napy666 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I like many have a dating profile and I have gotten some of the most dumb messages lately. Guys asking me "What types of movies and video games do you like?" "What's your name?" "What makes you nerdy or geeky?" "Where you from?" "How old are you?" etc. When yet ALL of the answers are RIGHT THERE on my profile! Why do I need to repeat myself when the answer is right there?
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 There isn't much reason to read a dating profile if you're a guy. I mean I do it, but it's not a great use of time...
Tayken Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 blanket statement....."guys", what demographic are we talking here? Why do I need to repeat myself when the answer is right there Er...confirmation to make sure you know what you wrote?
Keenly Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I bet half to all of the stuff you are complaining about guys asking is not in your profile.
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Because your profile is one of HUNDREDS that they're skimming through without actually absorbing any information since very few will ever respond to their messages anyways? 2
WP4046 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I like many have a dating profile and I have gotten some of the most dumb messages lately. Guys asking me "What types of movies and video games do you like?" "What's your name?" "What makes you nerdy or geeky?" "Where you from?" "How old are you?" etc. When yet ALL of the answers are RIGHT THERE on my profile! Why do I need to repeat myself when the answer is right there? No one reads profiles online. It's all about the looks 1
WP4046 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 napy666 thinks she is the only woman online lol
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I wrote that I am not looking for casual sex. Yet 90% of the messages I get are for casual sex 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 No one reads profiles online. It's all about the looks I go through a guy's profile with fine tooth comb to decide if I am going to reply. Pictures are less important. As long as he is about average looking, I am cool with that. 1
WP4046 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I wrote that I am not looking for casual sex. Yet 90% of the messages I get are for casual sex well I wrote I am looking for a intimate encounter and 90% of the messages I get are about dating topics So women don't read profile either if they are attracted
Keenly Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I wrote that I am not looking for casual sex. Yet 90% of the messages I get are for casual sex Then stop being pretty around a sea of horny guys That one is definitely their bad. Many OLD women seem to expect random strangers to know anything and everything about them, when 90% of the time, they are just trying to start small talk conversation . If any of those guys asked you what video games you like in person, I bet you'd actually talk to them. How about giving some of them a chance instead being stuck up ? 5
pickflicker Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I like many have a dating profile and I have gotten some of the most dumb messages lately. Guys asking me "What types of movies and video games do you like?" "What's your name?" "What makes you nerdy or geeky?" "Where you from?" "How old are you?" etc. When yet ALL of the answers are RIGHT THERE on my profile! Why do I need to repeat myself when the answer is right there? Because most guys look at your photo and make an assessment as to whether they want to open a conversation with you. And if they're reading your profile, they may be picking something from it to open a conversation. I do that, when I read guys profiles. You're going to have to dismount off your high horse there and try a bit harder. If they open with a question/statement other than 'nice tits' and are wearing their shirt in the profile picture, they deserve some polite conversation, at least. It could be worse. 3
pickflicker Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I wrote that I am not looking for casual sex. Yet 90% of the messages I get are for casual sex Because guys (most of them) don't read a profile. The best profile for a woman is some gorgeous photos and a few things about you in bullet-point form. The best profile for a man is some snazzy photos and a detailed dissertation on the kind of person that you are. The critical mistake that most people make with online dating, is that they write a profile that people of the same sex will be interested in. Hence, topless photos of men and 'wazzup' messages, and women writing an essay about everything they're looking for in a guy. 5
Tayken Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 (edited) I go through a guy's profile with fine tooth comb to decide if I am going to reply. Pictures are less important. As long as he is about average looking, I am cool with that. In the same sentence....come on The best profile for a man is some snazzy photos and a detailed dissertation on the kind of person that you are. The latter and not the former for me, and most men tat I know.....may be it's an age thing, culture or geographical location? Boobs and a$$ don't impress me much, been there done that...looking for more than that Edited February 20, 2014 by Tayken
pickflicker Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I wrote that I am not looking for casual sex. Yet 90% of the messages I get are for casual sex Writing this in your profile will never weed them out. That's like saying "Please, no pictures of your penis." Sure as the sun rises, you'll open your inbox the next day and there will be 20 erections in there. Instead, know what you want in yourself, but don't put it on your profile. Just weed them out by reading their email/looking at their profile and deleting if necessary. Putting "I don't want to play games, I don't want casual sex, I don't want, I don't want..." is just going to make guys annoyed and not bother contacting you. Too negative. Only put positives on your profile. 2
TB Rhine Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Because your profile is one of HUNDREDS that they're skimming through without actually absorbing any information, since very few will ever respond to their messages anyways? Amen. When one out of every twenty women you write to will respond (if you're lucky), it's just not worth the investment to do a deep-level analysis of every profile before you respond to it. Put it this way: I've tried every possible strategy - skimming and sending short, friendly messages to a crapton of women, sending longer, well-thought-out messages to a select few ladies (based on a careful reading of their profile), and even, God help me, sending well-thought-out messages to a crapton of women (a time-consuming endeavor, let me tell you). Neither strategy affected my average one. Single. IOTA. Women seem to complain a lot about men engaging in mindless horndog behavior on the internet (and in real life, come to that). The key to changing this? Stop rewarding said behavior. The day women start demanding more of men will be the day we start holding ourselves to a higher standard.
theothersully Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Wow! I think a lot of guys are making their not overly successful OLD life even worse by doing this. Unbelievable. TB Rhine says he gets a 1:20 response ratio initially. With a lower initial response ratio, he (and probably most others) just skim and fire away because it's not worth it. I guarantee that sending lousy messages with an already 1:20 response ratio is going to plummet that response ratio eve further. I really don't mean to single you out, TB Rhine. Just noting your post because it speaks to the point. I've been in OLD since there was a world wide web. I was in college working in a lab the day Mosaic came out and brought us from Gopher to a living web. As soon as there were ways to pick up girls online, I was doing it. ha ha ha I remember using Adult Friend Finder for years. AOL chat rooms. MySpace. Over all my years of online dating, i think I have it down to a science. I get well over a 9:1 response ratio. Secrets? #1: Best possible pictures you can find. Honest pictures, but most flattering. #2: Meaningful, conversation that hits on things you have in common. You need to get a sense of her through READING her profile to do this! #3: You better have an interesting profile because women read! 9:1 response ratio.... at least. In fact, I can only think of a few who didn't respond and it still bothers me to this day! ha ha ha Note that i am selective as hell and only even write to what I would consider the top 5% (of what i find attractive) on a dating site. Even then, i eliminate several if they sound too demanding or full of themselves in not a confident way, but a mean way. What you get out of OLD is exactly what you put in. 1
Tayken Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Wow! I think a lot of guys are making their not overly successful OLD life even worse by doing this. Unbelievable. TB Rhine says he gets a 1:20 response ratio initially. With a lower initial response ratio, he (and probably most others) just skim and fire away because it's not worth it. I guarantee that sending lousy messages with an already 1:20 response ratio is going to plummet that response ratio eve further. I really don't mean to single you out, TB Rhine. Just noting your post because it speaks to the point. I've been in OLD since there was a world wide web. I was in college working in a lab the day Mosaic came out and brought us from Gopher to a living web. As soon as there were ways to pick up girls online, I was doing it. ha ha ha I remember using Adult Friend Finder for years. AOL chat rooms. MySpace. Over all my years of online dating, i think I have it down to a science. I get well over a 9:1 response ratio. Secrets? #1: Best possible pictures you can find. Honest pictures, but most flattering. #2: Meaningful, conversation that hits on things you have in common. You need to get a sense of her through READING her profile to do this! #3: You better have an interesting profile because women read! 9:1 response ratio.... at least. In fact, I can only think of a few who didn't respond and it still bothers me to this day! ha ha ha Note that i am selective as hell and only even write to what I would consider the top 5% (of what i find attractive) on a dating site. Even then, i eliminate several if they sound too demanding or full of themselves in not a confident way, but a mean way. What you get out of OLD is exactly what you put in. If you think some men don't already do all that, then think again......Personally, my OLD experience has been 80% good so I can't complain. The same can be said for women too....it's all BS that women read the profile of me, all the emphasis is on the picture and the fantasies of what the guy is like in bed....yes you might look at his income and occupation as that obviously is crucial as to if he is able to take you out Women seem to complain a lot about men engaging in mindless horndog behavior on the internet (and in real life, come to that). The key to changing this? Stop rewarding said behavior. The day women start demanding more of men will be the day we start holding ourselves to a higher standard. You are bloody well right mate
normal person Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 (edited) Girls are just as guilty of this. I make it very clear in my profile that a dislike of mine is "messages that just say 'hi.'" Half the girls completely disregard that and do it anyways. The more ambitious types might include a smiley face. Honestly, comments related to my profile are the only messages I'll reply to. If someone's legitimately interested in you, they'll read your profile in full. If someone's too lazy to do that or can't be bothered to think of something that isn't trivial ("How was your weekend?"), they deserve get a polite rejection at best. If someone doesn't take the time to read what you've written and still messages you, you can use that as a good reason to remove them from dating consideration. It's easy as that. Edited February 20, 2014 by normal person
pickflicker Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 You think guys are the only ones guilty of this? I make it very clear in my profile that a dislike of mine is "messages that just say 'hi.'" Half the girls completely disregard that and do it anyways. The more ambitious types might include a smiley face. Honestly, comments related to my profile are the only messages I'll reply to. If someone's legitimately interested in you, they'll read your profile in full. If someone's too lazy to do that or can't be bothered to think of something that isn't trivial ("How was your weekend?"), they deserve get a polite rejection at best. If someone doesn't take the time to read what you've written and still messages you, you can use that as a good reason to remove them from dating consideration. It's easy as that. You have to remember, women on the whole don't need to reach out on OLD - the guys will do that in spades. I agree with you, and I always try to write a specific message if I am contacting someone. But putting "I don't like people who just say 'hi'" is once again, putting negatives on your profile. Don't do it. Your profile needs to be upbeat and positive with no negatives. Keep your negatives to yourself and weed candidates out based on them, but listing them in your profile will get you nowhere. It's not an effective filter.
normal person Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 (edited) You have to remember, women on the whole don't need to reach out on OLD - the guys will do that in spades. I agree with you, and I always try to write a specific message if I am contacting someone. But putting "I don't like people who just say 'hi'" is once again, putting negatives on your profile. Don't do it. Your profile needs to be upbeat and positive with no negatives. Keep your negatives to yourself and weed candidates out based on them, but listing them in your profile will get you nowhere. It's not an effective filter. I know negatives are to be avoided but if you saw it in context, you'd laugh. It's amidst a few jokes and the rest is overwhelmingly positive. A lot of girls who send good messages tell me how funny it is (including that part). The tone of my profile is overwhelmingly upbeat and thus a non-factor, it's not a novel, and I get plenty of messages -- the problem is that half of the girls who send them clearly didn't read it. I have no issues with online dating other than having to filter out the girls who don't pass the simple test. If they're incapable of reading a dozen sentences and retaining the information, I probably don't want to go out with them anyways. To each their own. Edited February 20, 2014 by normal person
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