hellischrome Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 A few of you may remember my story - relationship started when we were both with other people, 13 months ago, we made each other go through hell but we are still together. The issue this time is that he is flirty, and I hate that. Today on FB I found a pic of him in an extremely provocative pose with a girl, like he is about to lick her decollete. This picture has been taken when we did not know each other (he was with someone else), but that's not the point. I am afraid this is what he is and how he seeks approval from women, and it's something I hate. He cheated on his ex with 4 different people, since I know him he has always been soooo flirty with girls but he won't admit it. Three weeks ago at the beach my friend says -If I werent here with people I know I would take off the bra of my bikini...- and he replies -if you want an approval to do it, you have it!-. Two weeks ago my girlfriend (the same one) comes to me and gives me a rasperry on my neck, he says -I don't get one?- and she does it on him WITH ME STANDING THERE. He has always been like this, he always says there's nothing bad and he would never stay with me being interested in someone else. Today's picture kinda opened my eyes. I sent it to him, saying -Is this how you say you are NOT flirty?- (everytime I say he is flirty, he gets angry). He replies saying ahahah that's a friend of a friend, it's taken a couple of years ago, of course we were joking. He was in a relationship then. Is that how he behaves when I am not around? Please, guys, girls, opinion. I am 26, we've been dating for more than a year. I am not sure he's the kind of person I want.
mammasita Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Without reading any of your other posts, my opinion is this: You knew what you were getting into dealing with him. He cheated not once, not twice.....but FOUR times. No morals, no respect for his partner.....absolutely nothing. If I were your friend I'd think you were a complete idiot. 5
suladas Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 To put it simply, he's a pig. Why would you want anything to do with someone like that? That behaviour is not acceptable for someone in a relationship.
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 There is nothing completely wrong or improper about his behavior IMO but then again, I'm a big flirt. However, he is not the guy YOU want. You don't care for his flirting & he's not about to change. You can't force the change, although you might be successful in getting him to tone it down . . . licking people is a bit much. So either you find a way to accept him for who he is . . . flirty-ness & all or you move on. Sticking around & complaining will only make everyone miserable. 1
Tayken Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 To put it simply, he's a pig. Why would you want anything to do with someone like that? That behaviour is not acceptable for someone in a relationship. I concur.....that goes by to my harping on about mutual respect
Salvatore85 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 So he slept with you while you were both in relationships and you're worried about him cheating on you? Dead serious? 1
xxmusical Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I am not sure he's the kind of person I want. Definitely not. He's cheated four times before. Who's to say he won't cheat on you? He's not willing to change for you, knowing fairly well you're not comfortable with him being so flirty. Good luck.
Author hellischrome Posted February 25, 2014 Author Posted February 25, 2014 Sorry guys, sometimes I just forget I post here and don't check replies. Thanks to you all, first of all. I talked to a few friends, apparently I am the one who sees the bad stuff in what he does, and according to one of my closest friends my standards are too high and people will always disappoint me - especially who is my current partner. Friends keep telling me I take things too seriously - and about the cheating thing of course is a giant red flag, but I have the same history - cheated on my ex with more than one person, included my current partner who then became, indeed, my current partner. If it's true that once a cheater always a cheater then I am afraid I'm no material for marriage too, eheh, I still believe that sometimes it's possible to change and I was wondering if this is the case. At social events I see him trying, I do, but sometimes is not just enough.
blueskyday Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 All that matters is who you want to be now. It doesn't matter that you cheated. Sounds like you have learned from that and want a committed and faithful relationship. You know that flirting is dangerous to a relationship. You understand the road to cheating and don't want to go one foot down it. Now you need a partner who is equally faithful and committed. That's growth! I just don't think he is compatible with you and your values. If he is a reformed cheater, then one would think he would be extra careful himself not to flirt or do anything that could look or lead to something shady. He should care about your need for security in the relationship. I couldn't be involved with a flirty guy, one who looked at other women, or one who had a continuing all consuming friendship with a girl BFF! I think you are seeing red flags with this guy. Don't blame it on your high standards. You should have them! Really, post a pic of an ex boyfriend nuzzling your cleavage . See how he freaks out! It's wrong, unless f course you are single. Even then, it's crass. I agree with you . 2
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