Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Ok, so my guy friend whom we will call (Mike) has told me he loves me, tried to kiss me etc. He basically always let it be known he liked me more than a friend, or at least a hookup, and I told him I just wanted to be friends, and he seemed ok with that, but even in a attitude voice he said "Did you just friendzone me?" But he still talked to me after that. Then out of nowhere he kinda stopped talking to me. Then my other guy friend whom we will call (Jack) is a big mouth. He is worse than a woman and is a big gossip, but Jack is known for setting me up on horrible dates, lol! So Valentine's Day was coming up and I knew Jack was going to set me up with someone or try to, and to prevent that I said to Jack that I am dating someone. Well all of a sudden like a week later Mike messaged my mom on Facebook and said this "I knocked at your door at 6pm last night. I was int he area, and thought I would stop by. I had my daughter with me and I know how much you guys wanted to see her. The car was there but I guess nobody was home?" My mom replied to the message saying this "Oh no! I am so sorry Mike we missed you! We would have loved to see your baby girl! Nobody was home cause Sara(which is me) got the car stuck in the driveway, and so Sara left before her dad came home, cause she didn't want to hear him yell at her, lol! But you should have called or texted someone and at least you could have waited inside until someone came home" He didn't respond to the message, and he is all over Facebook and he is the type that responds, trust me, and I don't get he's in the area? Like wtf? He lives like 15 mins away from me! He lives in the same area. Also too he didn't call me to let me know he was coming over. Then the next day he says on his Facebook that he's in a relationship. This was completely out of nowhere, and he mentioned a guy I use to date on his FB he said "I guess I will hanging with Kyle since Jessica can't figure out her plans" He always told me he hated Kyle, but yet he was hanging out with him? And I found out from a friend that he didn't hang with Kyle at all that night. This is all seems weird! And it was a guy I use to date. So...he still isn't contacting me, but I am thinking that Jack told Mike that I was dating someone, cause it seems like ever since I said that I was dating someone, Mike started doing all of this. It seems like a fake relationship, just to get back to me or something? Like he posted on FB saying "I want to take my daughter to Disney on Ice, i'm pretty sure she'll love that!" and his supposed girlfriend commented and said "We're going March 8" He said "Who is" That doesn't sound like a bf and gf, and honestly they are not acting like it at all. I just want opinions. What do you guys think? Do you think he got all jealous and weird? Do you think it's a fake relationship? I just want opinions, thank you!
Zahara Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I'm not sure why your panties is in a knot when you only want to be friends with him. I am sure he's acting passive aggressive because his ego is hurt, and he's probably feeling like he needs to redeem his ego by acting unaffected by your rejecting him. Let him be. He'll come around when he accepts the reality of how you feel about him. But why are you so bothered as to whether he really is with someone or is faking it? Why are you stalking his FB and feeling so affected by what he's saying and if he is in a fake relationship? 3
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 I'm not sure why your panties is in a knot when you only want to be friends with him. I am sure he's acting passive aggressive because his ego is hurt, and he's probably feeling like he needs to redeem his ego by acting unaffected by your rejecting him. Let him be. He'll come around when he accepts the reality of how you feel about him. But why are you so bothered as to whether he really is with someone or is faking it? Why are you stalking his FB and feeling so affected by what he's saying and if he is in a fake relationship? Because deep down I really like him and want a relationship with him, but I am unsure if that;s what he wants out of me. I know for a fact he wants to have sex with me, but is that all he wants? Just a friends with benefits? I can't have that type of relationship with him, cause I would be hurt. On the other hand I don't know if he does want a relationship with me. I am so confused about him, that I figured I should just wait it out and just be platonic friends for now, cause I don't want to get hurt. I am trying to protect my emotions. I am just curious though what people thought and if people think that he is just doing this cause he's jealous? or what? But thank you for answering!
Zahara Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Mike tells you he loves you, tried to kiss you, told you he likes you more than a friend -- but you are unsure what he wants out of you? What has he done to show you that he could possibly only want sex or is out to manipulate you? What makes you doubt other than fear?
TB Rhine Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) If you wanted a relationship, you shouldn't have played games, spurned his declarations of love, basically made him feel like the guy in the friend zone (the worst possible fate for a heterosexual guy, akin to emotional castration), and so on. You're just reaping what you've sown at this point. Maybe he was in the area and stopped by, maybe he wasn't. Maybe he's really in a relationship now, or or maybe he isn't. In any event, if you honestly want something with this guy, you're going to have to stop playing high school (heck, more like middle school) games and be straight up with him. What is sounds like to me is that when this guy was chasing you, you weren't into him; now that he's ignoring you, suddenly he's all you can think about. At the same time, though, you're setting up a future excuse to (publicly, I'm guessing) reject him once he *does* start mooning over you again, by passively aggressively portraying his messages to your mom, etc. as potential stalker behavior. Again, cut the teenage silliness and just talk to the guy. Or better yet, leave him be, and save him from a trumped-up stalking charge a few weeks from now (or worse yet, being duped into marrying you in a few years and raising some other guy's baby). Edited February 19, 2014 by TB Rhine 1
pteromom Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Because deep down I really like him and want a relationship with him, but I am unsure if that;s what he wants out of me. I know for a fact he wants to have sex with me, but is that all he wants? Rather than have internet strangers try to interpret his actions, why not ask him? I mean, how would WE know if his gf is real or fake or what he wants from you? Only he knows that. So call him. Ask him if he meant it when he said he loves you. If he says yes, ask him what that means for him and what he'd be interested in. Go from there. If you don't talk to him about it, you will be choosing to let him walk away. 2
Keenly Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 The logic. ' I like him, so I rejected him "
StanMusial Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Nothing is wrong with him LOL. Sometimes I am amazed at the trait some women possess, that enables in them the belief that their current mood/emotion/inclination is the driving force behind the universe and all and any out of phase with it are abnormal. That and the ability to hold two diametrically opposed concepts as true in their brain. Even though I have seen it all of my life. 1
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Mike tells you he loves you, tried to kiss you, told you he likes you more than a friend -- but you are unsure what he wants out of you? What has he done to show you that he could possibly only want sex or is out to manipulate you? What makes you doubt other than fear? Cause he messes around with other girls, and even though my friends said he treats me differently than those girls and he does, I am still on the fence. I have been hurt many times by guys in the past, and I am just trying to be protective of my emotions. Like I don't know if he is manipulating me into thinking that there is something more when in his head there might not be, or I don't know if his feelings are genuine and he really does look at me as girlfriend material.
Emilia Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Cause he messes around with other girls, and even though my friends said he treats me differently than those girls and he does, I am still on the fence. I have been hurt many times by guys in the past, and I am just trying to be protective of my emotions. Like I don't know if he is manipulating me into thinking that there is something more when in his head there might not be, or I don't know if his feelings are genuine and he really does look at me as girlfriend material. Ok then your instinct is probably right and shouldn't date him. Take him off your facebook, etc if he bothers you this much. Move on and forget about him.
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 If you wanted a relationship, you shouldn't have played games, spurned his declarations of love, basically made him feel like the guy in the friend zone (the worst possible fate for a heterosexual guy, akin to emotional castration), and so on. You're just reaping what you've sown at this point. Maybe he was in the area and stopped by, maybe he wasn't. Maybe he's really in a relationship now, or or maybe he isn't. In any event, if you honestly want something with this guy, you're going to have to stop playing high school (heck, more like middle school) games and be straight up with him. What is sounds like to me is that when this guy was chasing you, you weren't into him; now that he's ignoring you, suddenly he's all you can think about. At the same time, though, you're setting up a future excuse to (publicly, I'm guessing) reject him once he *does* start mooning over you again, by passively aggressively portraying his messages to your mom, etc. as potential stalker behavior. Again, cut the teenage silliness and just talk to the guy. Or better yet, leave him be, and save him from a trumped-up stalking charge a few weeks from now (or worse yet, being duped into marrying you in a few years and raising some other guy's baby). What are you talking about stalking? Do you mean him or me that's stalking? Cause i'm not stalking him! He's on my Facebook, and I am not even on it that much and I saw his posts but I am not excessively stalking his page or anything. It's what I see on my news feed. Unless you're talking about him stalking, then maybe. I am not trying to play games with him. I am just trying to be friends with him and I told him that, but he seemed ok with it, and he still talked to me, but then he all of a sudden distanced himself and started all this immature crap on Facebook ever since I said I was dating someone, cause my other guy friend always sets me up with douchebags and I just didn't want him to set me up with someone. I am just extremely protective of my emotions, and I am just scared if I were to give in, that he wouldn't want anything out of me. So, with that said that's why I always kept him at a friend level, cause i need to see where this goes, but yes I do have feelings for him, and it's hard for me. Thanks for answering!
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Rather than have internet strangers try to interpret his actions, why not ask him? I mean, how would WE know if his gf is real or fake or what he wants from you? Only he knows that. So call him. Ask him if he meant it when he said he loves you. If he says yes, ask him what that means for him and what he'd be interested in. Go from there. If you don't talk to him about it, you will be choosing to let him walk away. I understand. I just wanted opinions on this situation. I just wanted to see what other people say. I am not looking for advice, but thank you!
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Nothing is wrong with him LOL. Sometimes I am amazed at the trait some women possess, that enables in them the belief that their current mood/emotion/inclination is the driving force behind the universe and all and any out of phase with it are abnormal. That and the ability to hold two diametrically opposed concepts as true in their brain. Even though I have seen it all of my life. Sorry I kinda comprehended that. LOL! You need to be more simple for me, haha! But I see that there is problems on both sides, I am not saying I am innocent, I know I play a part, but I just wanted opinions on this situation, and to see what people think, cause I kinda find the stuff that he's doing is weird. Anyways, thanks for commenting!
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Ok then your instinct is probably right and shouldn't date him. Take him off your facebook, etc if he bothers you this much. Move on and forget about him. I really do wish I can Emilia, but it's really hard cause I do like him so much and I am just in a bind. I don't know what to do. Thanks!
Keenly Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Sorry I kinda comprehended that. LOL! You need to be more simple for me, haha! But I see that there is problems on both sides, I am not saying I am innocent, I know I play a part, but I just wanted opinions on this situation, and to see what people think, cause I kinda find the stuff that he's doing is weird. Anyways, thanks for commenting! You don't seem to be grasping that he is not the one that is behaving weird, its YOU that is. 1
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 You don't seem to be grasping that he is not the one that is behaving weird, its YOU that is. I guess I am not grasping that cause I just seem protective more than weird, and by that I mean protective of my feelings. But who knows. Like I said I know I play a part in this. But I think everyone is kinda veering off what I original asked, and what I asked was Do you think he's in a fake relationship? Do you think he's trying to make me jelaous? etc.
Keenly Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I guess I am not grasping that cause I just seem protective more than weird, and by that I mean protective of my feelings. But who knows. Like I said I know I play a part in this. But I think everyone is kinda veering off what I original asked, and what I asked was Do you think he's in a fake relationship? Do you think he's trying to make me jelaous? etc. In all of my life I've never known a man to play such ridiculous games. 1
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 In all of my life I've never known a man to play such ridiculous games. What's that suppose to mean? lol like are you saying that for real? Or are you saying that like in a sarcastic kind of way? I am not saying this in provoking, aggressive way I am just wondering if you are saying this in a sarcastic way or not, lol!
Keenly Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 What's that suppose to mean? lol like are you saying that for real? Or are you saying that like in a sarcastic kind of way? I am not saying this in provoking, aggressive way I am just wondering if you are saying this in a sarcastic way or not, lol! I'm serious. I've never seen a man play the "make her jealous" game. Usually men don't play stupid games like that. 1
Zahara Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Cause he messes around with other girls, and even though my friends said he treats me differently than those girls and he does, I am still on the fence. I have been hurt many times by guys in the past, and I am just trying to be protective of my emotions. Like I don't know if he is manipulating me into thinking that there is something more when in his head there might not be, or I don't know if his feelings are genuine and he really does look at me as girlfriend material. You have two choices: 1) If your instincts are telling you that he is no good, then listen and walk away. 2) If you really like him, the communicate. You can't reject the guy, then question his reactions because you're the one playing games and feeling insecure about dealing with what's infront of you. 2
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 I'm serious. I've never seen a man play the "make her jealous" game. Usually men don't play stupid games like that. I know! He does play games like that, cause I remember awhile back he wanted make a girl jealous and he was posting crazy ****, like what he's doing now. I think it's immature too. 1
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 You have two choices: 1) If your instincts are telling you that he is no good, then listen and walk away. 2) If you really like him, the communicate. You can't reject the guy, then question his reactions because you're the one playing games and feeling insecure about dealing with what's infront of you. Yeah, you're right! I can't keep on rejecting him and denying my feelings. I guess though it's because I am ok with just being friends with him for now, but him acting like this is putting me off even more, cause I don't know if he is really doing this to make me jealous? Or if he is really in a relationship , but like I said it doesn't add up. It's weird. But yeah, I understand. Thank you!
Zahara Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Yeah, you're right! I can't keep on rejecting him and denying my feelings. I guess though it's because I am ok with just being friends with him for now, but him acting like this is putting me off even more, cause I don't know if he is really doing this to make me jealous? Or if he is really in a relationship , but like I said it doesn't add up. It's weird. But yeah, I understand. Thank you! I think before you go about figuring him out, it would be best to figure yourself out because you're all over the place! 2
TB Rhine Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 What "crazy ****" was he posting again? Oh right, he said hi to your mom, and indicated he had a girlfriend. The guy's obviously a psychopath. Proceed with caution.
Author Purple_Haze Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 What "crazy ****" was he posting again? Oh right, he said hi to your mom, and indicated he had a girlfriend. The guy's obviously a psychopath. Proceed with caution. Well he messaged my mom on Facebook saying that he knocked at our door, and when she replied to him, he didn't reply back and it probably was because my mom said "Sara (me) left before her dad came home cause she didn't want to hear him yell at her for getting the car stuck, lol!" It was later on that same day he posted he was "In a relationship with Jane Doe" LOL! that's not her name, I am just trying to keep this anonymous, but you get what i'm saying. Mike in the past to make his ex jealous was posting crazy **** like incessantly posting and putting this other girl on display. He was just saying how happy he was, how much he is so in love with this other girl etc. I can't quite remember. I just remember him telling me he was just doing that cause his ex got a boyfriend so quickly, and he was like flaunting this other girl, but he truly didn't like her. Which was wrong, cause he toyed with her emotions, and I told him about that. He seemed to have felt bad when I told him he shouldn't have done that, but I don't know, He might not have. All I know is it seems to be the same cycle with me. What's different though is that he's not putting this girl on display, he's not posting about her, or putting up pics of her, etc. Like he did with the last girl. He only made like 3 posts about "Jane Doe" but that was it. There was a pic of them kissing, but then he removed it, and if you are boyfriend and girlfriend then why remove it? That's what makes me think he is jsut doing this for me to contact him or to get at me. Who knows, he might be a psychopath, I am not sure, what I am sure of though is that he's immature and needs to ****ing grow up cause this is middle school ****, lol!
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