MrTurk Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I'm done trying anymore. Totally sick and tired of women that just want to talk on the phone or text but they have no intention of ever meeting. I have no idea what is going on in the brains of single women nowadays. You would think if they weren't interested, they wouldn't keep talking to me or keep texting back-and-forth… Yet for some reason, women love to talk to me all the time… But whenever I asked them to meet their always busy or always have something going on, and none of them ever reciprocate with alternate plans or suggestions.
MissBee Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 If it makes you feel any better, I recently signed up for online dating and many men are the same. They want to text or call all day long but seem less willing to meet up and go from there.
D-Lish Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I get the same experience as a woman- they want to talk and correspond, but bail out when it comes time to meet. Makes me wonder if anyone is real.
Under The Radar Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Don't give up man! Take a break if you need to, but don't give up. Be patient. You were married for 10 years and know from first hand experience relationships are not a utopia and road to ultimate happiness. Enjoy your car racing, home improvements, and garden for now. You've met beautiful women before and it will happen again. OLD is brutal, requires thick skin, and an almost guru level of delayed gratification. Hang in there . 1
TAV Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Sign of the times? Maybe in future we'll all only have cyber relationships and only get together for real to procreate? No, not all women are like that. I was very serious about him and did not want nothing more than meet my boyfriend (who I met online) and went for it. Don't give up. Maybe a good indication is to see if the person you are talking to takes an interest in your life and remembers things you told her. As opposed to just wanting attention herself?
regine_phalange Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I'm done trying anymore. Totally sick and tired of women that just want to talk on the phone or text but they have no intention of ever meeting. I have no idea what is going on in the brains of single women nowadays. You would think if they weren't interested, they wouldn't keep talking to me or keep texting back-and-forth… Yet for some reason, women love to talk to me all the time… But whenever I asked them to meet their always busy or always have something going on, and none of them ever reciprocate with alternate plans or suggestions. That's weird, it has also happened to me (with a man) and I never understood why (as I quickly moved on).
MissBee Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I don't understand how that's supposed to make me feel better by knowing that some men do the same thing? Am I trying to date men? What does their behavior got to do with my situation? It doesn't matter if everybody experiences what I experienced… Or if nobody experiences what I experienced… Nothing changes the fact that I still have to put up with every reject out there. Well sorry for that then... What I should have said was: yes you should give up! I cosign that decision. 2
carhill Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 OP, tip: When you've truly moved on, you won't feel 'sick and tired', rather energized by whatever social interactions you participate in, whether that be with men or women. Expectations are left in the past. Good luck!
hasaquestion Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I'm done trying anymore. Totally sick and tired of women that just want to talk on the phone or text but they have no intention of ever meeting. I have no idea what is going on in the brains of single women nowadays. You would think if they weren't interested, they wouldn't keep talking to me or keep texting back-and-forth… Yet for some reason, women love to talk to me all the time… But whenever I asked them to meet their always busy or always have something going on, and none of them ever reciprocate with alternate plans or suggestions. It sounds like you approach the women you meet with two outcomes in mind: 1. Suitable for a LTR. Maintain contact and try to get to know better. 2. Not suitable for an LTR. Say something nice and go on your way. That is a very reasonable way to be. But the women who are flaked on you don't approach dating the same way. They see it more like this: 1. Swept me off my feet. Get things moving. 2. Smelled like sewage or talked about casual involvement with the KKK. Break contact completely. 3. Not crazy about him, but not scared or significantly put off by him either. Might as well keep talking. They put you where they would have put most people, in the third category. I think you would be best served by making one overture to meet up in person, and no more. If they say no then that's it, on to the next one. Anyone who plays those games is someone who it sounds like you wouldn't see eye to eye with about relationships. 1
Under The Radar Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 5 years ....................... Ok, so you were married for 5 years ...... sorry for the misunderstanding. However, it doesn't change the tone or the actual content of my post. Sure, you can quit, but I doubt you'll ultimately be happy with that decision ...... it will just be the flavor of the week. I'm close in age to you and would love to have a companion for all of the reasons you have mentioned. As Carhill stated, having no expectations is what gets you out of this vicious cycle. I've been single for a while for exactly that reason. Not pursuing women, at the moment, gives me the freedom to do what ever I want, when I want, and I'm happy. You understand what I'm saying? I'm happy by myself despite wanting a girlfriend. When the time comes, and it will, I'll re-enter the dating pool armed with diligence, patience, and an appreciation for delayed gratification. However, above and beyond all that, I'll embrace the concept of no expectations. My original advice stands ...... I hope you don't quit.
TAV Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Though my relationship started online (not through a dating site!) I do not believe in dating sites but respect the fact that these days it is the only place you are most likely to meet people once you stop going to clubs etc. If computers could really pick the perfect match for you life would be so simple. You could have every single thing in common with the other person and still not feel that connection that you need to feel. A lot of people approach dating sites like they would approach buying a new car or a new house. Tick off all the boxes and taadaa! you have your perfect man/woman. I think that is why you keep meeting the wrong women, next to just being really unlucky to run into selfish, selfabsorbed b*tches. As I said before; try to judge early on if the woman is genuinly interested in you and if she is not, move on. Don't give up, she is out there! Meanwhile feel free to rant here
Tayken Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 THATS the biggest problem. There is no way to determine if a woman is interested or not. MANY women purposely hold back any signs or hints that they like a guy. Because they usually want to read his feelings and intentions before they involve their own. On the flip side....I've had a handful of women that tell me straight up..."You are so easy to talk to" or "I really enjoy talking to you" and when I try to set up a date then they disappear. BOLD 1: Yes there is..body language and their engagement BOLD 2: That should be your clue....if they wanted more than that, they won't be saying that.....instead the signs will be of a flirtatious type i.e. touching, smiling and jokes...which means they want you inside soonest. Note..the feeling might not be mutual, and that becomes your call on how you wish to proceed. In the last 2 months, I have got to 3rd base on more that 5 different dates. It all caught me off guard, but I rose to the occasion
TAV Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 In Tayken's defense; you can tell her something personal and then in a follow up call check if she remembers. If she is genuinely interested in you she will remember. Also the amount of questions she asks you is a sign. I hope the 'you are so easy to talk to' does not mean you do all the listening and agree with everything she says. How do you pose the question for a meeting? Do you suggest it after she asks you questions about how tall you are etc. or do you just blurt it out in the middle of a random convo?
TB Rhine Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 A lot of this sounds like the same kinda stuff that's been going on at least since I was 18 or 19 - so, the late 90's or so. I would think that the rise of social media and cellphones would have at least weeded out the chicks who keep you on the phone endlessly, then stand you up when it comes time to meet in person - does *anybody* really talk on the phone that much anymore? - but I guess maybe it hasn't. What I remember being told back in the day (by both men and women), is that women like attention, and they like talking on the phone. So the fact that a woman will spend an hour or two on the phone with you doesn't necessarily mean much. As far as texting, I've found that if a girl's not interested, she either won't reply or will be very scattershot about replying, so I'm not sure what to say about that. With social media, it's a double-edged sword - blocking or defriending people often turns into an awkward situation later on, if you know those people in real life, so many peeps are more reluctant to do that (hence them seeming to tolerate you and continue interacting, while not apparently being interested in a real-life relationship). On sites like OkCupid, which are still more focused are meeting people online, I've found most chicks will either not reply in the first place, unceremoniously stop replying, or block you.
ponchsox Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I find the same thing. I'm 37 and never been married, but I'm planning on a life alone. Internet dating has made it easy for people to hook up without any strings or relationship commitment.
ponchsox Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I'm done trying anymore. Totally sick and tired of women that just want to talk on the phone or text but they have no intention of ever meeting. I have no idea what is going on in the brains of single women nowadays. You would think if they weren't interested, they wouldn't keep talking to me or keep texting back-and-forth… Yet for some reason, women love to talk to me all the time… But whenever I asked them to meet their always busy or always have something going on, and none of them ever reciprocate with alternate plans or suggestions. Are you talking about online dating? If so, there in lies the problem. You are dumpster diving. 1
TAV Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I'm not one for games. And telling her something on purpose, just for the fact of double checking during the next time we talk is not my style. I wouldnt even know how to go about something like that. Why would she be asking me how tall I am? I will always try to set up plans to meet during the first phone call, usually after talking to her for about an hour. I feel 1 hour of conversation is enough time to gauge the vibe between us. I definitely am not one of those guys that just agrees with everything, thinking it will get my foot in the door. I am not one bit afraid of my opinions and beliefs scaring her away. I firmly believe a good-hearted fun debate between two people can show a lot as far as compatibility goes. I'm hardly a manipulator myself; I just think that if people are interested in you they remember little things you told them about yourself. That is also how I separate my friends from my acquaintances. It's not a 'game', it's common sense. With the 'how tall are you' example I meant that she is wondering what you are like in real life and therefore opening the door for you to set up a date. If you just chitchat for an hour and she is too polite to hang up on you it does not mean that she wants to meet you. And if I hear the remarks here about dating online or in reality, it all sounds pretty sad the way people treat each other. I have to agree with you there. 1
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