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Posted

I am a gay guy in my early 20s.

I decided to start a topic here, mainly for myself. I like the idea of people reading it. So here there are, my thoughts, instead of being on paper and hidden away.

 

It's okay if you stop reading. I wouldn't find out about it anyway.

 

My ex-bf said our relationship is over about three months ago, in December '13. I had had a feeling that something is wrong - he seemed to be easily annoyed and disinterested since September.

 

When I hugged him for the last time, he said "next time, okay?". I just mumbled "Good bye" and walked away, not looking at him. As I was walking in the street, I cried on public for the first time. I tried so hard to hold back tears, but I couldn't stop.

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Posted (edited)

It was two months ago and since then I do cry a lot. It happens so sudden, whenever those memories of us come to my mind, whenever I remember my mistakes and faults. I cry when I am taking shower, watching movies, reading this forum.

 

Yet these last two weeks were really tough. I cried multiple times a day. I struggled with school, writing essays, and doing readings.

Edited by Tae
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Posted

I want to call him so much. I want him to say how much he misses me and how much he wants me back. Yet it is not going to happen, it is just a fantasy I have.

 

I still am thinking about calling him one day.

 

I wish you could slap my face and bring me to reality.

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