baseddizzle Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Alright guys so I'm new but I have lurked on her for a while prior to joining. Anyways here's what happened: I go to a community college and recently I have dropped alot of weight and feel pretty confident about myself. So school started three weeks ago today and I have this class twice a week. In this class is this really cute girl who I just started noticing last week. So it's Wednesday of last week and class had ended, she started to talk and walk out with one of her friends (some random dude) but I really didn't care. I walked up, introduced myself, and asked if her and her friend wanted to join me in a study session for a upcoming test. The dude was visibly mad but they are not dating. Anyways I maintain eye contact, no slouching, and keep a smile while talking to her. In fact it got to the point where it was just me and her and the dude in the background wasn't even there. That Wednesday I gave her (and him) my number and did not get theirs. The following day SHE texts me back saying it's her with a face. I was legitimately busy so I didn't text back until later. We chatted a bit and for three days I was always the one to leave the conversation first. I really didn't write elaborate texts, just a few words here and there. I'm not trying to sound clingy or say too much too soon. Anyways the day that we were all supposed to meet up for the study group, she said she had gotten sick and a face. So she did not make it and the other dude didn't even bother showing up. But she warned me ahead of time (like an hour before the meet time) and I didn't go at all either. I was hoping to isolate her and get to know here better in person rather than text, so I thought the study group thing would be a good idea. But since it never came to be, I let it go treated it as no big deal, since it wasn't a date or anything. Fast forward to today. So I get to class, see her and instantly give her a hug and start eye contact again while laughing and talking. We walk into class and sit next to each other, here I notice that she is indeed sick, as she kept sniffling and coughing. I was relaxed and cool, no fidgeting in my seat, or staring at her or nothing like that. And I usually get real nervous around pretty women. After class was done I walked out and noticed her trying to get her written assignment done to catch up to me. To be honest I made myself go slow so we could get out at almost the same time. She walked out with whoop whoop, the kid that was mad at me for swooping in or whatever. But now the dude is super cool with me and I start joking around with them. So the girl begins to walk next to me and asks me questions about myself, what race am I, etc. I give her a few witty answers and some real statements. As we walk she beings to talk about her "perfect man" and the dude next to her begins to describe me as she smiles. She then proceeds to ask me about my dating life and I simply respond "I don't think we know each other like that yet haha" she laughed and called me mean as we continued walking. We finally all reach a crossroads at the school and the other dude decides to leave, and it's just me and her. I opted to go with her because she said she was gonna go see her female cousin at the cafeteria. So we walk and chat, looking back THIS WAS THE TIME I should have asked to TAKE HER OUT. But more on that later. We go in, and she introduces me to her cousin and she (the cousin) is super cool. She struggled with introducing me with a title, she was going to say "this is my..." and wanted to say friend but it was like she couldn't, so I stepped up and said I was her potential suitor (stupid I know). We talk for a bit and shes sitting next to me and her leg touches mine, yet when she talks she doesn't look at me at all and only her cousin, but her cousin gets me into the conversation. I make them both laugh hard with the stuff I say. It's a good ten minutes and then it's time for her class so she gets up and their class was on the way to my next class so we walk together again. This was the last time I was going to see her until next week, and I don't like asking girls out over text so I went through the fight or flight response and decided to fight and make a move. As we say our goodbyes she looks at me and says "well I guess I'll see you when..we have our study group?" Then thinking I was smooth go and blurt out in front of her cousin: "I mean I'm not trying to see you only in a study group, what days are you off?" She tells me that Friday shes going to sleepover at her cousins house and that shes free Saturday too, then I go in for the kill [...literally ] and say: "Well then lets HANG OUT on Saturday" Now the cousin feels awkward but I was so focused on asking the female out that I didn't realize I didn't say something along the lines of "LETS GO OUT" The female looks at me with a smile and says "Uhh, alright!".....then she looks at her cousin and says "with her too!" I go and say "umm, yeah, sure, we'll make some plans then" we say bye, give hugs and as I turn around I can hear from the cousin: "...well that was super awkward" ...and that's when it hit me that I had made a fatal mistake. The chicken was NOT in coop, the horse was NOT in the barn, and most definitely the eagle had NOT landed. I realized I just put myself in the friendzone (did I?). So now I'm kicking myself over making such a weak move after such a great start. I just wish i could hop into a Delorian and go back in time to warn my past self What do you guys think? Did I really just kill off all my chances at ever being anything more than this girls "friend"? I know saying "hang out" was bad, even worse in front of her cousin. So now she's part of it. I can already tell if the "plans" to hang out even do come to fruition it wont be as intimate as just me and her. Plus now its a hang out, only friends hang out, people in a relationship date. I know it may be too soon to think that (I've only known her for maybe a good 7 days) Anyways let me know what you guys think my next move should be. I feel like Peyton Manning in the Superbowl, just defeated. I try to elaborate on everything as clear as I can to avoid confusion. Plus my major is creative writing so yeah. But there was nothing creative about this situation So let me know guys and gals
sabre80 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 How good looking is the cousin? I say go hang out with them both.
bluesgirl Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 From a girls perspective I would say you aren't in the friend zone yet. I probably wouldn't have made a move to ask her out so soon yet. I would have given it another week or so before you actually asked her. I only say this to let the suspense build up for her...she obviously knows you like her or you wouldn't be texting her or asking her out. I wouldn't go hang out with her and her cousin though, I feel like it would just be plain awkward. I would wait and ask her out another time (just her). She obviously likes you if she is texting you and sending smiley faces and such. Don't rush it or seem too eager. I would just reschedule hanging out if I were you.
jefermelesyeux Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 people think that proper phrasing when it comes to asking somebody on a date holds more weight than it actually does. "let's do something," "let's hang out," "want to grab a drink?" "will you have dinner with me?" etc. they're all different forms of wanting to get together. the level at which you want to get together can come later. don't sweat it too much at this point. she agreed to hang out and whether or not the exchange was awkward, maybe she found it cute. who knows. focus on continuing to hang out and getting to know her. i see no evidence that you got "friend-zoned." besides- all relationships start as friends.
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