ExposedBrick Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I wwnt on a first date with a nice girl last night. I probably wasn't bringing my A-game as I was rather fatigued. Anyway, we parted in a neutral fashion. I usually send a courtesy text along the lines of, "did you make it home safely?" Atypically, it yielded no response. Usually, I'd suggest a follow up meeting at that point but she never replied. Should I send another text requesting a second date or just let it go? Honestly, I wouldn't be very upset either way, I just appreciate both parties being upfront.
Candy_Pants Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 She didn't respond...that should be an indication she isn't going to.
mammasita Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 If she hasn't responded, I would let it go. If you had a good time though, I think you should have let her know instead of just asking if she got home safely. Not that it would have changed whether you got a response.....JMO.
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 It seems odd, why are people scared to be upfront?
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 If she hasn't responded, I would let it go. If you had a good time though, I think you should have let her know instead of just asking if she got home safely. Not that it would have changed whether you got a response.....JMO. Do you think it's too late to state I had a good time?
Ruby Slippers Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 It seems odd, why are people scared to be upfront? Some people just have no manners, or courage. I would never just ignore someone after meeting like that. The least she could have done is say it was nice meeting but she didn't feel a romantic connection. It is possible (though unlikely) that your text didn't go through. This happens between me and friends sometimes. Technology isn't perfect. But more likely is she just ignored you - which is really quite rude. The only consolation here is that someone who would do that isn't really any big loss.
mammasita Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 It seems odd, why are people scared to be upfront? I don't think its being scared, but more so "low stakes". It sucks, but what really does she owe you (I know, outside of basic human decency)? It's easier to cut your losses and keep it moving then to take time to let someone down who you know you'll never ever talk to or see again. People suck, but that's how it works.
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 So, you think it's a waste of time to proceed with any further requests? I suppose it's equally no risk on my hand, I can be equally annoying.
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I'd send the following text. You didn't answer my last text asking if you got home safely. I tried to contact you with telepathy earlier but that didn't work either. So I thought I'd shoot you another text just in case you missed the first one. If I don't hear back I'll assume you died and I don't date corpses. At least not anymore!! Done and done. Send that and tell us if and how she responds. Who cares anyway right? 2
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 I'd send the following text. You didn't answer my last text asking if you got home safely. I tried to contact you with telepathy earlier but that didn't work either. So I thought I'd shoot you another text just in case you missed the first one. If I don't hear back I'll assume you died and I don't date corpses. At least not anymore!! Done and done. Send that and tell us if and how she responds. Who cares anyway right? If nothing else, that would turn an annoying situation into a funny one.
SJC2008 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 It seems odd, why are people scared to be upfront? They're not usually ghosting out of rudenes,they're doing it because they're afraid to feel the awkwardness that comes along with rejecting someone. I admit it isn't easy to reject someone, but I power through it and try to let them down easy.
SJC2008 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I'd send the following text. You didn't answer my last text asking if you got home safely. I tried to contact you with telepathy earlier but that didn't work either. So I thought I'd shoot you another text just in case you missed the first one. If I don't hear back I'll assume you died and I don't date corpses. At least not anymore!! Done and done. Send that and tell us if and how she responds. Who cares anyway right? lol or something like "I haven't heard from you in 24hrs so I went to the police and filed a missing persons repor!" 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 You can try one more time but I doubt she is interested.
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 They're not usually ghosting out of rudenes,they're doing it because they're afraid to feel the awkwardness that comes along with rejecting someone. I admit it isn't easy to reject someone, but I power through it and try to let them down easy. I think it's pretty unbelievably easy to simply respond that your not interested. I always follow through. It's really quite easy to spend 2 seconds replying with a text. I wouldn't even really consider a single date a rejection, since there is no way the person really knows anything about me. I do get annoyed by someone not taking a brief moment to reply after I go out of my way to hang out with them.
deathandtaxes Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 It wouldn't hurt to suggest going out again. But be specific! Be assertive. Lead with "I had a really good time with you on our date. I Would like to see you again. Have you been to suchandsuchplace?" If she doesn't respond to that, then write off her off. I don't see anything to lose. It's just one text on your part that shows you're interested. 1
pickflicker Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I'd send the following text. You didn't answer my last text asking if you got home safely. I tried to contact you with telepathy earlier but that didn't work either. So I thought I'd shoot you another text just in case you missed the first one. If I don't hear back I'll assume you died and I don't date corpses. At least not anymore!! Done and done. Send that and tell us if and how she responds. Who cares anyway right? I definitely wouldn't reply to this...
Clemenza Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I wouldn't text, I would call. Leave a message if she doesn't answer. Then just leave it alone. That's if you really did have a good time, and she said something to express she had a good time and would like to do it again. Again, do not text. Just call her. I'm in a similar situation. I had a date a week ago, and before we parted we kissed (just soft pecks) and she said she wanted to go out again. She text messaged me 20 minutes later saying thank you and she had a great time. I text messaged her the next day wishing her a wonderful day. No reply was necessary. I called the following evening to try to schedule something, and left a voice mail. I had such a great time, and she verbally said she wanted to see me again, so I thought I'd try her again 3 days later (this past Monday). I left another voice mail. Now the ball is in her court and I'm leaving it alone. It's bizarre sometimes when someone expresses interest in seeing you again, then you never hear from them. Though I agree with other posters who said she doesn't owe you anything (nor does my date owe me anything), even though not leaving you hanging would be the courteous thing to do. Most people are afraid of letting someone down, so they just go into silent mode.
Author ExposedBrick Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Send the message about the corpse that the guy above mentioned or just say "Oh, well. It was really nice meeting you." I probably don't care that much. Not responding is childish and not really what I'm looking for. Truthfully, she seems kinda cool but really nothing exceptional. I'd give her another date but certainly not going to make an ass of myself for it. She initially reached out to me to get together anyway. So, maybe it's worth experimenting with until I find someone who really piques my interest.
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