firefly2613 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 ..feeling much better, but still not the best. I don't check on her anymore. But, wait, I did check on one thing last night - one little, terrible slip - but fortunately for me she had not updated any of the info on the page. It won't happen again. I know why I was tempted though. I ran into her Tuesday, in between my classes. We locked eyes and didn't look away from each other. I waited a bit for her to walk ahead and then I left the building and crossed the street to the store, where she proceeded to stand outside the store window and stare at me as I continually glanced at her. Why was I glancing? I wanted to know who exactly I was looking at. I thought it could have been her twin, cause this girl looked completely different - bleach blonde with pigtails and wearing a boggin, as opposed to long, curly, brunette hair. Weirded me out, for sure. I wish she would have just kept walking. That's what I figure most people do, right? At most they wave, but they usually keep to their own business and keep moving. It's been five months since she left me for another guy, and like three months since she married him. I'm the guy that came her awhile back talking about how my ex got married at 18 after 3-4 months of knowing somebody, i.e "her soulmate". I have been staying away from places that I could potentially see her and now I'm stuck with seeing her in the one place I thought she would never come. I'm feeling better because I'm getting counseling and living my own life now, better than I ever did, but when can I expect to not be affected by stuff like this anymore? I wish she would just stay away from me. I mean, she's married now. You've got no reason to stop and stare at me for a full minute. Get out of my life already, grrrrr.
ithappenedagain Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I once dated a girl for almost 5 years. When she broke up with me everything screamed "there is someone else"... Sure enough... She started seeing this guy (and probably was with him DURING our relationship) and she eventually married him... She married him no less than 7 months after we broke up... It hurt a lot, but because I was already 7 months along with my progress, it didnt hurt ''that bad''... I eventually met another girl, and immediately got over my ex... So long story short... You will be fine.. Someone will come into your life and you will COMPLETELY be healed from your ex...... I just hope the person who helped you get over your ex doesnt break your heart though... That is why I am on this site
Colton Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 ..feeling much better, but still not the best. I don't check on her anymore. But, wait, I did check on one thing last night - one little, terrible slip - but fortunately for me she had not updated any of the info on the page. It won't happen again. I know why I was tempted though. I ran into her Tuesday, in between my classes. We locked eyes and didn't look away from each other. I waited a bit for her to walk ahead and then I left the building and crossed the street to the store, where she proceeded to stand outside the store window and stare at me as I continually glanced at her. Why was I glancing? I wanted to know who exactly I was looking at. I thought it could have been her twin, cause this girl looked completely different - bleach blonde with pigtails and wearing a boggin, as opposed to long, curly, brunette hair. Weirded me out, for sure. I wish she would have just kept walking. That's what I figure most people do, right? At most they wave, but they usually keep to their own business and keep moving. It's been five months since she left me for another guy, and like three months since she married him. I'm the guy that came her awhile back talking about how my ex got married at 18 after 3-4 months of knowing somebody, i.e "her soulmate". I have been staying away from places that I could potentially see her and now I'm stuck with seeing her in the one place I thought she would never come. I'm feeling better because I'm getting counseling and living my own life now, better than I ever did, but when can I expect to not be affected by stuff like this anymore? I wish she would just stay away from me. I mean, she's married now. You've got no reason to stop and stare at me for a full minute. Get out of my life already, grrrrr. I'm going to tell you something that you already know, but I'm going to tell you anyway. She married a guy three months after you two broke up. She is not worth your time, energy, or thoughts. Moving on isn't as easy as just flipping a switch and then you're ok. Hell I've been broken up with my ex for a year now and my best guess is I'm like 60%-ish over her, but s*** I have to suck it up because thats life and she's not coming back. But I'll be damned if your ex isn't a total you know what if she was willing to marry someone three months after your split. F her, think about yourself. 1
picnicinthepark Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I once dated a girl for almost 5 years. When she broke up with me everything screamed "there is someone else"... Sure enough... She started seeing this guy (and probably was with him DURING our relationship) and she eventually married him... She married him no less than 7 months after we broke up... It hurt a lot, but because I was already 7 months along with my progress, it didnt hurt ''that bad''... I eventually met another girl, and immediately got over my ex... So long story short... You will be fine.. Someone will come into your life and you will COMPLETELY be healed from your ex...... I just hope the person who helped you get over your ex doesnt break your heart though... That is why I am on this site ithappenedagain I had no idea that this happened to you. I'm so sorry! My mind also wanders and wonders if my ex met someone on her vacation since she broke up with me after she returned. These thoughts are better left unanswered. My world would fall apart if my ex found someone so soon and married. I suppose everything happens for a reason... OP you will find someone who will take your breath away and all of these setbacks you have experienced will only make your future relationships stronger. There is no doubt in my mind that you will get through this! Hang in there! 1
Author firefly2613 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 I'm going to tell you something that you already know, but I'm going to tell you anyway. She married a guy three months after you two broke up. She is not worth your time, energy, or thoughts. Moving on isn't as easy as just flipping a switch and then you're ok. Hell I've been broken up with my ex for a year now and my best guess is I'm like 60%-ish over her, but s*** I have to suck it up because thats life and she's not coming back. But I'll be damned if your ex isn't a total you know what if she was willing to marry someone three months after your split. F her, think about yourself. Yeah, that's all very true. Great words, thanks. I just wish she would leave me alone. This is a small town - I have avoided places that she frequents, would be nice if she did the same. Or, you know, just kept walking.
Colton Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Yeah, that's all very true. Great words, thanks. I just wish she would leave me alone. This is a small town - I have avoided places that she frequents, would be nice if she did the same. Or, you know, just kept walking. Yeah sounds like that would be ideal but you live in a small town, you're bound to run into each other every now and then. When you see her it's ok to be cordial, but that doesn't mean you have to be friends and chat it up with her. If she's trying to bump into you thats on her, go about your own business. One month ago I just got fed up with my old city reminding me of my ex, so I just packed up and moved and its been helping a good amount. Such a drastic change may not be for you, but maybe you need a little change in your life if it still bugs you so much to see her
Author firefly2613 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 Yeah sounds like that would be ideal but you live in a small town, you're bound to run into each other every now and then. When you see her it's ok to be cordial, but that doesn't mean you have to be friends and chat it up with her. If she's trying to bump into you thats on her, go about your own business. One month ago I just got fed up with my old city reminding me of my ex, so I just packed up and moved and its been helping a good amount. Such a drastic change may not be for you, but maybe you need a little change in your life if it still bugs you so much to see her The thought of packing everything up and starting new somewhere else makes me drool, but unfortunately some circumstances prevent me from doing that. I'd be fine with cordial. I'm just not fine with her standing a few feet away from me and staring at me for over a minute, like she's TRYING to get to me. I would prefer if we could wave, smile, and keep walking.
Colton Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 The thought of packing everything up and starting new somewhere else makes me drool, but unfortunately some circumstances prevent me from doing that. I'd be fine with cordial. I'm just not fine with her standing a few feet away from me and staring at me for over a minute, like she's TRYING to get to me. I would prefer if we could wave, smile, and keep walking. Well just because you're cordial doesn't mean she is going to reciprocate. And what you just said "its like shes trying to get to me". It all on her man. She may or may not be trying to get to you, but it really comes down to only you if it does or not. You say you would prefer if you could just wave, smile, and keep walking. Do that then.
Author firefly2613 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 It's been six months. I have been no contact for five, aside from a few occasional social media slips. I have deleted my Facebook, deleted my Twitter, deleted my Instagram. I've rallied around friends. I've gotten counseling. I've lost weight. I've put back some money. I've done it all by the book. Yet sometimes it feels like it happened an hour ago. The last four days have been especially horrible and it doesn't seem to be passing by. I feel a great urge to check on her, but I haven't done that in, oh, three or four months. I feel sad and angry and I have those moments when I lose myself in my head. I understand that being lied to and left for someone else is a traumatic experience, and dealing with her marrying in December was a great shock, but it has been six months. How can this still be a problem? I was doing so great for awhile. Now I find myself seeing her or her now-husband everywhere I go. This just does not make any sense.
Mr Scorpio Posted March 11, 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 How can it still be a problem? Because you've only been recovering for six-months. Six-months is not that long, depending on the length of the relationship. It makes perfect sense to me. There are those who suffer much longer than six-months. So the question becomes "what more can I do?". There are no easy answers to that. More time will help. Stopping yourself from becoming lost in your own head will help. When your thoughts turn to her, turn them to something else. Sports, movies, music, politics, history, recipes. Something else.
Recommended Posts