snappytomcat Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 this is about a friend not my situation a little back story,we all went to school together,grew up together,so I have known this couple since I was 16,im now in my 40s,and they have been together since 16,they have 4 kids,and never married,i did lose contact with them for a few years,we just all got busy,work,kids,etc,they don't live really close. anyways a few years ago,we reconnected on facebook,i saw pics of their family,they were always posting,our happy life together,they just looked happy,and both said it,but you never know unless you actually see it,but she told me they were always pretty happy,and the kids have all moved out. so right before Halloween,he told her,he was leaving her,and she said she deserved an explanation,and he said I don't have one for you. this is the point that we started talking on the phone,she was just so devastated,and I asked her do you think he might be cheating?(she doesn't know about my husband cheating only 2 close friends know)but it seems like someone whos cheating behaves like he did,she said she had no idea,that it was just out of the blue. she said their sex life was great,finances could be better,but they always did everything together. he wouldn't even talk to her,she saw on his facebook page that had all kinds of pictures of random girls,he didn't even talk to her on her bday,or the holidays. fast forward to new years eve,some guy at work asked her if she would like to go to a party with him,and she accepted,beacuse she said hes a very nice man,in the mean time her ex asked the kids,whats your mom been up to lately?and they said shes on a date tonite. well he called and texted her while on her date,thats shes a slut,a whore,a bitch,a lousy mom,and what kind of role model is she setting for their kids. of course she was devastated,but she said mostly she was confused.and she tried to ask him,but he was just very angry with her. she went out with the other guy on vday,and since then her boyfriend,has been begging her to take him back,he loves her,he doesn't want to lose his family.shes totally confused shes starting ic next Tuesday. so really the question iswhy do some men leave,and then when the wife/or gf start dationg someone else they all of a sudden want them back
NYWoman Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 Do not put all of the blame on the men. My OM convinced me that I was no longer in love with my Ex. That he was cheating on me, using me for my money, was smothering me, was too clingy. That is until I saw him with another woman. That is when reality hit me, and I realized they were all lies. I was desperate to get him back. It was too late
BetrayedH Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 It never ceases to amaze me how jealous cheaters can get. He wanted to go off and play single while she played the faithful (non-married) wife and mother role. Cake eater. Was she supposed to stay celibate after he dumped her? I certainly hope she moves on. If he can't even confess/explain his sudden departure then he doesn't deserve any attention whatsoever. 1
Author snappytomcat Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 It never ceases to amaze me how jealous cheaters can get. He wanted to go off and play single while she played the faithful (non-married) wife and mother role. Cake eater. Was she supposed to stay celibate after he dumped her? I certainly hope she moves on. If he can't even confess/explain his sudden departure then he doesn't deserve any attention whatsoever. I talked to her last night,he keeps sending her I love you so much texts,i just want to come back home(cry me a river)I also hope she doesn't take him back,but she seems really confused right now,and very fragile,and even her sister told her,he only wants back in because he found out you started dating
BetrayedH Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I talked to her last night,he keeps sending her I love you so much texts,i just want to come back home(cry me a river)I also hope she doesn't take him back,but she seems really confused right now,and very fragile,and even her sister told her,he only wants back in because he found out you started dating To be sure. Until he's ready to come completely clean about his hiatus, he's not truly remorseful and she shouldn't even entertain a conversation about any of it. What an idiot. Welcome to, um, you broke up with me with no explanation and it turns out that we're, um, broken up. 1
Author snappytomcat Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 To be sure. Until he's ready to come completely clean about his hiatus, he's not truly remorseful and she shouldn't even entertain a conversation about any of it. What an idiot. Welcome to, um, you broke up with me with no explanation and it turns out that we're, um, broken up. that's what I asked her did he tell you what the hell was going on with him?she said no,she does suspect cheating,but she thinks he had a few ons,its like she thinks ons stands are better or something. I always thought of her as a very strong person,with a good head on her shoulders,but she keeps defending his actions,but hasn't let him come home,which is good,just like our mc told me after dday,dont make any decisions in the state of mind your in you might regret it later,so that's what I asked her to do 1
Tayken Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 @OP..... I can tell you that it's the same reason "why some women do it too". They are commonly know as High Conflict person
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