Justwondering33 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I've been involved in a 6year on & off again affair. I've been married going on 15 & when I met OM he had a gf but not yet married. I met him at a time where I thought my marriage was over & I did fall in love with him. At one point I was about to a separation & he broke up with his gf (he didn't tell me at the time) he went from not really contacting me (we had only been intimate twice in a year at this time) to non stop. I got upset from all the pressure from dealing with my marriage/him , freaked out & broke it off. He asked his gf to marry him several weeks later. Never thought I'd see him again but we ended up running into each other & doing it again, which after he freaked out & kicked me out of his house. Once again, thought it was over. He got married & several months later we crossed paths again & started to talk. 3 years we'd meet up but never really touched, my marriage became stronger & I became pregnant. He asked me what made me want another child & tried kissing me while pregnant. After I had my son his wife became pregnant & once again he wanted to start meeting up & this wanting to be intimate. This all happened in between fighting back & forth & h telling me if he just wanted sex then why wouldn't he try in 3 years & deal with all this emotional stuff. I love him & I've always told him that but I truly did try to break it off & when I did & we'd see each other, he's follow me (he's a police officer in the town where all the malls & shopping are) until I just break. Fast forward to 4 weeks ago, I met with him & we started kissing but my husband texted me to get home, so I had to go. He proceeded to unzip his pants & pull it out but I said I couldn't I have to go. He went in his car & started to masterbate while starring at my face & asked me please don't go but I had to so I drove away. Now he won't talk to me & I don't understand why? After 6 years i don't want it to end like this, I don't feel I did anything to him. He's had to go & I've understood. Is he embarrassed ? Is he mad at me? I don't understand! Can any men help me out?!??
Grumpybutfun Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 You are only relevant when you do things sexually with him. You are a piece of ass of him. That's it. G 8
Author Justwondering33 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 I figured, I'm so angry with him & myself. I just want to tell him off! I don't think I've ever been so angry with anyone. 1
Realist3 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 You got a real winner on your hands there. You are being used. Run like the wind. 5
Author Justwondering33 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 I've been lost in this for so long, I need to hear the truth. Thank you 2
herself Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Control freak. He was embarrased & how dare you deny him. You couldnt be used or swayed so hes punishing you. I say run too, but you may HAVE to confess, sounds like he may become malicious & stalk & turn crazy when you REALLY cut him off. It is a mess, I feel for you. And if it gets dangerous ever...who you gonna call? The police? Please be careful of this one. I would MOVE. 3
Realist3 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I've been lost in this for so long, I need to hear the truth. Thank you Your post alost made me throw up on my screen of how you are being treated. 2
littlemermaid Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Your post alost made me throw up on my screen of how you are being treated. seriously, me too. I've seen/heard a lot but this guy may take the cake. 1
Miss.Misunderstood Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 You've been used and unfortunately, you hurt everyone to-in the end- just to hurt yourself. I was the other women for 2 year, and on January first of 2013 I said "Im done. You leave her today, or ill leave you." He left her that night and divorced her the next week. Although I got what I wanted (and we are still happily together and have been talking a lot about marriage) I still feel like in the making of my own happiness I had to take others down the road of hurt with me. I don't regret anything, because it turns out, she cheated on him more then once and put him in debt and she isnow with the man of her dream, as am I! But, my best advice is to go home, cry a little-maybe even lot- but tell your husband everything. Cause at the end of the day- that's the man that has been with you from day one- the man that you have been hiding yourself from for years. And no matter how much you loved the affair, that guy never and I repeat- NEVER loved you. A MAN stands behind A WOMEN. And a WOMEN stands PROUD of her MAN. I think lust sometimes clouds the eyes of reality and therefore clouding the vision of love. I wish you the best of luck. Delete the OM number and don't look back- and if one day you do- then only remember all the hurt and tears that her brought to you and your family. Miss. Misunderstood 1
Author Justwondering33 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 Control freak. He was embarrased & how dare you deny him. You couldnt be used or swayed so hes punishing you. I say run too, but you may HAVE to confess, sounds like he may become malicious & stalk & turn crazy when you REALLY cut him off. It is a mess, I feel for you. And if it gets dangerous ever...who you gonna call? The police? Please be careful of this one. I would MOVE. You're right, he is a control freak & would say things like, someone needs to tell you what to do. I know reading this , I sound so stupid. I've never been one to have a guy control me. When I would cut him off, he would do things like wait outside a store of he saw my car, drive behind me if I ignored him. When I'm with him I've never felt scared but I did often feel like some of his behaviors were odd. When we were together, he never acted that way. Even we didn't have sex, we spent way more time together not having sex then we did. That's what was always strange to me. In six years I can't count how many times we hung out for hours where he wouldn't try anything. We did about 8-10 times in 6 years. Sorry if I'm babbling, I'm just a little lost.
Author Justwondering33 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 (edited) You've been used and unfortunately, you hurt everyone to-in the end- just to hurt yourself. I was the other women for 2 year, and on January first of 2013 I said "Im done. You leave her today, or ill leave you." He left her that night and divorced her the next week. Although I got what I wanted (and we are still happily together and have been talking a lot about marriage) I still feel like in the making of my own happiness I had to take others down the road of hurt with me. I don't regret anything, because it turns out, she cheated on him more then once and put him in debt and she isnow with the man of her dream, as am I! But, my best advice is to go home, cry a little-maybe even lot- but tell your husband everything. Cause at the end of the day- that's the man that has been with you from day one- the man that you have been hiding yourself from for years. And no matter how much you loved the affair, that guy never and I repeat- NEVER loved you. A MAN stands behind A WOMEN. And a WOMEN stands PROUD of her MAN. I think lust sometimes clouds the eyes of reality and therefore clouding the vision of love. I wish you the best of luck. Delete the OM number and don't look back- and if one day you do- then only remember all the hurt and tears that her brought to you and your family. Miss. Misunderstood I agree I was used but I never brought up him leaving her either. I've been with my husband since I was a teenager & I was a teenage bride, so when I thought my marriage was over & I met him it was something so different but I've been confused to about breaking up my family, I've been a stay at home mom for 15 years & am scared to death of not only what it would to my kids but them not having the quality of life they have being in the same home as their father. I come from a family of no divorce & when my husband & I did separate for a couple of months (when I got pregnant with baby number2 on a drunken night with my husband) my family turned on me & told me I must fix it. I wanted to say that to him so badly but was terrified to. I'm not proud of that but I am being honest . Edited February 20, 2014 by Justwondering33
experiencethedevine Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 The man is simply vile....................................
blue963 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 He has huge issues! If you spent more time with him you would probably be amazed at the disfunction. 1
goodyblue Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 So... a POLICE OFFICER sat in his CAR in PUBLIC, MASTURBATING? Uh... how many laws did he break? Sweet baby Jesus! RUN from him! I am not kidding. That is the creepiest thing I have EVER heard. Please, don't let him do this to you. I worry for you. Some people in positions of power are under the impression that they can do what they want, when they want and have no repercussions. He could really do a number in your life. For yourself, your family, you need to walk. Good luck and hang in there! 1
LilGirlandOW Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I feel for you OP, you know you need to detach and move forward without him, even with the feelings of "why is he rejecting me". Keep a careful eye, possessive people sometimes are like tsunamis.... like how a tsunami pull the tide out then comes racing forward with a catastrophic wall of water you cant outrun. Your AP could be withdrawing only to surprise you with some crazy "you belong to me" *****. I'm afraid for your well-being here... you need to go NC with your AP and somehow make it known to somebody what is going on in the event he acts out in violence towards you. That's my take on it & ((hugs))
janedoe67 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 You did not do something wrong to him...you ARE doing something wrong WITH him. And he seems pretty selfish. Maybe this is a chance to end it for good and come clean to your hubby and work on your marriage. It could be a blessing in disguise. 1
waterwoman Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 What a prize! That last paragraph proves he must be a diamond of a man.... Of course you didn't do anything wrong. To him.
Author Justwondering33 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 I feel for you OP, you know you need to detach and move forward without him, even with the feelings of "why is he rejecting me". Keep a careful eye, possessive people sometimes are like tsunamis.... like how a tsunami pull the tide out then comes racing forward with a catastrophic wall of water you cant outrun. Your AP could be withdrawing only to surprise you with some crazy "you belong to me" *****. I'm afraid for your well-being here... you need to go NC with your AP and somehow make it known to somebody what is going on in the event he acts out in violence towards you. That's my take on it & ((hugs)) You're right about the he'll come back, he always does. Every time I ignore him he comes rerunning at me, he literally chased me going 60 calling me non stop. Sometimes I think it's just more of a game. I've gone NC , sent him my finales Thoughts yesterday & then blocked him from everything including my phone. I'm hoping it works 3
Author Justwondering33 Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 You did not do something wrong to him...you ARE doing something wrong WITH him. And he seems pretty selfish. Maybe this is a chance to end it for good and come clean to your hubby and work on your marriage. It could be a blessing in disguise. I can't tell my husband. He's not a very forgiving type & emotionally I can't go through what I did with him while we were separated. I am working on it with him but to hear 6 years, he'd never forgive me. To be honest I don't think he'd want to know.
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