up sex will be awesome. Google "5h1t test".
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I agree with the other posters you have to stand up for yourself. She was driving its her responsibility to get the keys.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Her response is indicative of an anger problem. Not grabbing the key is not enough to warrant that kind of nasty response. Nastiness is not a nice look on anybody. My ex once shut us out of my bedroom, which locked behind us, leaving us unable to get back in until my landlord arrived from an hour away. In the meantime it meant being stuck in the communal areas of my house in tiny skimpy pajamas (we were supposed to be running downstairs for coffee for one minute!), desperate to pee with nowhere to go... it was generally an awkward, embarrassing and frustrating situation. But you know what? It was a mistake, so we just had a laugh for it. I didn't think anything bad of him for it. If I'd kicked off and started having a go at him and berating him I'd have lost even more respect if he hadn't have come back with a 'you know what? I said I was sorry but it was a mistake. Start talking to me with some respect or don't speak to me at all'.
Author cruepain Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 she said me not grabbing her keys was a sign that i don't listen to her when i do! i was just distracted
HokeyReligions Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 she said me not grabbing her keys was a sign that i don't listen to her when i do! i was just distracted BULL SPIT. She is accountable for her actions. When my husband and I were dating he had me on a pedestal. It was great - for me. Or so I thought. By our second wedding anniversary we were in trouble. Without recognizing it I started feeling like I married beneath me because I began looking down at him from that pedestal. We both held him accountable for all our problems. I treated him badly. That was a very big step down from the pedestal for me AND for him. He instinctively tried to catch me as I fell. But I got off the pedestal and stood and I am so much happier on solid ground. So is hubby. We celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary in June. Stop taking responsibility for her mistakes. 2
ohsooluvly Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I agree with the rest of the posters on here. She was completely out of line to get mad at you for locking HER keys in the car. Next time something like this happens, which it most likely will, you need to stand up for yourself. And if she gets mad? Well, ask yourself if you really want to be with someone like that anyhow...
Keenly Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 What a drama queen. I bet a hundred bucks she doesn't listen to everything you say, so why should she expect you to be paying 100% attention to her and only her at all times.
emva07 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I understand that she is mad, most everyone gets mad at locking their keys in the car. But at the point she started insulting you, that's not cool. You need to stand up for yourself.
TaraMaiden Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Next time, stand up to her. And if she tells you she doesn't like your attitude, tell her this.
Noproblem Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 This is just a little preview of of tiny moments of your future together As man and wife. Some girls are just angry and lose their mind over trivial matter, you have to decide if you can accept that or not. Put boundaries now, better than when it's too late
Never Again Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I understand that she is mad, most everyone gets mad at locking their keys in the car. But at the point she started insulting you, that's not cool. You need to stand up for yourself. I'd agree with this one. My stance (and others, please disagree with me if I'm wrong), would be to apologize and act humble UNTIL I was insulted or my character was called into question. If my actions hurt or piss someone off, that's one thing. I try to not belittle their feelings by laughing it off. However, those are when I'M responsible for the problem. The second they try to hold me accountable for their actions or start slinging mud, the apologies and meekness/humbleness goes away. It's okay to roll over and apologize when you're actually at fault. It is NOT okay to do so when you're being bullied, treated poorly, or made responsible for someone else's behavior.
Tayken Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 She even called me stupid. She said even though I am 24 at times I act 18 and I have alot of growing up to do @OP..... If you've read my posts on here, you will have heard me harp on about "Mutual respect". As you can see from your situation, it's lacking right now...what makes you think this is going to get any better? This is what miserable relationships are made of...bolt while you can.
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