Author mike9876 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Why? Just leave the poor girl alone. You've gotten what you want so stop being so selfish and let her move on. Because I still like her. I miss hanging out with her. I was sad that getting back with my ex was going to mean I can't see the new girl anymore
Zahara Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Because I still like her. I miss hanging out with her. I was sad that getting back with my ex was going to mean I can't see the new girl anymore When you decided to give your ex a second chance, you forfeited any benefits you were getting from the other girl. You forfeited being a part of that girl's life. What aren't you grasping? You're being selfish and worst of all, in the back of your mind, you want to hold on to her as someone you can fall back on incase this thing with your ex doesn't work out. You're a dumpee's worst nightmare. The one that feeds the dumpee little bit of crumbs because he's just not sure if he should shytt or get off the pot. You remind me of a guy who did the same thing to me. It's asswhole behavior. I don't want to be with you but I still like you so let me have my little fix with you while I play boyfriend to some other woman. 7
Author mike9876 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 When you decided to give your ex a second chance, you forfeited any benefits you were getting from the other girl. You forfeited being a part of that girl's life. What aren't you grasping? You're being selfish and worst of all, in the back of your mind, you want to hold on to her as someone you can fall back on incase this thing with your ex doesn't work out. You're a dumpee's worst nightmare. The one that feeds the dumpee little bit of crumbs because he's just not sure if he should shytt or get off the pot. You remind me of a guy who did the same thing to me. It's asswhole behavior. I don't want to be with you but I still like you so let me have my little fix with you while I play boyfriend to some other woman. I'm back with the ex but I'm starting to think that was a mistake. I feel I missed her due to familiarity. My ex is already getting annoyed I can't spend as much time with her due to work. It's so quickly going back to crap
Zahara Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I'm back with the ex but I'm starting to think that was a mistake. I feel I missed her due to familiarity. My ex is already getting annoyed I can't spend as much time with her due to work. It's so quickly going back to crap This is what happens when you drag someone into your life before you've resolved the issues from your past. You both didn't realize that the work schedule hadn't change and it was still going to be a point of contention if you got back together?
Author mike9876 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 This is what happens when you drag someone into your life before you've resolved the issues from your past. You both didn't realize that the work schedule hadn't change and it was still going to be a point of contention if you got back together? She told me she was going to accept it this time. She told me she can't stand my depression either. The new girl (a nurse) was super sensitive and supportive of helping me. I'm an idiot,
MidwestUSA Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 She told me she was going to accept it this time. She told me she can't stand my depression either. The new girl (a nurse) was super sensitive and supportive of helping me. I'm an idiot, Even a nurse will tire of it after a time. You'd have been on a high for a bit with a new relationship. That support will wear thin quickly. Stop thinking about the 'new girl'. 3
Author mike9876 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Even a nurse will tire of it after a time. You'd have been on a high for a bit with a new relationship. That support will wear thin quickly. Stop thinking about the 'new girl'. I can't. I've known the new girl 5 years. I always had a small crush on her but she had a bf for 4 years until last year. Plus I was involved elsewhere. Found out she had a crush on me so it's hard to let go
serial muse Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 She told me she was going to accept it this time. She told me she can't stand my depression either. The new girl (a nurse) was super sensitive and supportive of helping me. I'm an idiot, Wait, you said before that you told her you took responsibility for not seeing her enough? I'm not sure what sort of understanding you came to with the first ex, but what it sounds like is that you made a promise to her initially and then backed away from it when you began doubting your decision to go back to her and thinking about whether you'd rather stay with the new girl after all. Dude, that is just crappy. In effect, you were leading both of them on. I don't know, and can't possibly say, which of these girls would have been the better match for you. But I can say, based on what you've written here, that you are not really in a position to choose either of them. It seems that, possibly with the added complication of your depression, you really just don't want to be alone. But jumping from person to person is selfish, user behavior. Perhaps the first girl was doing this too, but that doesn't make it OK for you to do it. This is a maturity thing. I honestly think you should take time for yourself to figure out how to rely on you. And don't string the new girl on anymore. You can't be friends, because she already told you she's waiting to take you back. That by definition means that you are NOT friends. Exes can be friends, sure - but only when a relationship is off the table. And you're both holding the door open.
MidwestUSA Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I can't. I've known the new girl 5 years. I always had a small crush on her but she had a bf for 4 years until last year. Plus I was involved elsewhere. Found out she had a crush on me so it's hard to let go You already let her go! Whatever it was the right decision or not, you dumped her to get back together with an ex. I doubt that she still crushing after what you did.
Author mike9876 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 Wait, you said before that you told her you took responsibility for not seeing her enough? I'm not sure what sort of understanding you came to with the first ex, but what it sounds like is that you made a promise to her initially and then backed away from it when you began doubting your decision to go back to her and thinking about whether you'd rather stay with the new girl after all. Dude, that is just crappy. In effect, you were leading both of them on. I don't know, and can't possibly say, which of these girls would have been the better match for you. But I can say, based on what you've written here, that you are not really in a position to choose either of them. It seems that, possibly with the added complication of your depression, you really just don't want to be alone. But jumping from person to person is selfish, user behavior. Perhaps the first girl was doing this too, but that doesn't make it OK for you to do it. This is a maturity thing. I honestly think you should take time for yourself to figure out how to rely on you. And don't string the new girl on anymore. You can't be friends, because she already told you she's waiting to take you back. That by definition means that you are NOT friends. Exes can be friends, sure - but only when a relationship is off the table. And you're both holding the door open. I told the ex that she'd have to accept my work schedule this time and she isn't. I spend 4 days a week with her. However I have a crappy work schedule so I cannot see her everyday. I kept all my promises to my ex. She didn't keep hers
Author mike9876 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 You already let her go! Whatever it was the right decision or not, you dumped her to get back together with an ex. I doubt that she still crushing after what you did. New girl told me just 2 days ago that she still has feelings for me
Zahara Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 She told me she was going to accept it this time. She told me she can't stand my depression either. The new girl (a nurse) was super sensitive and supportive of helping me. I'm an idiot, The nurse is super sensitive and supportive because this is new. It's called the honeymoon stage. You both see stars in each other's eyes. Once familiarity and monotony sets in, your issues will begin to drain and grate on her as well. In that sense, what have you been doing with regards to your depression?
Author mike9876 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 The nurse is super sensitive and supportive because this is new. It's called the honeymoon stage. You both see stars in each other's eyes. Once familiarity and monotony sets in, your issues will begin to drain and grate on her as well. In that sense, what have you been doing with regards to your depression? I'm sure she would have gotten fed up. She tried giving me ideas to help me but I turned them all down. I haven't done anything. I hate my job. Been there 4 years but no motivation to look elsewhere
Zahara Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 I'm sure she would have gotten fed up. She tried giving me ideas to help me but I turned them all down. I haven't done anything. I hate my job. Been there 4 years but no motivation to look elsewhere And you think you have something to offer in a relationship when you aren't even happy with yourself. It's the last thing you should be doing. 5
Author mike9876 Posted February 24, 2014 Author Posted February 24, 2014 And you think you have something to offer in a relationship when you aren't even happy with yourself. It's the last thing you should be doing. Probably not but I need to try to mend things with my ex
William Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 (edited) This thread was reported for possibly running its course but moderation has decided to leave it open to *topical* comments assisting the thread starter in resolving their issue. If the discussion appears frustrating or one has no topical comments, there are thousands of other threads on our forums to read and/or discuss. Thanks for reading and please continue! Edited February 24, 2014 by William Thread edit concluded.
stillafool Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Because I still like her. I miss hanging out with her. I was sad that getting back with my ex was going to mean I can't see the new girl anymore You cannot have it both ways. You chose your ex so let this girl go. She deserves to move on to someone better who will not hurt her, someone who is sure he wants her when he gets involved. You have your ex to hang out with. Geesh, stop being so selfish!
KatZee Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Because I still like her. I miss hanging out with her. I was sad that getting back with my ex was going to mean I can't see the new girl anymore I'm sorry but, GET THE HELL OVER IT. Is this thread even serious? Is your head so far up your own a.ss that you can't see what a major jerk off you're being? You don't get to lead people on, sleep with them, throw them out like garbage, and then come back and try to be their "friend." Friends don't treat each other the way you've treated this girl. As if she's something to pass the time. SHE'S A HUMAN BEING. You used her. You played with her emotions. You led her on. And now you're being the biggest clown on the planet by continuing to talk to her and by coming on here with this "wah wah I'm so sad" woe is me, everyone feel sorry for me, mentality. GROW UP. You probably should have thought about how much you'd miss her BEFORE you went and pulled the rug out from under her by running back to your ex. You made your bed. Time to lay in it. 4
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