AnneT1985 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Hi y'all! I am looking for some honest opinions here please. 1) Instead of buying someone a gift for any occasion (showers, weddings, birthdays, holidays etc), donating to a charity and have the charity mail the recipient an acknowledgment card OR 2) Stating on an invitation that you do not accept gifts and either state you prefer the giver give to charity or you bring a charity donation box/information to the event. Do you find either/both of those scenarios to be passive aggressive/smug/self congratulatory or do you find it to be a genuinely nice gesture? I'd love to hear what y'all think. Thanks so much for each and every opinion and response in advance it is much appreciated!
PegNosePete Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I'll answer in reverse. 2) I find it's a nice gesture from the "couple who have everything". Asking for donations to charity instead of a traditional gift list is selfless and generous. 1) Unprompted buying someone a donation instead of a gift is a bit cheeky. If I was throwing a party, everyone else brought gifts but you turned up with a card saying that you'd donated £20 to charity instead, I would think is rather odd. I'm not materialistic at all (I generally give much more than I receive) but I would feel a bit hard done by if it was my party and I got nothing except a card saying you'd donated to charity.
jnel921 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 If this is for your event and you are passionate about a specific charity as I am then this is a great idea. You would need to specify on your event invitation which charity and further instruction. There is nothing wrong with this if this is for you, however not everyone understands charity. I had a fundraiser one year as I was doing a 3 day breast cancer walk and was surprised at how non charitable some of my friends and family were as I made similar requests for holidays that year. Good luck to you.
Author AnneT1985 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 Thanks y'all. I have learned over time that people have vastly different morals/opinions/comfort zones etc when it comes to charity/fundraising in any capacity which is why I posted this question.
Radu Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Hi y'all! I am looking for some honest opinions here please. 1) Instead of buying someone a gift for any occasion (showers, weddings, birthdays, holidays etc), donating to a charity and have the charity mail the recipient an acknowledgment card If to an occasion i would receive this, i would put a label of 'liberal nazi-mo*on' on the individual's forehead [mentally] but i would say 'thanks'. I like to choose what i believe in, to have my own individual beliefs. If someone did this, i would think that they were in their own idiotic way would try to flaunt their beliefs on me. 2) Stating on an invitation that you do not accept gifts and either state you prefer the giver give to charity or you bring a charity donation box/information to the event. Do you find either/both of those scenarios to be passive aggressive/smug/self congratulatory or do you find it to be a genuinely nice gesture? I'd love to hear what y'all think. Thanks so much for each and every opinion and response in advance it is much appreciated! Ppl are used to bringing presents. You go out, you buy a present ... voila. Having a card from a charity as proof ... sounds a bit, annoying. Stating you prefer to give to charity ... would be ok in my book. [and just that]
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Asking for charity donations instead of gifts is fine. For a funeral I organised I had the guests donate flower money to charity. I had no idea how much people spent, who did or did not, just a box to anonymously put some cash in. It didn't matter to me whether attendees did give or not, but I did think that flowers were a waste of money. As for a donation instead of a gift, I would be touched if they'd donated to a charity they knew I personally cared lots about or supported, for example if they donated to the charity I volunteer for, or a charity that supported a cause I was passionate about. However if they showed up with a donation card to something completely unrelated (a ballet company or something, was that a Friends scene?) I'd be a little confused. That's more of a thing for THEM, not me. Wouldn't say anything though, I don't like to expect gifts. They are a nice bonus if they materialise. If they don't, usually someone's company is the thing I want the most. 1
ASG Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Like everyone has said before, asking for donations to a charity as opposed to presents is absolutely fine! Lots of celebs do it on twitter, when fans ask what they can give them! It's great! However, if you did that to me, I would not be amused. I would rather you not got me anything. why? Because there is no one charity that I am passionate about or care about, so making a donation on my behalf would be weird, since you wouldn't know what kind of cause to donate to. Donating to charity on behalf of someone else should only be done if you know *exactly* what you should be donating to.
HokeyReligions Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I do both. I frankly don't care what people think of me. Office gift exchange I ask for a donation to one of the shelters where I volunteer or support. If I'm bringing a gift to people who don't need anything I make a donation to a charity I know they support and if I don't know then I donate to mine and tell them "I dont know what charities you support so I chose mine..." it gives me an opportunity to talk about my charity and gives them a chance to talk about theirs and I learn more about theirs. I don't do I because I'm smug or think I'm a better person - I do it because I'm that passionate about my charity. If someone thinks I'm smug or rude or something maybe its because they are feeling a little guilty or selfish.
GoreSP Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Hi y'all! I am looking for some honest opinions here please. 1) Instead of buying someone a gift for any occasion (showers, weddings, birthdays, holidays etc), donating to a charity and have the charity mail the recipient an acknowledgment card OR 2) Stating on an invitation that you do not accept gifts and either state you prefer the giver give to charity or you bring a charity donation box/information to the event. Do you find either/both of those scenarios to be passive aggressive/smug/self congratulatory or do you find it to be a genuinely nice gesture? I'd love to hear what y'all think. Thanks so much for each and every opinion and response in advance it is much appreciated! I love it!! Although, I wouldn't count showers in there because part of the idea of a shower is to help new parents (having their first baby) get all the stuff they need (because otherwise it would cost them a ****load of money) But I love the idea of asking donations for charities instead of a wedding, birthday, etc. It's great!
amaysngrace Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 My son's friend was turning nine and all he wanted for his birthday was either dog food or cat food so that he could give it to our local no-kill shelter. Nicest kid EVER!! 1
D-Lish Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I think these are two different scenarios. I think it's nice when people ASK that donations be made to their charity of choice in lieu of gifts. Its quite another story to show up to a wedding or birthday with a gift of a donation to a random charity. I'd find that presumptuous. Such a gift wouldn't be about the recipient, it would be all about the individual making the donation- which negates the notion of what a gift is supposed to be! Unless it's specified as something the people in question want, It's not a habit I'd personally practice. Otherwise, it's more of a self-serving gesture than a gift. I know a few people made donations on my behalf as a wedding gift. I certainly thanked them with the same enthusiasm as I did everyone else. I also recall the charities weren't causes I was passionate about- but causes the givers were passionate about.
HokeyReligions Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 My son's friend was turning nine and all he wanted for his birthday was either dog food or cat food so that he could give it to our local no-kill shelter. Nicest kid EVER!! DEFINITELY A KID AFTER MY OWN HEART:love:
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