cybotron Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Well I just recently been trying out internet dating and seeing how it goes. I talked to alot of girls by phone and by email but nothing really clicked. Well I actually met one girl who was really nice and we talked for a couple of weeks by email. We exchanged numbers by email and we chatted a couple of times. We talked for hours and it was great. So we finally decide to meet up for dinner and drinks. We had a good time. I know I did and she said she did also. Well we went out on saturday and I waited 2 days and called her but got her VM. I left her a VM stating I enjoyed meeting you and had a great time and to give me call sometime. I haven't heard back. I know this girl goes to school and works like 2 jobs but she couldn't give me a call. I am getting the feeling that I was lied to and that she won't call me ever again. Some of my frends say maybe she will and that she has been very busy. My point is that this is happening a lot to me in that I never get a second date. Don't know what I'm doing wrong.
jgs78 Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Hey, I totally understand how you feel. Internet dating is a mixed blessing. It is great that you can meet someone at the drop of the hat and not have to rely on friends or worse, family to set you up anymore. On the other hand, it gives people more of an opportunity to be picky and flaky. Since you don't know the person, they feel as if they don't owe you anything until you two are in sync with each other and are sure that you want to be exclusive. I, too have had problems with internet dating and I have had the same problems that you have had where there seems to be a drought and no-one is responding to your profile. But here are a couple of suggestions, is your profile good? Have you had someone else look at it? Are the pictures that you have up there good pictures of you? I know it seems superficial and let's face it, it is, but pictures and what you say about yourself matter. Internet dating = first impressions. You have nothing else to go by, so you have to make sure that you do everything you can to attract people to you. Don't worry, you will get more responses it will happen. As far as this girl that you went on a date with, my advice to you is to just go with it. You have only been on one date with her, that's all. If she doesn't call you back, it is not the end of the world. I know that is a tough pill to swallow but the whole thing about dating is that while you should be excited about it and enjoy the good dates, you have to be prepared for the bad dates and being rejected as well. If you cannot do that, then you shouldn't be dating. You are not doing anything wrong except worrying. My other suggestion is to go out with more than one person so that you don't have all your focus and energy with that one person. Hang in there, you will find someone!
UCFKevin Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 It's my experience that a lot of people on the internet who want to date are only out to tease, play games and waste time.
ziggue Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 If I was still single I probably wouldn't Internet Date. The kind of people that are out there in Cyber Space Pretending to be something there not. Like what Kev says seems like a waste of time. One of my boyfriends mates met a girl through the net and she seems pretty decent. Guess it's pretty much down to luck. Especially if they live locally.
UCFKevin Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Definitely down to luck. There are certainly some great people to be met from those places but more over I'd say they're few and far between. I just said more over. I'm officially an adult.
Author cybotron Posted January 21, 2005 Author Posted January 21, 2005 Well you all make good points and I appreciate all of your feedback. I guess I'm not patient enough. Well I have been single almost a year. I had dates here and there but no chemistry. I guess it seems like I'm being a little too desperate. It's just it's so hard because all my friends are married or are in relationships and I'm single. Well I'm not going to give up and just go with the flow. Well I just got a response from the girl I went out with on Saturday. She sent me an email stating she had a good time too. She states she was sorry she didn't get back to me because she was very busy. She also says after a lot of thinking, she has come to the realization that she might not be totally ready to start this dating thing after all...But states would like for us to be friends. She thought I was cool and that we have things in common.... She says it's just a really weird time for me right now and i'd hate to include someone else in my drama. So that's her response. I like the fact that she got back to me but am confused in that (a.) This means thanks but no thanks. (b) Friends with benefits © Start off as friends then maybe develop into something more. She seems confused and actually I am too that's why I am writing this. I don't know what to respond with her email, as it seems kinda cold because it wasn't a phone call but by email.
tanbark813 Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 It means (a). You're going to weed through a lot of people in a short time while internet dating. If you can handle the rejection and not take it too personally, you'll be fine.
moimeme Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 I just said more over. I'm officially an adult. No worries. You'd have to spell it right to be an offiicial adult
tanbark813 Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme No worries. You'd have to spell it right to be an offiicial adult Ohhh.. He just got dealt wif.
VirginiaBob Posted January 21, 2005 Posted January 21, 2005 I use internet dating in conjunction with meeting people in real life. I actually met the ex-fiance through internet dating. Now, I'm basically using it as a supplement to increase my pool of women that I date. Probably 1 out of 10 people that I meet are really even worth my time. Rarely do they ever look like the pictures. Basically, here are some of the steps I take, which I doubt are perfect, but they work for me. 1. After 3 emails, ask or give your phone number. No more emails after this. 2. Talk on the phone just one time for no longer than 20 minutes. End conversation with an excuse, and ask if she'd like to meet you. (such as, "I haven't had a chance to eat yet, so I'd better go, but how about meeting in person. They generally always say yes, so set up a time and place to meet. By the way, always be the one to end the call. 3. Do something simple this first time like coffee or a casual dinner out. I've even just met for ice cream before at a dairy queen. They key is good conversation. Always be the first to get up and get ready to leave, but don't do this too hastily obviously. End with "It was nice to meet you, I'll call you" whether you are interested or not. 4. If you are interested, wait a few days and call for a 2nd date. This may sound funny, but I actually hope to call them and have them not answer and just leave the real quick "Hi, it's Bob, give me a call back at 555-5555". That way the ball is in thier court and you don't have to talk or give her another thought unless she actually calls back. By the way, at this point, you are not sitting by the phone waiting for the call, because you are so busy with dating and obtaining new prospects. These 2nd dates are always more promising. And you know what to do from here on out, I'm guessing. And finally, keep a notebook or folder on everyone you talk to. It is so easy to mix people up. Right now, I'm talking to 3 different Sarahs, 2 different Katies, 2 Jens, etc. so it gets confusing. It helps to print out the emails and put them in a folder. I even keep conversation logs and take notes while talking to them on the phone. Good luck.
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