Stay_Gold Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Any girls here ever bought their boyfriend clothes...??? I HATE it when I see a man get clothes from his girlfriend...especially when the clothes she buys is a TOTAL 180 of his "usual" style of clothing. Like...for instance...if his usual style is casual but she goes and buys him rebel style because she saw a HOT guy in a magazine with a leather motorcycle jacket or because she thinks that her man will look like Brad Pitt with those boots and jackets. Reason why I hate this...is because I feel like a Woman should love her man for who he is and should not try to change him including his "sense of style". Honestly...to tell you the truth...I would get a red flag if my GF bought me something that I know is "not" my style. First question that would pop in my head is "So...what...you don't like my taste in fashion?" I mean...I would never think about changing my GF's clothing because honestly...I know nothing about women's fashion. I see this a lot in my friends relationships and a lot of places I go. I will see a friend's clothing change and I will usually ask him where he got it and most of the time...the GF bought it for him. Women...Please tell me what your reasons are for doing this (if you do it) and any other opinions/views you have on the topic is greatly appreciated and welcomed. Thanks.
Emilia Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Oh I'm smarter than that I compliment him when he is wearing something that really suits him. I'll also drop hints on what I think would suit him. He will then all of a sudden starts wearing those things after going out buying them It's called 'influencing' rather than 'nagging' or 'controlling' 2
Els Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 You know that if you dislike the style you can choose to not wear it, right? I buy my guy casual tees (not work or formal clothes), because he just hates shopping and doesn't have much time for it. I know what he likes, so I usually conform to his style or close enough. It's a nice thing that I do for him if I happen to see anything while passing by the store. Fortunately, he also appreciates it rather than automatically making the false (and rather paranoid) assumption that it is to control/change him, as the OP does. 1
GoreSP Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Oh I'm smarter than that I compliment him when he is wearing something that really suits him. I'll also drop hints on what I think would suit him. He will then all of a sudden starts wearing those things after going out buying them It's called 'influencing' rather than 'nagging' or 'controlling' Yeah! Wait....my ex did that to me. The sad part is that it worked a little too well... 2
Philosoraptor Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I told my fiancee that if she buys me something I didn't like I would take it back. So far she has purchased me zero attire and I'm quite happy with that.
Got it Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I buy my husband clothes that he likes/wears. I wouldn't think to change his style but I like his style so have no reason to change it. I may not always get a bullseye on it but I try and follow what he already has and get similar. The same goes, I don't want someone to buy me clothes that aren't my style. THat is annoying, you have to return it and they get their feelings hurt. It just sucks. 1
Emilia Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Yeah! Wait....my ex did that to me. The sad part is that it worked a little too well... Guys do this too, I don't mind. I'm happy to wear things I own already anyway that he especially likes. 1
Emilia Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I buy my guy casual tees (not work or formal clothes), because he just hates shopping and doesn't have much time for it. I know what he likes, so I usually conform to his style or close enough. It's a nice thing that I do for him if I happen to see anything while passing by the store. Fortunately, he also appreciates it rather than automatically making the false (and rather paranoid) assumption that it is to control/change him, as the OP does. I used to buy my ex husband's shirts and ties because he was too lazy 1
Radu Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Any girls here ever bought their boyfriend clothes...??? I HATE it when I see a man get clothes from his girlfriend...especially when the clothes she buys is a TOTAL 180 of his "usual" style of clothing. Like...for instance...if his usual style is casual but she goes and buys him rebel style because she saw a HOT guy in a magazine with a leather motorcycle jacket or because she thinks that her man will look like Brad Pitt with those boots and jackets. See, i agree with you on this one. But have you considered the situation where he is turned on by the rebel style, and just wants it for a fantasy play ? I don't know about you but the former would annoy me, while the latter would not bother me. Afterall, she will do other things for me as well if i do this thing for her. Reason why I hate this...is because I feel like a Woman should love her man for who he is and should not try to change him including his "sense of style". Honestly...to tell you the truth...I would get a red flag if my GF bought me something that I know is "not" my style. Agreed, she should not try this ... no woman -or man- should try to change their SO this way. But are you going to red flag her for this ?; what if it was 1 item and she made a mistake. Emilia makes a good point, you will catch more flies with honey than with vinegar ... so appreciate the gesture, say thanks, but it's not your style. Make sure she gets the point that you appreciate the fact that she looked for clothes for you. First question that would pop in my head is "So...what...you don't like my taste in fashion?" I mean...I would never think about changing my GF's clothing because honestly...I know nothing about women's fashion. I have crap taste in fashion, i am wearing clothes that i got more than 15yrs ago [a fantastic cotton hoodie of very high quality]. So i would appreciate some input, especially if it works. I would also appreciate it because then i could make suggestions like 'honey, dress like a sex bomb, i want them to drop their jaws' once in a while. Or i could ask her to wear something she doesn't particularly likes, but which would turn me on greatly. It's a quid pro quo thing. I see this a lot in my friends relationships and a lot of places I go. I will see a friend's clothing change and I will usually ask him where he got it and most of the time...the GF bought it for him. Women...Please tell me what your reasons are for doing this (if you do it) and any other opinions/views you have on the topic is greatly appreciated and welcomed. Thanks. In my opinion [not a woman], purpose matters. If it was done with the purpose of changing me, i would get a red flag warning. If it was done with the purpose of her having a fantasy, or because she was kind ... what is the harm ? 1
d0nnivain Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 When I first started to date my husband I bought him clothes in his style but in upgraded fabrics. He wore a lot of polyester because he thought he could only afford down market clothes. I bought him stuff on sale in better fabrics -- cotton, wool, etc. As he learned more about fashion & fabric his taste improved & changed. There are some things he still won't wear (shorts) but for the most part I worked within his style set. I did upgrade his wardrobe a bit -- nice blazer, tuxedo etc. If he was going to date me, he needed those things because my social circle included places he could wear them while his had not. On some levels I think many women treat the men in their lives as life-size Ken dolls but we rarely do it to be mean or insulting. If you don't want us to impose out taste on you at least tell us what we can buy you .. . . e.g. I want that shirt.
Tayken Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 @OP.... There are some women who want their men to look a certain way because they want to show them off to their friends, or so that their friends don't look down on them I personally have never had a partner buy clothes for me, and I cringe when am in stores and women are buying clothes for the guy, and he stands there like a little child. Luckily for me having grown up in a mega city in Europe, I grew with a good sense of style (not designer labels), which gets a lot of compliments all the time from women and men alike (it does bother me when a guy compliments me though) My running shoes are for running, I do not wear jeans at all, and my casual clothes are mostly dress pants and shirts...with boots and dress shoes to go with it I also have a number of suits
regine_phalange Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I dont like to play the fairy godmother game and I dont try to change my man's style of clothing. When Im into someone, it means Im into their individual sense of dressing too. I always adapt and buy gifts that he would wear AND I happen to like. It can be a geeky tshirt or a good pair of cufflinks. Doesnt matter, as long as its in his preferences.
MissBee Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I had one boyfriend whom I didn't particular like his clothing, but neither did he and he requested I help him with his style, and so I did. He looked infinitely better and it even went to his head a bit . All of a sudden women at his office were complimenting him and he thought he was hot stuff. He was already attractive but didn't really wear clothes that flattered him, so I helped him to try different styles and to develop a personal style. He asked me to though and he also had his own mind and could choose not to wear certain things, but largely we'd go to the store and I'd pick out some pieces and he'd try them and if he liked them he got it and if he didn't like the fit or color he would get something else. He's the only bf I did that with. Everyone else had their own sense of style already pinned down and if I got them clothing it would be along the lines of what I see them wearing already.
tbf Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 H DEMANDS that I help him choose, even though he's got impeccable taste. His taste is classic with an edge. My taste has always leaned towards well-dressed men where the definition of well-dressed was that they wore it well, confidently and comfortably. So changing their style wasn't a consideration. Frankly, if a guy dressed like crap, he wouldn't have been in the running.
somedude81 Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I would not want a GF or wife to buy me clothes because she isn't my mother. But I do love going shopping with girls and having them help me pick out clothes and see what matches.
xxmusical Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I used to get my bf clothes (t-shirts, dress shirts that are his style) for special occasions, like birthdays. Then I start to notice he rarely wears them (which he replies, "I don't want to get them all worn-out") except for the t-shirts, so I just stopped getting him anything lol. Instead, he would now drag me to go shopping with him.
Tayken Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Men being dressed by their partners......"mummy issues"? Now if a man tries to dress a woman, does that project as him being "controlling"?
Els Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Men being dressed by their partners......"mummy issues"? Now if a man tries to dress a woman, does that project as him being "controlling"? Uh, men buy stuff for their woman to wear all the time. Not usually 'clothes' as they typically have little interest in picking those out, but lingerie, jewelry, etc. My guy bought me a coat. It's a nice thing people do for their partners. You guys really need to lighten up and stop reading ulterior motives into every single gesture. I'm sure there are a few people who do it as a means of control, but those people are going to be demonstrating controlling behaviour in other aspects as well, and buying clothes is irrelevant. 2
hasaquestion Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I think its perfectly reasonable for a girlfriend to advise her man on fashion. I know everyone likes to think they are above constructive criticism, but a trip to a crowded place in many parts of the country reveals a lot of men who would look much better if their S/O were picking the groceries. Now there's a point where it becomes controlling. But people should generally be open to self-improvement. That includes considering your gfs fashion advice. 1
Tayken Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Uh, men buy stuff for their woman to wear all the time. Not usually 'clothes' as they typically have little interest in picking those out, but lingerie, jewelry, etc. My guy bought me a coat. It's a nice thing people do for their partners. You guys really need to lighten up and stop reading ulterior motives into every single gesture. I'm sure there are a few people who do it as a means of control, but those people are going to be demonstrating controlling behaviour in other aspects as well, and buying clothes is irrelevant. Aye Aye...I didn't realize we have now moved from the exterior to the interior now...I mean who is going reject lingerie that nobody is going to see? The question at hand is clothes as in what you wear on the outside that people see you in Ulterior motives can't be neglected especially when you have been around the block once.....only a fool will go all in with their eyes closed. If you are going to be getting lingerie, just make sure the carpet matches the drapes
Els Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Aye Aye...I didn't realize we have now moved from the exterior to the interior now...I mean who is going reject lingerie that nobody is going to see? The question at hand is clothes as in what you wear on the outside that people see you in I had no idea that 'being controlling' only matters when it comes to clothes that 'other people see you in'. So your gf buying a shirt or watch or jacket for you is not okay, but buying a postman costume or daily underwear for you is perfectly okay? Ulterior motives can't be neglected especially when you have been around the block once.....only a fool will go all in with their eyes closed. Opening your eyes is not the same thing as walking everywhere with your nose buried in photographs of the past.
Shepp Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 My gf is a seriously solid gift buyer! She'll only buy me clothes occasionally if she sees something I'll like, and she's always accurate (or maybe I'm just that predicable ) I mean she knows the places I shop (though i mostly buy clothes online) and she knows the kind of clothes I wear, so it should be simple enough right? But I know where she shops and I know the clothes she wears but I would never even attempt to buy her clothes, I would not have a clue.
Tayken Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I had no idea that 'being controlling' only matters when it comes to clothes that 'other people see you in'. So your gf buying a shirt or watch or jacket for you is not okay, but buying a postman costume or daily underwear for you is perfectly okay? Opening your eyes is not the same thing as walking everywhere with your nose buried in photographs of the past. You learn new things everyday don't ya?
newmoon Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 there are some men who get to age 30-40+ and wonder why they are still single. and if you look in their fridge or closets you can immediately tell why. there is zero care being taken with their health, body or (outward) personal appearance, including clothing. when I meet a guy who falls into this category they are often looking for and needing/wanting a woman and/or wife to help them out. perhaps age has a lot to do with it too; in my 20s I never bought clothes for my bf's because they had a style and were fashionable, but when a guy ages and he's stillw earing clothes from his 20s, he can often use a helping hand. as long as you stick to his fave colors and style (like if he prefers short over long sleeve, button over pullover, etc) most guys won't have a problem with this. and it's not controlling. I have never had a man react badly to clothing I've purchased and I never buy it in an attempt to 'change' him. I buy it so I can know it's new, clean, smells good, and makes him look like less of a slob. if my bf's were left to their own devices I'd be embarrassed at social functions because they don't have things to wear. some men are very good at fashion, most need some help. 1
chatters Posted February 24, 2014 Posted February 24, 2014 Hello, I have crap taste in fashion, i am wearing clothes that i got more than 15yrs ago [a fantastic cotton hoodie of very high quality]. So i would appreciate some input, especially if it works. The Great Online Shopping Festival 2013 - Best Online Shopping Deals and Sales
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