bluelight90 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Hello, I have been dating someone for over 2 years now and i care about him very much. Long story short, he still lives at home and his best friend is not in the best situation so he has been living with him for the past year and a half. I have a full time job, make good money for my age and i have my degree. He doesn't work right now and dropped out of school to pursue other interests but he is starting to look for work in the meantime. Its hard to get alone time since his best friend is always with us, i have expressed my unhappiness with this and he has somewhat worked on it although not as much as id like. In my mind we are going strong however recently he has decided he wants to move out and asked his best friend and their other friend who he has only seen once in the past two years to move in with him as well. He knows that i have been trying to move out of my parents home so i am confused as to why he didn't ask me. He cant drive right now so i drive to his house which is about 20 minutes away and I pretty much live at his house every weekend and am over maybe once or twice during the week. When i am there i pick up around the house since it is very messy sometimes and even help out buying some groceries when i can. My question is after two years is it clingy of me to be upset he asked his friends (who don't work) to move in with him first (he even offered to help his best friend pay his portion of the rent) ? Am i expecting too much out of this relationship? I am 24 and he is a year younger than me so is it just that he is immature and i need to wait for him to grow up? I guess im asking if i should continue and see where this relationship is going or am i paddling up the wrong creek? I am getting older and want to have a more mature and serious relationship and im not sure if i should wait for him for another year or so or cut my losses and move on?
Philosoraptor Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Well his actions are telling you he's not ready to take a step forward with you. He'd rather be in the company of his friends than his girlfriend of two years. Right now you are simply taking care of him. Doing all the work getting to him, cleaning his house, buying his groceries, and I'd gamble sleeping with him as well. Sounds like he thinks he has it made. Talk to him and figure out where his priorities are. If he's willing to work together to move forward, great. If not, then you need to decide what is best for you. To continue the same path you are on or break away from it.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 He didn't ask you because he isn't ready. If he wanted to take that step with you, he'd at least have have put the feelers out and tried to get your opinion on that. After two years, I think it's time to have a talk with him about where he sees the two of you going. What are his goals and priorities for the future? Is he interested in someday moving in together, settling down, etc.? There's no point staying in a relationship when you don't have the same view on these things.
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