Tayken Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 After that incident I e-mailed the guy a bunch of links on ED. You should have seen the angry e-mail I got in response ES...You have too much time on your hands Oh ...."The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein 2
kaylan Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 After that incident I e-mailed the guy a bunch of links on ED. You should have seen the angry e-mail I got in response Lol, I hope this is a joke. Because its sad if women take sexual rejection that seriously and get so spiteful over it. Though I do find it kinda humorous when girls are so sure they can get a guy, get rejected, and then get all huffy and butthurt about it. 1
Tayken Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Lol, I hope this is a joke. Because its sad if women take sexual rejection that seriously and get so spiteful over it. Though I do find it kinda humorous when girls are so sure they can get a guy, get rejected, and then get all huffy and butt hurt about it. Don't we all...especially when they think "all men want is sex", which takes us back to this thread. I must say though, it has to really suck going 527km for a booty call for 4 days, only to end up with nowt....that wasn't very nice on the fella's part
kaylan Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Don't we all...especially when they think "all men want is sex", which takes us back to this thread. I must say though, it has to really suck going 527km for a booty call for 4 days, only to end up with nowt....that wasn't very nice on the fella's part Like the ladies always say...no ones obligated to sleep with anyone. lol 3
OpheliaSong Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Maybe he just wasn't into it....maybe he had a gf on the side...maybe he had a bf on the side...maybe he thought you were a tramp for traveling all that way for booty call and you were desperate and therefore not quality...maybe he thought you were better looking with long hair and less weight...maybe he is a cross dresser and you were interfering with his social life....maybe he got religion....maybe he thinks you are a drunk....doesn't really matter now because you got to see beautiful Montreal and though you didn't get laid, if he didn't write it down and sign it, you can't say he advertised falsely. Tough luck, OP. That's why I paid for sex the last time...at least it was really a sure thing. 1
Tayken Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Maybe he just wasn't into it....maybe he had a gf on the side...maybe he had a bf on the side...maybe he thought you were a tramp for traveling all that way for booty call and you were desperate and therefore not quality...maybe he thought you were better looking with long hair and less weight...maybe he is a cross dresser and you were interfering with his social life....maybe he got religion....maybe he thinks you are a drunk....doesn't really matter now because you got to see beautiful Montreal and though you didn't get laid, if he didn't write it down and sign it, you can't say he advertised falsely. Tough luck, OP. That's why I paid for sex the last time...at least it was really a sure thing. Or simply.....may be like Maybeline, he was born with it 1
Leigh 87 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 After that incident I e-mailed the guy a bunch of links on ED. You should have seen the angry e-mail I got in response Haha! When my disappearing pr1ck of an ex suddenly reappeared, I told him "sorry, I prefer men who can last more than 30 seconds" 1
laylay305 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 something similar happened to me in my younger, more naive years. but, we did have sex initially. then he got more and more distant--began taking phone calls in private, stopped being physical...i did some "research" when i got home...found out he had a girlfriend. it sucks, but don't let it affect your self esteem. like most things, it probably had more to do with him and his preferences/issues than with you.
lucy_in_disguise Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I am surprised by the consensus that he must not be into her, or he would have put out. We always tell women to go at the pace they are comfortable with, but men don't have that option? I don't know if it's just my experience, but I have met MANY guys who legitimately wanted to take it slow. My last ex (whom I was with for 3 years) would not put out for 6 months. He still pursued me, and we had a great sex life after we started doing it. Some men, like some women, have a slower pace. It's not necessary to justify that, IMO. That said, if you can't respect that, it's clear you aren't compatible.
LoveAtWork Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I think if you made the effort to actually fly there after about 8 hours if something wasn't happening you should have been making a stronger move. Sounds like it was clear in your mind what you were going for, but was it in his?
LoveAtWork Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 The last kiss he did because he knew it was too late to lead any further. Lets classify it as an ego thing. He was not going to let you go thinking he was completely asexual. His taking things slow is an excuse. Shortly you will see him 'in a relationship with' someone new on FB. Great point.
JamesNZKiwi88 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Have you ever thought that the guy has never had a GF before or that you might be one of the 1st girls he's met. He might of seemed keen while txting but when it was time to meet, he got nervous and didn't know what to do. He might of thought being a nice guy was the right thing to and not to jump straight into things
Els Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Anyway, I don't think it was the weight or the hair. Personally it seems like something happened between the time you booked the trip and the time you went there. Most likely things heated up with another women or something along those lines. He felt it wasn't fair on you to cancel the trip so he went ahead. Notice how he changed plans and tried not to pick you up from the airport? That was a huge sign of things to come and it happened before he saw your weight gain or hair. Pretty much this, he'd already flaked on you before he even saw you. If he had been interested enough in you, there's no reason he would miss out on picking you up at the airport barring a real emergency. And THAT was the real douchey move, IMO, not the lack of sex, that he might legitimately not have been comfortable with. Probably best to chalk it up to a learning experience and let it go. 1
Author TOtiger Posted February 26, 2014 Author Posted February 26, 2014 Thanks for your replies, can't really pinpoint what exactly happened on his end and still no answer and I'm ok with that now. All I can be accountable is how I acted before, during and after the trip. I was upfront with him and honest about what I wanted from the trip. A nice time in Montreal - and that is what I got. I had a very chill, nice time there and he was a good host. It was completely platonic - him changing the plans and not picking me up at the airport set the stage from the beginning and I tredded carefully. I didn't act in a way that I regret, I didn't throw myself at him and feel overly rejected. I'm actually quite shy when it comes to being intimate with someone for the first time, and I was OK sharing a bed and cuddling with him at night. It felt comfortable and there wasn't the sexual tension I was expecting. I couldn't read him, and that's ok. I would of been totally content with the 4 days and his excuse of taking our intimacy slow - it was him jumping on top of me when I was leaving that was odd. It was way too calculated. He came in close, teasing a kiss, kissing my ear, my neck and moving in close. sitting on top of me where I didn't have anywhere to go. My original gut reaction was to push him off and I probably should of went with that, but because he was already there I too played with it and we intimately kissed before I left for the airport. It's like a monkey wrench that confused me for days after - even now I'm still scratching my head - but it really doesn't matter at this point I didn't get an answer from him, apart from him replying that we weren't going to argue about our interpretation of what is taking things slow or not. Sounded a little controlling and a bit more confusing on my end - but I left it there. Clearly there was an issue on his end to change his mind - it's not my place to fix it. It very much affected my ego, but that's my own problem. To have a man reject me, or what I interpreted as rejection, is something new. I'm definitely adventurous, and took a big chance of the heart to meet this guy who grabbed my attention 6 months prior. I don't regret going, because that's the type of girl I am - I'll take a risk and I've learned from this one. I can just walk away more accepting of myself and know it wasn't something directly about me - something external that I really have no control over
Author TOtiger Posted February 26, 2014 Author Posted February 26, 2014 my friends have also had some encouraging insights - it's now become funny, more than something for me to cry over. The best is maybe a bad flare up of herpes - sounds terrible - but it did make me feel better. 1
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