mysunflower Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I always dreamt of being madly in love with someone, so much that i couldn't let him go, so much that I might think of killing myself if he left me... But, I dont think Ive ever been in love. I mean I got bfs, and I could tell they loved me a lot. They kept telling me all the times that they loved me, some thanked me for helping them understand love, some showered me with romantic things (which i didn't really care). I liked being with them too, but...if we broke up, I would feel upset for a while and then got over it in 3-4 days. Im jealous with my exs because they knew what love were and experienced it. The problem is I cant stop thinking of wanting to feel that love, and still hope some out there will help me. I'd rather be heart broken than never know how love feels. So, although i got very nice guys, who were so kind to me (even forgave me for cheating without me asking for), i alway feel the urge to leave after a few months and find my true love. It's so easy for me to leave a man. Now i feel tired, and realize maybe i will just never love anyone in my life. And it upsets me a lot. Is it normal to never feel love?
GoreSP Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I think that today, the standard is to match yourself up with whoever is there at the moment and stay there until someone better comes along. I always find it weird when I see people around me get out of a serious relationship right into another. I had one serious relationship that ended 6 years ago. Sure, I dated since then. But I have yet to find someone who I am serious about and I think that is perfectly normal. 1
salparadise Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I think that today, the standard is to match yourself up with whoever is there at the moment and stay there until someone better comes along. Really...??? How old are you?
GoreSP Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Really...??? How old are you? Turning 33 in two weeks.
pickflicker Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I always dreamt of being madly in love with someone, so much that i couldn't let him go, so much that I might think of killing myself if he left me... But, I dont think Ive ever been in love. I mean I got bfs, and I could tell they loved me a lot. They kept telling me all the times that they loved me, some thanked me for helping them understand love, some showered me with romantic things (which i didn't really care). I liked being with them too, but...if we broke up, I would feel upset for a while and then got over it in 3-4 days. Im jealous with my exs because they knew what love were and experienced it. The problem is I cant stop thinking of wanting to feel that love, and still hope some out there will help me. I'd rather be heart broken than never know how love feels. So, although i got very nice guys, who were so kind to me (even forgave me for cheating without me asking for), i alway feel the urge to leave after a few months and find my true love. It's so easy for me to leave a man. Now i feel tired, and realize maybe i will just never love anyone in my life. And it upsets me a lot. Is it normal to never feel love? "It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?" Be careful what you wish for... Real love is not "I would rather kill myself than live without you". If you keep leaving men and looking for that, you will NEVER find it.
Targetlock Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 yep, after the real thing here, just never been close. want to be crazy, carried off my feet, madly in love like i've seen people but never for me, always for someone else.
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I always dreamt of being madly in love with someone, so much that i couldn't let him go, so much that I might think of killing myself if he left me... That is not love. It's some BS Hollywood, fairy tale, fake, bastardized version of love. You shouldn't want to kill yourself over the end of a relationship. Real love is about sticking it out during the tough times, being there to support the other person. Yes, there are romantic aspects during the highs (long walks on the beach, staring at each other's eyes etc.) but it's about paying the bills, getting the car fixed, doing the laundry & putting up with the bad moods, & the colds & their families. The reason you keep leaving is that you're looking for an illusion. 2
Scales Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I always dreamt of being madly in love with someone, so much that i couldn't let him go, so much that I might think of killing myself if he left me... But, I dont think Ive ever been in love. I mean I got bfs, and I could tell they loved me a lot. They kept telling me all the times that they loved me, some thanked me for helping them understand love, some showered me with romantic things (which i didn't really care). I liked being with them too, but...if we broke up, I would feel upset for a while and then got over it in 3-4 days. Im jealous with my exs because they knew what love were and experienced it. The problem is I cant stop thinking of wanting to feel that love, and still hope some out there will help me. I'd rather be heart broken than never know how love feels. So, although i got very nice guys, who were so kind to me (even forgave me for cheating without me asking for), i alway feel the urge to leave after a few months and find my true love. It's so easy for me to leave a man. Now i feel tired, and realize maybe i will just never love anyone in my life. And it upsets me a lot. Is it normal to never feel love? I'm not really sorry nobody is good enough for you. If you want to fall "madly" in love, you must have expectation or an idea of what that entails besides being borderline suicidal. What I imagine you want is a guy who says the right things and also has the body of greek god. He is so valuable you can't live without him and no other men can even compare. He would be the one who would leave you first rather than the other way around. Guess I'll sit here too wondering how come I never got to be with Kate Upton. I'll never know what thats like, I'm so upset....
Tayken Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I always dreamt of being madly in love with someone, so much that i couldn't let him go, so much that I might think of killing myself if he left me... But, I dont think Ive ever been in love. I mean I got bfs, and I could tell they loved me a lot. They kept telling me all the times that they loved me, some thanked me for helping them understand love, some showered me with romantic things (which i didn't really care). I liked being with them too, but...if we broke up, I would feel upset for a while and then got over it in 3-4 days. Im jealous with my exs because they knew what love were and experienced it. The problem is I cant stop thinking of wanting to feel that love, and still hope some out there will help me. I'd rather be heart broken than never know how love feels. So, although i got very nice guys, who were so kind to me (even forgave me for cheating without me asking for), i alway feel the urge to leave after a few months and find my true love. It's so easy for me to leave a man. Now i feel tired, and realize maybe i will just never love anyone in my life. And it upsets me a lot. Is it normal to never feel love? You might waiting for a long long time....first you have to understand what you think "real love is"
Author mysunflower Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 What I imagine you want is a guy who says the right things and also has the body of greek god. Actually I like a quiet guy with a big belly
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Actually I like a quiet guy with a big belly Here you go. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/49/Jonathan_G_Meath_portrays_Santa_Claus.jpg Might not be quiet enough for you, though.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 That is not love. It's some BS Hollywood, fairy tale, fake, bastardized version of love. You shouldn't want to kill yourself over the end of a relationship. Real love is about sticking it out during the tough times, being there to support the other person. Yes, there are romantic aspects during the highs (long walks on the beach, staring at each other's eyes etc.) but it's about paying the bills, getting the car fixed, doing the laundry & putting up with the bad moods, & the colds & their families. The reason you keep leaving is that you're looking for an illusion. Thank you! I blame Hollywood and Disney for giving many women a fake vision of love. That crap ain't real! 2
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 OP, in all seriousness, look up 'stirring the oatmeal' love. That is what real love is. Finding joy in the mundane. Not Romeo and Juliet. 1
xxmusical Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 What's your definition of "real love"? Real love doesn't just "come"... I don't believe we could "find" true love. It just sort of happens.
Tayken Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Here is someone else searching for Then there is the fella letting us know that he wants to 1
Author mysunflower Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 OP, in all seriousness, look up 'stirring the oatmeal' love. That is what real love is. Finding joy in the mundane. Not Romeo and Juliet. I read it. I'm a supportive person, I love those "earning a living, living within a budget, putting out the garbage, feeding the baby in the middle of the night..." things and find no problem doing them. I can do those things with a person without loving him a lot. But... don't you wanna to meet someone that you will love more than yourself? That's what I want to experience, at least once in my life.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 But... don't you wanna to meet someone that you will love more than yourself? That's what I want to experience, at least once in my life. Somebody you love more than yourself? Would you consider yourself to be a narcissist?
Author mysunflower Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 Somebody you love more than yourself? Would you consider yourself to be a narcissist? A little bit, but everybody does. I love myself a lot, so even when I am very sad and want to let go everything, my brain still tells me not to eat junk foods, or drink, or smoke, or using drugs because I think they are ''not good for my body''. I don't think loving yourself is a bad thing at all.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 A little bit, but everybody does. I love myself a lot, so even when I am very sad and want to let go everything, my brain still tells me not to eat junk foods, or drink, or smoke, or using drugs because I think they are ''not good for my body''. I don't think loving yourself is a bad thing at all. Hmm, this thread has taken an interesting turn. Right now, I can't relate to loving myself a lot. Back when I had a GF, I felt that I loved her more than I loved myself. It's funny that people often spout of the cliche saying that you can't love others until you love yourself. But it seems that too much self love, can also prevent yourself from loving others. Hopefully other people will chime in.
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I read it. I'm a supportive person, I love those "earning a living, living within a budget, putting out the garbage, feeding the baby in the middle of the night..." things and find no problem doing them. I can do those things with a person without loving him a lot. But... don't you wanna to meet someone that you will love more than yourself? That's what I want to experience, at least once in my life. Well, it's unlikely that someone will love me more than I love myself. Except maybe my parents, but there's is a different kind of love. That's why I don't put up with crap in relationships - I value myself and my own emotional health and well-being first. What you're talking about, I've experienced. It's utterly unsustainable. That's because love waxes and wanes, like the moon. It's not a constant euphoric state. What you want is insane codependency from stalker losers, who cannot be on their own, who emotionally abuse and wear you down - and it's out there, but expect it to burn out as quickly as it starts, and leave you psychologically crippled for a while. There's nothing about that situation that you can take with you, except "That was a f*cked-up experience. Never again."
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Hmm, this thread has taken an interesting turn. Right now, I can't relate to loving myself a lot. Back when I had a GF, I felt that I loved her more than I loved myself. It's funny that people often spout of the cliche saying that you can't love others until you love yourself. But it seems that too much self love, can also prevent yourself from loving others. Hopefully other people will chime in. Treating your body like a temple, and being genuinely comfortable as yourself, are two very different things.
Leigh 87 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I've felt it. 2 guys have felt it for me. With one I didn't reciprocate. It's intense sexual chemistry and the butterflies that come along with it, coupled with a true lasting love. It is when you are head over heels, smitten and really into a person and have an instant wow factor, and then when THAT spark translates into a loving, long term relationship. Most people are not all that excited about a new partner. They are"meh" and indifferent towards them. They "grow" to love them over many months or it can take over a year for them to fall in love. It is still possible for you to have a passionate romance and for that to go on to become a lasting thing. I found a mutually reciprocated passionate type of love at age 27. I had a guy feel that way about me for the first time a few months prior to meeting my current bf; except I didn't feel passion or chemistry towards him. It's hard to find passion and get a lasting relationship out of it. It's not that rare or elusive, either. It comes down to how attractive you are, both physically or in your personality. I'm the average looking girl but I have had chemistry with plenty of men. I don't think I'd be without that passionate love for very long, either. I consider myself a woman who feels strong mutual chemistry commonly enough. Some people have a very hard time finding tha passionate type of love. A lot of people never find it. They marry their best friend who they have very little chemistry with and they have very blissful lives. There is nothing wrong with ending up with a person who you grow to love over many months versus a person who you're excited about and think about a lot from date one. 1
pickflicker Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Treating your body like a temple, and being genuinely comfortable as yourself, are two very different things. Tried to add something to this but missed the window. Someone who loves themselves, would not seek an emotionally crippling relationship. It's not the fact that this girl loves herself too much, that she can't experience a fulfilling relationship. It's that her priorities and self-perception are so ass-backward, that she thinks love means you have to be so crazy about them, you want to neck yourself, andtell them about it. That's f*cked up.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Tried to add something to this but missed the window. Someone who loves themselves, would not seek an emotionally crippling relationship. It's not the fact that this girl loves herself too much, that she can't experience a fulfilling relationship. It's that her priorities and self-perception are so ass-backward, that she thinks love means you have to be so crazy about them, you want to neck yourself, andtell them about it. That's f*cked up. Perhaps it's a mix of both? Either way I'm not able to relate to either of them.
Woggle Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I have real love but it is not the hollywood fantasy you talk about. People have become so brainwashed by movies and and things that aren't even real that they actually compare real life to it.
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