blasta90 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Ok so there is this girl I've know for about 10 years. We met when I was 13, I'm 23 now. We went out for 1 year 4 months when I was 16-17. During that time we never had sex because we were very inexperienced. I never cheated on her during that time. Over many years we stilled remained friends on and off. I was her 1st true love also. It always bothered us that we never had sex. Recently we've reconnected and began seeing eachother. We were able to have sex but a different issue occured. During sex I went limp. I became frustrated and thought she wasn't intimate enough with me. I also thought about how all the times I watched porn that it may have corrupted my mind and expanded my expectations during sex. Her and I come from different sexual backgrounds. I've mostly had one night stands with many women and she has just been with 2 boyfriends longterm that she has made love to. I haven't made love to her. I am very attracted to her and she does turn me on. We're both in love woth eachother. But for some reason I find myself losing it during sex. We've had sex about 7 or 8 times now. The problem is that it kills her mood right away and makes a big deal about it. Now she's to the point where she doesn't feel like doing it anymore. I told her she needs to be more intimate with me but how can she be when she just doesn't feel it anymore. I don't believe my expectations are outrageous but at the same time I won't settle for amateur sex. I don't know what to do but all I know is if she is not intimate the way I want her to be, then I don't think its going to work out.
vanhalenfan Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Honestly, you two are just probably not sexually compatible. 1
ThatGirl213 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Seems you have a lot of experience...You could always be a teacher and teach her what you like. You will need a lot of patience but if you think it is worth it, try it.
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Sex is all a mind game my friend. First stop with the porn. That **** is toxic to real sex. Go hit a porn set just once and you will find out that pretty quick. I take it you have never had this problem before? And you don't do any drugs or drink too much? And there are no physical problems or medications? What does not being intimate enough mean to you? She won't give you a hummer? She just wants to lay missionary like a wet rag? Not enough passion or moaning? Do you initially get it up then lose it switching positions? Or just get going and the south decides to take a nap in the middle? Or just a flat floppy disk all together? How much do you masturbate? How often do you watch porn? Is it lack of sensation? Does she feel lose or are you under endowed? I'm gonna need a little more info to figure out what your issue is here.
Author blasta90 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 @Thatgirl213: I have tried teaching her but she says it's too much. @LEEVIT2F8: I only smoke cigs. No drugs and occassional drinking. I watched a lot of porn before her and I reconnected. I beat it like once a day. I tend to lose it when we switch positions and sometimes when im inside her. It does feel great when i go in but not enough touching, moaning. Basically I want her to screw me like a pornstar would but thats a problem for her.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Define what you mean by "amateur sex". Do you view yourself as exceptionally skilled or something? You also mention that you tried to teach her, but she said it was too much. What exactly did you try to teach her, and how so? Sometimes it's in the delivery of the instruction, if you catch what I mean. I say this because your post comes across as a little arrogant, to be perfectly honest. If she senses this, she will feel inadequate and unmotivated to "learn" from you. I can guarantee that if you say/have said that you want her to have sex like a porn start, her self-esteem will be crushed because she knows you're comparing her to an actress. OP, keep in mind that the actors you see in porn as just that - actors. They exaggerate and falsify for the purposes of the production, not because the sex is so awesome. They're following the instructions of a director and producer. They've filmed scenes over and over until they're perfect. I very much doubt the same orchestration goes into your love-making. Your expectations are therefore just a tad unrealistic. Finally...have you considered how your own performance could contribute to this? Maybe you're not blowing her away and therefore she's not as into it as you'd like.
Author blasta90 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 @ExpatInItaly: I agree with you. I do have performance anxiety. I guess I didn't use the correct term. I know for sure I'm not an expert when it comes to sex but I do feel I have some experience. I just want our sex to be somewhat above average. It's mostly the oral part that I have high expectations for. She feels that its just not necessary to do the extra and if I feel she doesn't enjoy it then whats the point.
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 @Thatgirl213: I have tried teaching her but she says it's too much. @LEEVIT2F8: I only smoke cigs. No drugs and occassional drinking. I watched a lot of porn before her and I reconnected. I beat it like once a day. I tend to lose it when we switch positions and sometimes when im inside her. It does feel great when i go in but not enough touching, moaning. Basically I want her to screw me like a pornstar would but thats a problem for her. Good news easy fix for you! No porn, no jerking, and no sex for at least a week maybe two. Your brain is wired in fantasy right now. And you need to let it reset. Next session really get into the foreplay. Just lay naked and enjoy each other's bodies. Manually and orally please her. Take your time and enjoy everything about her you find sexy. Like her neck or shoulders or that delicious little hollow point by the hip... a couple of my favorites. LOL Allow her to masturbate herself for you to orgasm. Assist her in this with kissing and exploring all of her body. This will allow her to open up and relax as well. Let her manually and orally please you. Just really relax and enjoy being with HER!! Then when you feel its right knock the bottom out of that thing!! Do it right and each time she will trust you with more and more adventurous encounters. The fact she still around after like 7-8 very disappointing sessions lets me know this will work 100%.
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