kaylan Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) I know being a good friend is being able to listen and accept people for who they are. But I find it terribly hard to listen to my friends when they do things in dating or relationships that I dont agree with. When my friends tell me about things that sound shady, deceitful, or like cheating, I just wanna have nothing to do with them. Or at the least, not listen to them with they confide in me. That kinda ish brings me down and keeps my far away from ever wanting to commit myself to anyone I date. What to do? I figure its best to just not talk about these things with them if I wanna keep a friend group. Because nowadays it seems most people do crap I dislike...be it sleeping with multiple people and not being upfront about it...or lying to their significant other about silly things...or even cheating. And I really cant stand when people are like "we only kissed, and I didnt let it get further than that." At least I commend those Ive known in my lifetime who have at least owned up to their mistakes and come clean to the other person afterwards. Edited February 19, 2014 by kaylan 4
tlegend Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 At least I commend those Ive known in my lifetime who have at least owned up to their mistakes and come clean to the other person afterwards. It's a lonely road, but I don't live a lie. In the end, it will be a benefit to me to have lived truthfully. (Notice how I did NOT say righteously.)
tlegend Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 when smart / professional fishermen go out to sea, do they use rods to fish or nets? spending 5 hours to catch a minnow would be disappointing when you can cast a net and hopefully catch a good one along with the 14 minnows I.......are you replying to the wrong thread perhaps?
soccerrprp Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 I know being a good friend is being able to listen and accept people for who they are. But I find it terribly hard to listen to my friends when they do things in dating or relationships that I dont agree with. When my friends tell me about things that sound shady, deceitful, or like cheating, I just wanna have nothing to do with them. Or at the least, not listen to them with they confide in me. That kinda ish brings me down and keeps my far away from ever wanting to commit myself to anyone I date. What to do? I figure its best to just not talk about these things with them if I wanna keep a friend group. Because nowadays it seems most people do crap I dislike...be it sleeping with multiple people and not being upfront about it...or lying to their significant other about silly things...or even cheating. And I really cant stand when people are like "we only kissed, and I didnt let it get further than that." At least I commend those Ive known in my lifetime who have at least owned up to their mistakes and come clean to the other person afterwards. kaylan, how old are you? if very young, unfortunately, your age group is the culprit in the abysmal state and perspective on dating for so many. people say that teens/20s are the years to "experiment", "have fun", sleep with as many people as you can....it's mostly irreverent BS. Not everyone in that age group is interested in playing games. I know, I was never interested in playing games and cheating and finding one partner for another during my teens or 20s. These friends are the reason why people get hurt and always will. The teens are a impetuous and irresponsible time, but don't let anyone fool you into thinking that it has to be that way, that it is inevitable circumstance of the times. Many, many teens and 20-somethings make it through w/o being immature and reckless. It sounds like you're one with a head on his shoulders. Don't buckle to crassness and deceit to find love. This applies no matter what your age is.
Author kaylan Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 his friends are multidating theres nothing wrong with it Did you read the entire post? I am fine with multidating. I am not fine with people to lie or deceive when dating. And Im definitely not ok with cheating once committed.
Author kaylan Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 do they have rings on their fingers? Lack of rings doesnt mean people should be liars and cheaters.
Sivok Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Yeah, I share similar sentiments. I tend to be very straightforward with the girls I'm dating regarding my intentions. A lot of people don't. I have a friend who's horrible at confrontation so when he's ready to leave a relationship, he'll start cheating and just distance himself from his current girl. It drives me up the wall because it completely conflicts with the way I view women and dating, but hey - his dating life has nothing to do with why we're friends. I just make a note not to introduce him to my single friends .
Author kaylan Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 (edited) way to avoid like a woman i had high hopes for you when you posted your sick and tired of women treating you like **** for being nice to them... guess you havent been hurt enough yet.... you should research hypergamy and women... women just hide their cheating better then guys and better at lying and gaslighting rest assured their girlfriends know... they can sense it 100xs better then guys can quality women dont stay with cheater men... so theres nothing to be mad about What are you going on about? This about about men vs women behavior. This is about people being sh!!ty to one another and wanting me to listen to their personal issues when I have no interest in that negativity. You have a habit of missing the point of threads. No where in my OP did I target a particular gender. So reevaluate your responses. Edited February 19, 2014 by kaylan
farva2 Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 My best friend is pretty much the worst when it comes to dating. Objectifies women, uses them, would cheat on them etc but the dude pulls girls in. Would I let the guy date a friend of mine? Not over my dead body but I love the guy and have a blast hanging with him, I just kind of laugh at all of his stories now. Best way to handle it is to just accept it and if you can't then just stop talking to them.
Woggle Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Just tell them not to bring it around you. One of my best friends from childhood deals drugs and he knows to not bring it around me plus he only deals weed. I don't associate with cheaters though because if they can betray one person they will betray me plus most cheaters I have know would have no issue sleeping with a friend's spouse. I trust my wife fully but simply the fact that a friend would try it is enough to get him cut off.
BradJacobs Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Don't act like a friend to people you aren't friends with. Problem solved.
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