beyondcrushed Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 (edited) My exbf, who I work with, and I broke up in September. He started talking to me again last week (5 months later), all week, and all upon his instigating. I asked if he had a girlfriend. He said no. Then Friday (Valentines) he invites me out to the movies. We go. We talk afterwards about 'us'. He says he doesn't want to hurt me and sometimes feels its not right to be out with me. But said he wants to hang out and see where it goes. We hung out couple times over the weekend. Naturally i have hope we may get back together. Well i sure got my hopes up, cause the last time we hung out (sunday), we have sex, and while we're naked in each others arms, he tells me he's in love with another woman but he can't have her cause she's married. She loves him too and they talk all day everday, apparently. He proceeds to pour his heart out to me over his pain. Said he started hanging with me cause he's lonely and likes me. I told him I still loved him. He said he knows. Needless to say I was completely crushed. But knew right then he's a liar (i.e. lied about not having a gf, led me on to think we may reunite) and that he is selfish and just using me. This bad experience has given me closure. I now know he has no feelings left for me "that" way, has moved on with someone else, would just be using me and isn't a good person to me. As hurt as I was and sad, I told him I can't hang out with him and that I will be moving on and never looking back at him or what we had. I started a new job this week working on the other side of the office floor far from him and I don't have to work with him anymore. Yay! This will help me move on. Edited February 20, 2014 by beyondcrushed
StGeorge22 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 He sounds like a really selfish guy. But well done on having enough courage and respect for yourself to walk away
Author beyondcrushed Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 Thanks. But my reaction would of been different had it been 5 months ago, soon after our break up. hahaha. Over the last 5 months I've gotten over him a lot. I've done a lot of self-reflection, really saw him for who he was and is. I have learned how to be by myself and feel better about myself. I think this all gave me the strength to say goodbye to him for good. He never did and never will love me the way I hoped for. He never wanted me the way I wanted him. I held out hope and tried one last time, and now I know there will never be anything with him. And I feel at peace with moving on. And I know I'll be just fine:) 1
BC1980 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I'm sorry. That is crap behavior on his part, but you have to be prepared for the consequences if you go out with your ex. I understand wanting to try one last time though because we out minds are trying anything to delay the grief.
StGeorge22 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 You seemed to have handled the situation well and with maturity, which if you ask me is the mark of a quality person. I've also had one last go with my ex and had her tell me she still loves me only for her to pick up and move states ( pretty sure for another guy). As thd other poster said, allowing an ex to come back in has plenty of risks but as I say I really admire how you are handling it and I look forward to the day I can put a line thru my situation too
Author beyondcrushed Posted February 21, 2014 Author Posted February 21, 2014 Yes, I was certainly delaying grief by holding out hope. I didn't want to keep hoping and let myself be affected by him. I know it was a huge risk engaging him again, but I was willing to take it to get that closure. And am so glad I did. I can let go of hope and him. I'm in a much better place. So freeing. Thanks all for your kind words:) Sorry to hear about your experience St.George22. I too hope you get closure. All the best:) 1
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