dp Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 I'm looking for some insight into this, I guess. My boyfriend and I had a 5 day separation and now he is back and wants to try to work things out. We are going to counseling on Tues. This is a letter that he wrote to me today and I am wondering if anyone feel like there is hope for a return to happiness for us. We both love each other very much. Looking for some successful counseling stories also. Thanks. Here's the letter below: If I had one wish, it would be to go back 5 months ago and talk about stuff bothering me, but you know me, I can't talk about that stuff. I really need to work on that in my life. I know I talk an aweful lot about the letter you wrote me and you asked why I can't get over it, we apologized and we should move on. I have moved on from that letter, but what it left behind is what is still there. It made something click in my head and made me feel differently. I don't know how to explain it. I am willing to try and conquer this feeling because our 4 years deserves a second chance. I appreciate you trying to change and do the things that I complained about you not doing and I will try and do the same. I cant wait to go to the counselor because I think it will help me/us a great deal. I hope that one day we can be back to normal and that our love for each other will take away that empty feeling I have. I am sorry that it is there, but you have to understand why I have it. I promise you that I will give this therapy my all and not quit like your ex-husband did. No matter what happens, I will always love you and be there for you. I don't know if you can believe that, but I'm telling the truth. You hold a special place in my heart and always will. Please live one day at a time and never question my love for you or if I'm mad at you. Some way this will all work its self out. I love you and will see you in the morning. Be careful coming home and yes we can have a date over the next couple days. <<<TO OUR LIFE, MAY ALL THE PROBLEMS BE WORKED OUT AND OUR LOVE EMERGE>>>> I Love You. I'm concerned about the feeling empty part that he mentioned. Any comments?
Devildog Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Without knowing the contents of the letter you wrote to him that he mentions which put these thoughts in his head it is hard to diagnose what the empty feeling comment means. Counselling is only effective if you give it an honest try. You both have to want to go, and be prepared for your ego to be shattered a bit. It is never one person's fault when a relationship deteriorates. So even though you may have seen his weaknesses in the relationship, be prepared to hear about areas you need improvement in as well. Most of the people that I know who went to counselling with an open mind and a desire to fix things have never regretted it.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by dp I'm concerned about the feeling empty part that he mentioned. Any comments? I have to commend his honesty and willingness to try. The emptiness can be anything from personal dissatisfaction with his life (outside of you and what you represent to him), to confusion over changing feelings for you, or anything in between. Its good that he is willing to work it out with you.
Author dp Posted January 20, 2005 Author Posted January 20, 2005 The contents of the letter that I wrote to him were basically things that have been bothering me for some time and he also wrote me a letter and said what was bothering him. It just kind of escalated because I responded to his comments and then he responded to mine and so on. I think that he is basically feeling like I wrote him a letter telling him how much he sucks and he thinks that I think that he is a piece of trash and he doesn't know why I keep him around. That is totally not true but, it all get started because I said that he is never available to do anything for me and he got snippy with me. That's what caused the letter writing. I have apologized and admitted where I have made mistakes in our relationship. He on the other hand has a hard time understanding my feelings about certain things and he never talks about his issues. That is something that he wants to work on. I guess since he came back it's a good sign and he is committed to really trying to work on our problems. I just hope that he sticks with it. I think that the empty feeling comes from a fear. He may fear rejection from me, or he may fear that he isn't appreciated or wanted by me. I'm just guessing that because he said that I gave him a letter telling him that he sucks. Let me know if this helps to clarify things just a little. I know that it's hard not knowing our situation but, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I think that we can work things out since we both want to go and because he has admitted how he feels, somewhat. I also don't want to get my hopes up though. Thanks for commenting.
Stone Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 I am in counceling with my partner now and it is working out wonderful... but we are both stubborn and not willing to give up. Counceling works IF BOTH parties work on the relationship
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