pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Perhaps it's a mix of both? Either way I'm not able to relate to either of them. No, not really. Someone like me, I like myself enough that I am more than happy to go out on plenty of dates, am fully capable of loving someone, but have enough self-worth and self-esteem to not accept that which doesn't suit me. If I ended up single for the rest of my life - big deal. Because singledom is better than mediocrity. And because I have that emotional strength, I have no issue with attracting guys. I have a friend who is a petite Russian/Chinese girl, and I think she's way, WAY prettier than me. But her scorecard with men is crap, because she's desperate to be in a relaionship, and guys can smell it a mile away. The OP isn't looking for the most suitable love, she's looking for the emotionally unstable freak show. If she loved herself enough, she wouldn't need some co-dependent loser telling her "I love you so much I want to cut myself!!"
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 If I ended up single for the rest of my life - big deal. Because singledom is better than mediocrity. An interesting thought. Though I assume that I don't have to give my opinion on that. And because I have that emotional strength, I have no issue with attracting guys. I have a friend who is a petite Russian/Chinese girl, and I think she's way, WAY prettier than me. But her scorecard with men is crap, because she's desperate to be in a relaionship, and guys can smell it a mile away. What does that look like on the outside? I don't believe I've ever encountered a woman who was single and desperate to be in a relationship. I figure most of those women were in relationships. The OP isn't looking for the most suitable love, she's looking for the emotionally unstable freak show. If she loved herself enough, she wouldn't need some co-dependent loser telling her "I love you so much I want to cut myself!!" I just hope that they aren't sharing the same razor. That's how people get STD's!
Author mysunflower Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 If she loved herself enough, she wouldn't need some co-dependent loser telling her "I love you so much I want to cut myself!!" It's just an expression, and no, I dont want to find a loser who loves me than anything. You got me wrong, I want to find someone that he can make ME LOVE HIM more than anything.
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 An interesting thought. Though I assume that I don't have to give my opinion on that. My dear, let me tell you something - until you have been in a relationship, laid in bed with them inches away from you and realised "F*ck, I am lonely" - you have no idea what you're talking about. I say that in the nicest possible way, but you have no idea. What does that look like on the outside? I don't believe I've ever encountered a woman who was single and desperate to be in a relationship. I figure most of those women were in relationships. In a word? Retarded (sorry). You've never seen it? :laugh: I could tell you some stories... but basically, they self-sabotage. I just hope that they aren't sharing the same razor. That's how people get STD's! Cute.
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 It's just an expression, and no, I dont want to find a loser who loves me than anything. You got me wrong, I want to find someone that he can make ME LOVE HIM more than anything. I don't think romantic love is supposed to be like that. Love for a child, yes, most definitely. To love someone more than anything else? No. That's the short road to a ****ty relationship.
Author mysunflower Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 I don't think romantic love is supposed to be like that. Love for a child, yes, most definitely. To love someone more than anything else? No. That's the short road to a ****ty relationship. It's okay, at least after that ****ty relationship, if I end up with my best friend (and no chemistry), I wont feel like I've missed something in my life.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 My dear, let me tell you something - until you have been in a relationship, laid in bed with them inches away from you and realised "F*ck, I am lonely" - you have no idea what you're talking about. I say that in the nicest possible way, but you have no idea. Yeah that does sound horrible. Hopefully it's nothing I'll ever experience. Though I don't know if I could ever feel alone when I'm with a woman since I've been alone for the vast majority of my life. At this point I feel that a life size doll could keep me company as long as it was warm. Yeah I also realize that I'm a a very low point right now. In a word? Retarded (sorry). You've never seen it? :laugh: I could tell you some stories... but basically, they self-sabotage. No I never noticed it. As a woman you're most likely much better picking up at it than I am. Cute. Heh heh.
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 It's okay, at least after that ****ty relationship, if I end up with my best friend (and no chemistry), I wont feel like I've missed something in my life. Man, you are naive. Seriously. It's not an experience you have to have. Travelling to Europe should be an experience you should have. Drinking snake venom whisky in Thailand is an experience you should have. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship is not an experience you need to have. 1
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Yeah that does sound horrible. Hopefully it's nothing I'll ever experience. Though I don't know if I could ever feel alone when I'm with a woman since I've been alone for the vast majority of my life. At this point I feel that a life size doll could keep me company as long as it was warm. Yeah I also realize that I'm a a very low point right now. No I never noticed it. As a woman you're most likely much better picking up at it than I am. Heh heh. Negativity, bitterness, loneliness in a relationship - they're like bacteria in a petri dish. You might not notice them right away, but before long it's spread like a disease. And it will rub off, don't worry about that.
Author mysunflower Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 Man, you are naive. Seriously. It's not an experience you have to have. Travelling to Europe should be an experience you should have. Drinking snake venom whisky in Thailand is an experience you should have. Being in an emotionally abusive relationship is not an experience you need to have. Why should we assume that if you love someone more than yourself and could do anything to keep him, it's an abusive relationship?
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Why should we assume that if you love someone more than yourself and could do anything to keep him, it's an abusive relationship? Define 'anything' for me.
Leigh 87 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I have real love but it is not the hollywood fantasy you talk about. People have become so brainwashed by movies and and things that aren't even real that they actually compare real life to it. I am talking about: being excited about a person from date one opposed to thinking "okay, she was really nice, I will still date other people to see who's the best fit" Occasionally, you are simply really into someone from day one. Dating others is fruitless as you are way more excited about that one It's possible to be smitten with someone from the start and to be excited about seeing them/hearing from them rather than being meh about them. It doesn't always take "time" to be into someone. It's a simple mix of chemistry and pheromones and all that stuff, when these spark factors also lead to a loving and healthy relationship. I am sure it's not that uncommon to feel a spark about someone that makes you quiet happy and excited about them...and where it leeds to a lasting relationship.
Leigh 87 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Be wary of an unhealthy type of love. The other guy who was smitten and in love with me liked texting me a million times a day... he was over the top romantic. He wanted to kill himself when I met a man whom I DID want to date. It was awful. My bf was crazy about me from date one. As in, he was super happy about meeting me.. he was reallllllly excited about what the future date could unveil..... he thought about me a lot. He lost interest in other women entirely. He didn't text me an u healthy amount. He isn't the type to talk marriage and babies and about "undying love" on a first or even 10th date:lmao: I think it's ideal to find a healthy mix of sexual/romantic chemistry and a spark that sets them apart from most people you meet. All this, combined with an emotionally healthy man who doesn't jump on couches or go too crazy about you to the point where he is utterly consumed with you....
Leigh 87 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 (edited) Be wary of an unhealthy type of love. The other guy who was smitten and in love with me liked texting me a million times a day... he was over the top romantic. He wanted to kill himself when I met a man whom I DID want to date. It was awful. My bf was crazy about me from date one. As in, he was super happy about meeting me.. he was reallllllly excited about what the future dates could unveil..... he thought about me a lot. He lost interest in other women entirely. He didn't text me an u healthy amount. He isn't the type to talk marriage and babies and about "undying love" on a first or even 10th date:lmao: better yet, he never talks like that at all. He would absolutely leave me if I cheated. He wouldn't cop abuse. He likes himsekf too much to tolerate poor treatment in the name of true love... I think it's ideal to find a healthy mix of sexual/romantic chemistry and a spark that sets them apart from most people you meet. All this, combined with an emotionally healthy man who doesn't jump on couches or go too crazy about you to the point where he is utterly consumed with you.... Edited February 21, 2014 by Leigh 87 1
Woggle Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 As much as I love my wife i'm not killing myself over any woman. If she left I would be sad but in the end I would bounce back.
notyouraveragebabe Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I think that today, the standard is to match yourself up with whoever is there at the moment and stay there until someone better comes along. I always find it weird when I see people around me get out of a serious relationship right into another. I had one serious relationship that ended 6 years ago. Sure, I dated since then. But I have yet to find someone who I am serious about and I think that is perfectly normal. I see that a lot too-where my friends would leave one relationship and jump into another. Every guy was the one. Which "one is it? I been dating too, but have yet to find my soul mate. Dating is so hard. It's the ones you want that don't want you. And the ones you want who keeps wanting you. It's a game. I just want to find the "one". The search for love is frustrating. I never thought I would ever be in this situation. Dated my ex for 10 years. We met at 16 and now I'm 28 in this situation. Sometimes I victimize myself and say "why me?" Everyone else is finding love. 1
notyouraveragebabe Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 As much as I love my wife i'm not killing myself over any woman. If she left I would be sad but in the end I would bounce back. We all will bounce back, but the time spent bouncing back is a pain. A heartbreak is not easy. I been through it and never thought I would hurt as much as I did. I was so hurt and he was all I can think about. Never cried so hard or much in my life. But yeah I survived it, and you know it was the hardest thing I ever been endured.
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