markmartinisfast Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 My girlfriend doesn't act mean or anything but I always have a fear of letting her down. I always think if I let her down she will instantly leave me. If I do something wrong I fear she will leave me. I don't mean cheating, beating her or calling her names, but just by little things. Like if she wants to go on a date but I have already made plans to shoot some hoops with my buddies I will instantly think she will be mad and leave me, but she doesn't Why am I like this?
soccerrprp Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Why am I like this? The most obvious answer is that you are extremely insecure, but there's another possibility as I see it. Your gf, either personality, demeanor, history, whatever leads you to feel this way. You mention that you feel this way from even the smallest "mistakes." Is your gf dominant? Very critical? One doesn't have to seem "mean" to be these things. What of your own dating/relationship history?
scooby-philly Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I would agree with soccerrprp. It's two questions - one - do you have emotional wounds. 2 - is she emotionally unstable. I know that because of events from my childhood I'm not always the best at picking up social clues from people and I'm also slowly getting better at not thinking the other shoe is going to drop and people are going to abandon me. If you grew in a house where abandonment was in some way done or intimated, then you could have lingering issues. That's not a mark against you - just something you have to learn to understand and control. Regardless of your answer to question 1, there may also be something about her that's unstable. Despite my problems and issues I was engage for a while to a woman who while seemingly friendly, outgoing, and gracious, was very stuck in her ways, was not emotionally available on a real deep level, and was unconsciously only caring for how she was viewed by others. Not meant as a slam, but more of a realization that I experienced similar feelings. Part of it was me, and part of it was her. It wasn't necessarily abandonment (ending relationship) I feared - it was not being good enough because no matter how flexible I was, no matter how much I did, she always lambasted me as self-centered.
ingalls Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 man chill out. how long you been together? im sure she loves you and cares about you
JungleLover Posted March 1, 2014 Posted March 1, 2014 I am here to tell you that your girl will eventually leave you because you have this attitude. It will be a self-fulfilled prophecy. You are probably dripping with insecurity and your fear of her leaving you will likely overwhelm her.
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