Kimmmm Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years we meet each other while I was in High School but for the past 7 months I've been in college in another state and he stayed in New York to finish his degree. We basically have not seen each other for 7 months and it's really hard I mean all we do is talk on the phone and send each other pictures. So we talk about him coming here to see me sometime in February when I have no school and he also has no classes. But the problem is that he is paying all his bills on his own and feels like he doesn't have the money right now to come to see me and for him the 200 dollars is not a big deal, all he has to do is go into his account or use his credit card to purchase a ticket to come to see me, but he is one of those people who believes in not owing a dime he says if he doesn't have the money he will work for it and he wants to finish paying off my Christmas present before he starts charging anything else on the card. I offered to pay half of the money he refuses and tells me that, he doesn't feel right and he would not feel like a real man if he has to let me pay for something like that. I've tried to mail him the money but he will not accept it. I am vary sad about this situation I mean, I really miss him and he misses me too so why can't he just take the next flight out here and come to see me? Maybe I am overreacting but honestly, I don't feel like I am ( or am I ). He says we have to just wait and as soon as he gets all the money together he will be here with me. And if we look forward to him coming and get all excited and anxious we might "jinx" things (oh whatever). But this is the only chance we have FEBUARY and that's it. If we do not see each other next month we wont be able to see each other until June or July. This has been pissing me off so much to a point where I get mad just talking to him. I mean 200 dollars big deal . This guy spent more than that on my Christmas present I even offered to send it back so he could get a refund because the gift doesn't mean much to me I JUST WANT HIM. Please just let me know what you think. I wish me going back home was an option but it is not at least not until December. I would appreciate any advice
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 While responsible saving and spending are very good things to be in the habit of, it sounds like he is doing that - but is thankful for the handy excuse. The other things he is saying is making it sound like he is content with keeping you at a distance - and also trying to keep your hopes from being too high: if we look forward to him coming and get all excited and anxious we might "jinx" things I commend your guy on wise money habits - but I can't help but to see that it appears to be a convenient cover for his real intentions. Have you discussed going to go see him? If you did, what was he reaction? He may be too thrifty to come see you - but what if you suggested a splurge to come visit him?
freethought Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by Kimmmm I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years we meet each other while I was in High School but for the past 7 months I've been in college in another state and he stayed in New York to finish his degree. We basically have not seen each other for 7 months and it's really hard I mean all we do is talk on the phone and send each other pictures. So we talk about him coming here to see me sometime in February when I have no school and he also has no classes. Hi I have to say, as much as it might hurt, somethings up with this guy I think. The money doesnt sound to be like its the problem...and frankly...call me a romantic ..but I think that when in love people will climb through hell or high water to see one another. Be careful, Im in a LDR now where I have delt with a lot of excuses not the same as yours but similar. Theres no excuse not to see you....You would do it for him...so why should you have to compromise and deal with that emotional pain of feeling rejected or alone because you are not getting a return in the relationship? Think about it a bit .
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