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should i try to get it back from my ex?


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Posted

hey! ok this sounds really silly but i need to ask you guys what you think i should do!

Ok i broke up with my boyfriend and its been a couple of months since. I'm going to make this short,...both of us were in university, and while we were dating, i had lent him one of my textbooks. I wasn't using it because it was from a class i had already taken. Basically i'm wondering if now that we have broken up, if should try to get it back from him, because one of my friends is taking that class now and could use it. My ex wouldn't be using it anymore because he is finished that class. Do you guys think i should try to get the textbook back or forget about it?...I don't remember how much it was worth but i could sell it after my friend is done with it.

 

Its not like i gave it to my ex as a gift or anything, i just lent it to him. I don't want him to think that i'm using the textbook as an excuse to talk to him. What should i do? Should i bother?

 

I was thinking of just emailing him about it and asking him if he could mail it to me or drop it off at the front desk at school or something like that. any suggestions?

Posted

could you have a friend ask first, then if that does not get the book, then personally ask.

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Posted

no because none of my friends are friends with him! they all hate him!! haha

Posted

You forget about it.

 

Because, it is an excuse to talk to him. You want to see how he is doing.

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Posted

its not an excuse to talk to him i swear!! i don't really want to see him to get the textbook back, because if i see him i'll get all emotional and start to miss him again and i'll be back at being a wreck just like when we first broke up. Thats why i was thinking of getting it back by telling him to mail it to me or leave it at the front desk at school or something.....meh

Posted

Concrete Rose: I hate to contradict you, but your comments make it sound like you DO want to check on him - the fact that you have the potential to become emotional, as you've indicated, should send you a message that communicating with him will reopen feelings you might not want reopened.

 

Even if you have him drop it off somewhere or something, you still have to call him or email him to make the request, and that opens a dialogue - what if he responds, asks how you're doing, tries to relate to you on an emotional level? Can you ignore that? Do you want to ignore that? Think this through before talking to him - if you really don't want to reconnect with him, it seems like this wouldn't be worth it.

 

Cut your losses and let your friend by his or her own textbook.

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