KathyM Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 I agree with the posters that are saying that she was probably looking for a daddy figure that could provide the financial support and stability that she was looking for. Or she decided that the total package (money, security, success) was a good deal for her, so she was willing to overlook the difference in age in order to get the perks that you had to offer. She sees you more as a father figure/provider, than as a contemporary or a sexual partner. Very few women would be interested in dating or having a relationship with a man 23 years older than themselves. It would be like having sex with your father or your father's buddies. Not appealing to most women. 1
KathyM Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 Another possibility would be that she has unresolved "daddy issues", meaning that her relationship with her own father was lacking in some way, so she is looking to older men to replace what she was missing from her own father. The love, acceptance, or physical presence that she never got from her own father. My niece had dated a man 27 years older than her for a few years for that very reason, but she eventually realized she wanted someone who she felt more compatible with for the long term, and is now about to marry a man her own age. Since you said you are wealthy, successful, and have been very financially supportive of her, I'm guessing she's with you because you are providing her with the financial support and security that she felt she needed for herself and her child, and so she was willing to overlook the age factor. But you can't buy attraction. She just isn't attracted enough to you, or she doesn't think of you in sexual ways because of the huge age difference, and that is why the sex has fallen off.
experiencethedevine Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 This^^. You've given her everything she needs/wants. Are you sure she doesn't have a younger guy on the side? Absolutely sure? Oh for goodness sake! Is there really any need?!?
Lei Ping Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 (edited) I'm new to this but need great advice. I am a 51 man that is fit and considered attractive. 1 1/2 years ago I meet a 28 yr old beautiful lady that has a 2 yr old daughter which I consider my own. We have a lot of intimate moments and love each other very much. I own a prominent music business and have been a well known musician all my life. 6 months ago I asked her to move in with me. Helped her get a great job and I have been paying all the bills and even provide her a great car. She has a degree and is one of the smartest women I know. problem is, our sex life started great but after moving in has declined to sometimes once a month. I know their is know one else in her life and she doesn't want anyone nor do I. I just want more. I have a very high libido and l look at it as a release as well as intimate. I know I satisfy her and can be a marathon man when the time comes. It's hard to list it all on here but, what can I do?. I try to be romantic, spontaneous, planned, playful and flirtatious. I tell her how beautiful she is everyday and take her on trips. Any ideas to kickstart our sexual relationship back in gear!! 51 is young. I remember being 51 once. What is happening in your relationship is either one of two things. It is possible that since she moved in and you are providing for her every need her inner prude doesn't want to give the impression that she's "selling herself" and so her affection for you is shifted to asexual expressions. This is a subconscious occurrence and talking to her about it may not help. You're not married so therapy would be a waste of time. The other possibility is that she is using you and doesn't feel that she owes you anything more than a monthly maintenance screw to keep her end of the bargain. In either case you should start preparing yourself for the breakup when she can afford her independence. Go out and establish potential relationships to ease the impact of the impending split. Whatever happens you should continue to be a friend since there is a Child involved and not allow any not-so-nice feelings between the Adults to affect the Child. I am friends with most of my "Exes" and have watched the Children of the ones who had them grow and took pride and satisfaction in my role in their development. 2 is a fun age and the stability of a home with a Man and a Woman in it who care for her and each other is priceless. Whatever you do, don't complain about the sex or she may just cut you off altogether. I complained about my 1st Wife's cooking once. Once. If the sex thing is getting to be a real problem for you I'd suggest discreetly going out and getting that taken care of with safety as a 1st priority and then coming home and being as loving and supportive as you have been all along and hope for the best while preparing for the worst. Good luck. Edited February 22, 2014 by Lei Ping
KathyM Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 51 is young. I remember being 51 once. Let's call a spade a spade. 51 is middle aged. Very few 20 somethings would be interested in a middle aged dude, unless they were looking for a daddy figure or someone to provide financial security. What is happening in your relationship is either one of two things. It is possible that since she moved in and you are providing for her every need her inner prude doesn't want to give the impression that she's "selling herself" and so her affection for you is shifted to asexual expressions. This is a subconscious occurrence and talking to her about it may not help. You're not married so therapy would be a waste of time. The other possibility is that she is using you and doesn't feel that she owes you anything more than a monthly maintenance screw to keep her end of the bargain. In either case you should start preparing yourself for the breakup when she can afford her independence. Go out and establish potential relationships to ease the impact of the impending split. Whatever happens you should continue to be a friend since there is a Child involved and not allow any not-so-nice feelings between the Adults to affect the Child. I am friends with most of my "Exes" and have watched the Children of the ones who had them grow and took pride and satisfaction in my role in their development. 2 is a fun age and the stability of a home with a Man and a Woman in it who care for her and each other is priceless. Whatever you do, don't complain about the sex or she may just cut you off altogether. I complained about my 1st Wife's cooking once. Once. If the sex thing is getting to be a real problem for you I'd suggest discreetly going out and getting that taken care of with safety as a 1st priority and then coming home and being as loving and supportive as you have been all along and hope for the best while preparing for the worst. Good luck. Cheating on a partner is never the right answer. Either accept that the relationship is a mismatch and end it, or go to couple's counseling and work on the issue. Although counseling is not a miracle cure that would create a physical attraction that is not there due to the age difference. You are not married to her. It's probably best to leave if you are having these kinds of incompatibility issues. When she's in her 30s and the OP is in his 60s, her level of attraction will likely be even less.
Salvatore85 Posted February 22, 2014 Posted February 22, 2014 There's plenty of beautiful women with great sex drives around your age, why the need for such an younger female?
gaius Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 I've found women around your age attractive before and been very turned on by interacting with them. So there's no real reason a younger woman wouldn't be turned on by you. You're getting a bit of a raw deal in this thread about that. That being said, it does sound like one of those situations where the woman has traded sexual excitement for comfort and security. That can happen with a couple of any age though. I guess you'll just have to decide if she's still worth it without the sex.
BeingMe Posted February 23, 2014 Posted February 23, 2014 However, studies have shown that women often feel neglected and taken for granted by their husbands. Neglect is cited as the #1 reason why women divorce. It isn't violence, substance abuse, or infidelity. It's neglect. The husbands take her requests as nagging, and a vicious cycle starts where she isn't getting her emotional needs met and then doesn't feel like meeting his... then no one is happy. This rings true for me. Physical intimacy also = emotional intimacy, if I don't get BOTH then I don't want the physical stuff. I need emotional openness and mutual vulnerability. I also need to feel an equal partner (so, men, doing the chores together and chatting about both our days is part of a big turn on). Make me feel wanted, loved, valued for myself, for my mind (and not just as a housekeeper or convenient body)...then I get hot 1
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