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I'm here :)

 

Actually my M is OK! Most people think it's picture perfect, I say OK because I'm having an affair, obviously it's far from perfect... But, the problem lies solely with me. My husband is great, great father, happy kids, I'm not justified. I'm not ignored, spoiled actually! I really think this is my ego. MM has so far been the one to show emotion. I ignore him for days because his pursuit flatters me, and yes I know how horrible that sounds! I do love him, I do fantasize about ending up with him someday but I would never let him see that. I also know very good and well that if he were to leave his wife tomorrow, chances are I wouldn't want him for much longer.

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My thoughts and plans change by the day. I'd say 60% of the time now I really feel like I'm over the whole situation. Sometimes I do try to "break up" with him but then I love it when he begs and pleads with me. Typing this out, and being really honest with myself like this...gosh I sound like such a sick disturbed person.

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