What have I done? !

[Expat88]

Hello,

 

Thanks in advance for taking time to read this.

 

I’m 26 and have been in a relationship for 14 months, here it goes.

 

I was living in London, had set up a company with a few friends and was earning good money. For somebody with a poor education I really had a career path! Earning well, making big decisions and learning on the job about management.

 

Of course there were terrible downsides. 70 plus hour weeks, immense pressure and anxiety which led to regular drinking. But I was on top of things and the future was bright (ish).

 

I had a few short relationships but nothing of substance; my life was totally dominated by work, thoughts of work with a little football and drinking thrown in.

 

I took a holiday at the end of 2012 and was introduced to a lady (9 years older), I fell for her immediately. What got me the most was the immense passion she showed for all things. When she laughed she really laughed and naturally when she was sad….. I felt she was fully engaged and engrossed in me and in life.

 

SO I did it…. Went home, sold all my stuff, quit my job ( I was a director), sold my car, handed in notice in my flat and two weeks later I moved in with her. It was a struggle at first, but I got a job within 3 weeks and paid a lot for a work permit.

 

Things had been great, we got a dog, another cat and made huge improvements to the house, the sex was non-stop and incredible (my opinion, hers may differ)!

 

But now a little over a year down the line it feels so different. I have not made good progress at work, I can’t change jobs because of the work permit issues and my income is wildly variable. I live in her house ( I pay rent), have not made friends and feel as if she is the whole of my life.

 

The truth is, she has become snappy, bossy and I don’t feel the same when I look at her. I dread when she comes home from work and I am sorry to admit my temper is so short with her.

 

She has offered to move back to the UK. But she would be leaving a great job and I don’t know whether I could find my feet quickly.

 

I would have terrible guilt about leaving her. She is older than me, I've met ALL of her family (there is a lot of them). But I don’t think she understands my position or is selfless enough to try to.

 

I also feel bitter about my job in the UK, I shouldn't have left. At the time I thought “ I can’t live with myself If I don’t give it a go”

 

Sorry this is so long and poorly composed. I am in such a funk. Full of anxiety and feel pretty hopeless.

[FitChick]

You gave it a go so no need to regret anything. You never know how things will turn out. The most important thing is the job. You have to worry about your own survival. If you had your own business before, why couldn't you do it again when you move back, or has the market changed? Start doing some research.