Sweet Fox Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Hi everyone <3 cliff notes: rebound for newly divorced intj woman, my infp self sadly loves her when we were at our best together. She's in NC with me and I'm still having a difficult go with things at times. Sadly I've texted her and emailed her a couple of times here and there. Obviously not helping me move on. Here was my last one...it's pretty pathetic so go easy on me. On top of that it was poorly written out and weak. She has her doctorate and I'm sure she wasn't pleased or didn't even bother reading it. Situation is complicated but I guess I have to start somewhere so this is me reaching out for help. My biggest concern at this point is getting my life back together. Possibly why this is hard for me. Worst thing is I should have dumped her and started NC for the way she treated me and manipulated me in the beginning of moving in together. I then might have had the chance to have a healthy relationship with her down the line plus make her accountable for her actions towards me. I just read our hangouts from the beginning (end of August forward) and it made me a bit nostalgic. It made me think of how sweet we were to each other, so excited et. all and then times when we were like that in Oregon. I miss reading to you in bed and having you fall asleep in my arms on my chest. Hearing you lightly snore and setting your alarm for me in the morning. The fact that the relationship was never what it could've been from the start. That I could find someone so different from me made me want to be a better person *when we were at our best* Outside of feeling ashamed of myself, I guess I'm also happy. Now I'm that much closer to love...at times you made it too easy. Whip smart, I guess..Some days I wake up so happy for life, possibilities endless. Other times, I wish I was never born. Maybe that's not true but sometimes it feels like it. Just have to look within and follow my passion, work harder/smarter and love with less conditions. Crazy how fast things change huh. I know it's silly and unproductive of me writing you but deep down I feel like there's a sweet owl who can hear a fox or moose rustling in the forest. Where they may have been lovers in another life.. Hope the trees are keeping you good company in California. She works with trees at new job in different state...advice please? I know this makes me look bad. TL:DR We had a whirlwind romance, LDR and things were amazing. She changed right before we finally were supposed to move in together. Moved in together *I moved to a diff. state for her and to further my organic farming* and she was not the same girl. But when she was, it was the most amazing relationship I ever had. Problems I have: Still have framed photos of her she sent me, read our gmail chats when weak, look at photos yet she wants nothing to do with me.
Philosoraptor Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 "Problems I have: Still have framed photos of her she sent me, read our gmail chats when weak, look at photos yet she wants nothing to do with me." Solutions I have: Trash or store away (possibly with a friend to keep out of reach), delete them, and stop. Simply enough you are torturing yourself. "Worst thing is I should have dumped her and started NC for the way she treated me and manipulated me in the beginning of moving in together. I then might have had the chance to have a healthy relationship with her down the line plus make her accountable for her actions towards me." No, your actions do not cause manipulation. You may have shown her you weren't willing to accept it, but it doesn't change the fact that she is a manipulative person. Be thankful the relationship ended sooner than later so you weren't fighting this battle 5 years from now. You can't change her behavior. You can only control your own. If you end up with a manipulative person in the future don't "stand your ground" to try and set things in a better direction; just leave. You can not change a manipulative person. Also, delete her number. It's worthless to you, in fact, keeping it is doing nothing but extending your pain. You wouldn't hold your hand on a hot oven after it burned you... would you? 1
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