Author AuG913 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Thank you too sweetie. I hope that doesn't happen to you. You seem like a nice girl just immature and a little spoiled. Stop looking to get validation for your hoe like behavior and accept yourself and you will be just fine. And you couldn't handle me I would mentally destroy you inside of a week. FYI I'm glad you took my advice to heart however. To reciprocate I also took yours. Source: Urbandictionary dot com Hoe 1. A skank 2. A woman that is loose in the booty. 3. Woman or man that will f*ck anything with two legs. 4. A promiscuous person. Awwwww...coool
FrustratedGuy91 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Someone once told me a great phrase that applies here. It translates to something along the lines of: "If you don't know where you're going in life, don't bring anyone else along for the ride". In your place I'd try to stop seeing both men and focus on yourself. Also, see how long can you last without both and who do you miss the most. Also, if what you did wasn't wrong. Why is it that you feel so bad about it? 1
Barbarossa Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 It's understandable that you want to use your ex for sex I have an ex I despise that gave me some of the best sex of my life. You should give the new guy a shot maybe he's not bad in bed? Worst case scenario you use the new guy for relationship stuff and your ex for the dick.
FrustratedGuy91 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 It's understandable that you want to use your ex for sex I have an ex I despise that gave me some of the best sex of my life. You should give the new guy a shot maybe he's not bad in bed? Worst case scenario you use the new guy for relationship stuff and your ex for the dick. Are you an evil mastermind?
Barbarossa Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Are you an evil mastermind? Lol what did you find to be evil? I was just giving my opinion but if need be I can sugarcoat and give you the unicorns sh*tting rainbows version. 1
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) Are you an evil mastermind? Bleh had to edit this one out. Nothing to see here. Edited February 19, 2014 by LEEVIT2F8
FrustratedGuy91 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Lol what did you find to be evil? I was just giving my opinion but if need be I can sugarcoat and give you the unicorns sh*tting rainbows version. Yup, you like Palpatine evil... Not judging, just envying you... 1
peruano99 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) I see myself being in a relationship with the new guy which is why I feel so bad. Yes, I haven't moved on from my ex but I want to take my time and I do not want to let go of this new guy. What......................? You can't be serious, be honest with your new boyfriend if you want this to work out. Don't just hide it because he is "new", an affair is an affair, no matter if it is with an old bf or not. Edited February 19, 2014 by peruano99
Author AuG913 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 What......................? You can't be serious, be honest with your new boyfriend if you want this to work out. Don't just hide it because he is "new", an affair is an affair, no matter if it is with an old bf or not. He is not my boyfriend....Someone I see as a potential bf.
kaylan Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 You see yourself in a relationship with someone, yet you went back to your EX on maybe impulse? You should really just cut both ties with these men, take the time to truly figure yourself out. You are in a deep state of confusion right now and in no way ready for a solid relationship. This. Id prefer to not date a girl who cant stay away from an ex...especially one who didnt treat her well. Sort yourself out first OP. 2
Author AuG913 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 It's understandable that you want to use your ex for sex I have an ex I despise that gave me some of the best sex of my life. You should give the new guy a shot maybe he's not bad in bed? Worst case scenario you use the new guy for relationship stuff and your ex for the dick. Nice advice...
Sivok Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 All's fair game if you're not exclusive. Do yourself a favor though and move out of that apartment building. You don't seem to have the restraint to avoid communicating with him completely, and the last thing you want is to bump into your ex when you're with your new guy. He says he wants to get back together with you 'eventually', so who knows what kind of **** he might pull if you're bringing another guy around. Personally, if I was in that new guy's shoes and knew how much baggage you're still carrying... I wouldn't get serious with you - and if you do become official with the new guy with that ex still around the vicinity, it's just a matter of time before he finds out.
Noproblem Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) Hey, I really don't care about the other guy. I really care about what you did. How could you? How could you have sex with someone who cheated on You How could you let him touch you after touching all these other girls and breaking your heart over and over again You are way too nice and you don't know how much you worth That's why you prefer a cheater over a nice guy because deep down You feel you don't deserve better. But, You deserve better. It's hard but step on your heart and go away from anyone that does not appreciate you. By the way don't let past experiences change you Don't become a cheater like your ex You are better than that. Edited February 19, 2014 by Noproblem 1
isisisweeping Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Lol what did you find to be evil? I was just giving my opinion but if need be I can sugarcoat and give you the unicorns sh*tting rainbows version. I'm guessing the part where you suggest actually using people. That kind of sucks. OP, you made a mistake and if you're not in a relationship with the new guy, it's probably your choice whether to tell him. It would probably end it. Maybe have an official relationship? If you like him so much, why hold off?? Especially if you don't want the freedom to return to your ex again. If you're really not over your ex, don't hold him on reserve waiting. That is not really a great thing to do to someone. Cut all contact with ex. Obviously it brings you nowhere good. Good luck.
peruano99 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 He is not my boyfriend....Someone I see as a potential bf. A nice guy who treats you right, you don't want to sleep with him.... A boyfriend who cheated on you, you want to sleep with him. 1
Emilia Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I'd be always suspicious of someone who lived in the same apartment building as an ex they had major issues with. Why not move out? I doubt you own your place. Weak boundaries, as evidenced in this thread.
Trep Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Technically, you didn't cheat if you aren't exclusive with the new guy. Doesn't change the fact that he has a right to know you slept with your ex while you two were dating. I guarantee you if you continue dating him without telling him and he finds out in the future what you did, he will dump you.
Zahara Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 It really speaks of your emotional and mental state if you still want to sleep with a dirtbag that cheated on you several times. The fact that all it took was talking and a kiss to have sex with you is a clear indication that you are nowhere near capable of giving anyone any sort of investment. When I found out my ex cheated on me, YUCK YUCK YUCK I felt my skin crawl. You? You go back and spread for him. Where is your self-esteem? Where is you dignity? What do you have to offer someone in terms of a healthy and present AuG913? You state there is no way to break contact because you live in the same apartment block. BS. If you set the boundary for no contact because you want nothing to do with him, you can have no contact. YOU WANT CONTACT. Second indication you are not ready for any sort of relationship. Be single. A cheating partner can cause deep emotional and mental trauma. And you claim you aren't over your ex. Don't use the new guy as a rebound or someone to fill your void. Focus on yourself and heal. You're no good to anyone if you are emotionally, mentally and physically somewhere else.
Imajerk17 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Nah, I am not a dirty little slut. I haven't slept with anyone other than my ex in my life and it was not like I was horny and missed my ex's dick. We were talking and then he ended up kissing me and one thing lead to the next. But I understand where you are coming from. See here (the bolded) is where I disagree with you. One thing didn't lead to the next, you MADE A DECISION to have sex with your ex. It just doesn't sound like you are really ready to be dating anyone else. 3
Zahara Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 One thing didn't lead to the next, you MADE A DECISION to have sex with your ex. ^^^ This ^^^ Take ownership that you wanted to have sex.
SYLLPalmer Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Thank you too sweetie. I hope that doesn't happen to you. You seem like a nice girl just immature and a little spoiled. Stop looking to get validation for your hoe like behavior and accept yourself and you will be just fine. And you couldn't handle me I would mentally destroy you inside of a week. FYI I'm glad you took my advice to heart however. To reciprocate I also took yours. Source: Urbandictionary dot com Hoe 1. A skank 2. A woman that is loose in the booty. 3. Woman or man that will f*ck anything with two legs. 4. A promiscuous person. In the interest of posterity and linguistic integrity please note: Urban Dictionary is not a reputable source for etymology. The accepted meaning of the word "hoe" among the masses (and not just uneducated slackers who believe that anything written must be true) is: hoe [countable] a garden tool with a long handle, used for removing weeds (=unwanted plants) from the surface of the soil —hoe verb [intransitive and transitive] 1
SYLLPalmer Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Rough crowd. A lot of hypocrisy I suppose. Nevertheless, IMO, the answer most likely lies with your age and level of experience. It is really not a big deal that you flopped back to the ex. The fact that you chose him for sex indicates that you no longer have an investment in him. Why do I say that? Sex is a risk factor for abandonment where women are concerned. So not giving sex to someone you actually like, although ass backwards, makes sense amidst the backdrop of the screwed up, double-standard societal construct we all perpetuate. We are all to blame not just you OP. I would sweep it under the rug and see where it goes from here. The dogmatic implication that you are a slut is not the opinion of all here. You are a young women sewing your wild oats. Unfortunately one does need a penis to circumvent the label slut were likewise conduct is concerned among the sexes. In 2014 the vagina is subject to archaic scrutiny. Best to just to ignore it. Eventually it will blow over. As always practice safe sex or the requisite damage control where your body is concerned. Keep your side of the street safe and clean and hopefully you will meet others with that integrity. Peace 1
Author AuG913 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Thank you SYLLPalmer.... Reading some of the comments here, I realize there is this notion that it is ok for men to sleep around and do as they please but if a woman did that or had sex with an ex (whether he was a cheater or not), she is immature and stupid. If a man sleeps with a cheater ex, then his buddies would high five him and tell him 'use that hoe for sex'. I guess that is what our society has taught us. I know I was only trying to over justify what I did and I understand I am not ready for a new relationship. And yh...I should have never had sex with a cheater. I have already cut all ties with my ex and gonna be focusing on myself. Maybe I did need this encounter to realize that I should really cut all ties with my ex and to get it out of my system that the relationship is dead and over and I should move on. Maybe in the future if things work out, I'll give it a try with this new guy. I know I have been an emotional wreck since the break up which is why I told the new guy I don't want to have sex or be in a relationship with him because I do fear he might cheat on me and break my heart as well.
Author AuG913 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Smh...girls these days. So you don't want to sleep with this guy that actually likes you and has treated you well so far but you will split your legs wide open for the douchebag that cheated on you multiple times. You deserve your own misery. Just because he is treating me nice doesn't mean I should sleep with him. As much as it is wrong of me to sleep with my cheating sex, I don't see your point of why I should have sex with this new guy until I am ready to do so.
Author AuG913 Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 ^^^ This ^^^ Take ownership that you wanted to have sex. Yes I missed my ex and the great times we had even though he cheated and I wanted to have sex with him. I posted this because I feel bad for doing it and letting it happen. I am not trying to say my ex caused it. If so, I wouldn't feel bad about it as it wouldn't be my fault.
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