YummyMummy Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 My kids are 2 and 5 and the only male role model they have is my dad who, to put it nicely is a pain in the arse!!! But, thats another story! I dont want to be on my own forever, but have been thinking of my kids so have not got involved with any man since their dad left 16 mths. Should i always put the kids feelings first and stay single or date, if i find the right man?
alphamale Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by YummyMummy My kids are 2 and 5 and the only male role model they have is my dad who, to put it nicely is a pain in the arse!!! But, thats another story! I dont want to be on my own forever, but have been thinking of my kids so have not got involved with any man since their dad left 16 mths. Should i always put the kids feelings first and stay single or date, if i find the right man? you should date but be picky and don't introducte any men to the kiddies until you think something serious is going to happen.
Merin Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 <<Single Mom 2 Wee people.. 7 & 4 You're STILL a person even when you're a Mom.. Be selective of who you date.. Make sure the person you date is all okay with you having kids.. Don't introduce your wee people to people you feel pretty certain aren't going to be around, know what I mean? Be respectful of your kiddo's feelings.. Don't expect ANY guy to "play Dad" When making your introductions say "This is Moms FRIEND" unless or until YOU know where the relationship is going or is at. A happy Mom (person) IMO makes a better Mom (person) Good Luck
alphamale Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by Merin A happy Mom (person) IMO makes a better Mom (person) A m0m who is getting laid also makes a better m0m. He he
surfergirl Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Well, not being an expert or anything...but I've been a single mom for 3 yrs and you can balance the two. I don't put anyone in front of or above my child...she will always be number 1. Having said that, there are men out there that respect that and have no problem dating a single mom. I don't bring them home to meet her because I don't want her to become attached and then hurt if things don't work out. Mommy has dinner with "friends"...that's all she needs to know for now. Don't deny yourself some fun and a night out....you deserve it. Good luck! sg
Author YummyMummy Posted January 19, 2005 Author Posted January 19, 2005 Thanx all. Good advice. Especially u surfergirl cheers xxx
Barby Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Great advice Merin! I don't have kids right now (want to wait a bit) but I do believe (having been raised by a single mom who did NOT date much to "spare our feeling" and "keep us (my older sister and me) from getting attached then hurt") I believe (like was said) you should date but make sure this person is worth introducing him to your kids, exactly (like said) don't expect any man to "play daddy" and if and when you do introduce them to someone, (as said) introduce him as your friend. I think that you should start dating again, be careful, but don't "stop" living just because you're a mom...
alphamale Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by Barby Great advice Merin! I don't have kids right now (want to wait a bit) what do you mean BARBY? From your pic it does not even look like u are ovulating yet!
Barby Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale what do you mean BARBY? From your pic it does not even look like u are ovulating yet! Hahaha! WHY OH WHY do i keep getting this? hahaha! I AM 24!!!! I've had 2 miscarriages and don't want to have that kind of heartbreak again! Plus now I'm just back in the dating scene and don't want to bring kids in the world until I'm in a HEALTHY stable relationship!
savethedrama4allama Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale what do you mean BARBY? From your pic it does not even look like u are ovulating yet! For christ's sake she's 24 and married! Would people lay off Barby PLEASE
Merin Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama For christ's sake she's 24 and married! Would people lay off Barby PLEASE ASS-U-ME.. Assume... To make an ass of you and me.. :Merin recommends waiting when it's possible to be in a healthy good relationship BEFORE you have little people: HOWEVER IF your kiddo's Dad and you can't work things out.. OR ya know he just turns out to be a ****ER.. Moms are STILL entitled to a life.
Author YummyMummy Posted January 19, 2005 Author Posted January 19, 2005 well we didnt have kids straight away. we waited til we were living together n stable! my ex left after 5 yrs together, for an 18 yr old! if it werent for that we would still be together as i was very committed to us and our kids. i could not read his mind and tell he werent feeling the same. otherwise i would not of had kids and put myself in the situation of being a single mum of 2!
Barby Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 if it werent for that we would still be together He was a jerk that should have been honest about his feelings! Honestly you're probably better off without him! otherwise i would not of had kids and put myself in the situation of being a single mum of 2! Oh no, please don't think when I said..... Plus now I'm just back in the dating scene and don't want to bring kids in the world until I'm in a HEALTHY stable relationship! That in anyway it was in referrance to you, it was made to another poster...sorry! No one can know what WILL happen, so you having children in a relationship that didn't work out, is nothing to regret (Not that you do). If it hadn't been for my 2 miscarriages (one in my abusive marriage, and one with my ex Oscar) I would have been stuck with jerks in my life (the kind of guys NO kids deserve to have to call "dad") So that's why I mentioned being in a "stable, healthy" relationship (meaning for myself in the future). I'm sorry you were left for someone else but that lady did you a favor by ridding you of a loser who probably would have left down the line if not in that incident...
tiki Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 yummymummy...of course you should date! What greater gift can you give your little people than the gift of love?
Author YummyMummy Posted January 19, 2005 Author Posted January 19, 2005 oh no barby that wasnt aimed at you, sorry. just wanted EVERYONE to know that i was in a stable relationship not just gone n had kids with anyone! your right im better off without him, he beat me and my son. sorry to hear bout your miscarriages, i have been there.
tiki Posted January 19, 2005 Posted January 19, 2005 Show them how happy you can be! I was a single mom until a month ago, I just got hitched. I found *the one*!
soccorsilly Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Hold the phone....wait a minute...no one is coming outright and saying it... everyone is pussyfooting around.... Moms have sex? How is that possible?
Merin Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Originally posted by soccorsilly Hold the phone....wait a minute...no one is coming outright and saying it... everyone is pussyfooting around.... Moms have sex? How is that possible?
imjustagirl Posted January 20, 2005 Posted January 20, 2005 Moms have sex? How is that possible? I'm gonna be the first to say this........EEEEEWWWWWWW (shudders at the thought of her mom having sex)
Topper Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 very good advice about keeping the little ones out of the relationship until things look pretty firm. When they are young and you are dating is one thing. When the kids are older, in their teen years It is a whole new ball game. The teens may not want to admit that mom is having sex. In fact the thought that their Mother has a sex life could be down right revolting to them. No matter how hard you try to hide your sex life, deep down inside they know something is up. It isa lot harder to keep them out of the loop at That stage in their life. A new man in their Mothers life can create a lot of resentment and anger. I'm not sure how to deal with this? since I am of the age that I'm dating woman in their late 30s to late 40s. I'm facing this more and more. A Great many of these woman have kids that live with them most of te time. The one woman that I was seeing did try to keep things under cover by only getting together when the Kids were staying with her ex.
edbravo Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Frankly, do both….be a mum and be a single women who still needs romance and companionships. Eventually if a guy falls for you, he is willing to accept whatever you are!
RecordProducer Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I think children benefit from a happy mother. They also benefit from a BF who loves them and treats them well. Don't introduce them to a guy you're not in a relationship with. They suffer from a mother who neglects their needs because of her lover. They suffer from a lover who treats them (or their mother) poorly. They suffer when the mother is broken-hearted and in a bad mood because of her love problems.
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