STM206 Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Is it the fact that you were "left behind"? Is it the fact that they somehow became a complete stranger (ie; they don't care, don't want to talk to you, act as if you aren't a factor?) Is it the memories? Is it being scared of the future without them? I know all of these reasons can apply, and every day as you absorb the reality if the break up, different reasons trigger your "setbacks" I'd like to make this thread so whenever you're having a bad moment, day or week. You can come in and explain what might be bothering you that exact moment.
Author STM206 Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 Today it's setting in a little more for me, I still wake up with anxiety in the mornings. The hardest part is trying to avoid thinking of the good memories together. It seems like "everything" reminds me of him in some way. It drives me nuts... Especially since I've lived here since I was 10, and I almost get scared to even want to to out. Even to go out to the bar with friends, all reminds me of him since we did our partying/bar phase when we first met.
flightplan Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 It's probably the indifference she had in her voice during the break up call and the cringe I feel now about how I groveled to get her back.... but the real thing that bothers me now, in hindsight, is the trust I had in my judgement. I question my ability to judge the situation and should've known better. It's not so much what she did, it's what I failed to see. I was blinded by emotion and ignored red flags. I know it's human, but I'm working on improving my ability to trust my judgement again.
Philosoraptor Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Back in the day what triggered me the most was looking back and seeing how much time I wasted, and how much different my life could have been, had I just looked at the facts and thing objectively instead of emotionally convincing myself that a spade wasn't a spade.
brokeNlost Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 probably the memories still haunts me. Still thinking about the time we spent together and deciphering if she ever really love me or did she just wanted to use me. I been drinking and gambling a lot trying to fill the void she left.
lakerman34 Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 My grandma watches The Queen Latifah Show. Yesterday, she gave away a trip to Costa Rica. The girl JUST got back from Costa Rica about a month ago. That stupid car commercial with the hamsters(?) that plays Lady Gaga's "Applause." The girl told me that song is her life's anthem. Whenever I watch a REALLY good movie, because for the past 14 months, my "relationship" with this girl was whenever one of us would watch a movie we loved, we'd tell the other about it. ANYTHING New York or Martha's Vineyard, because that is where she is from. ANYTHING London related, because she is a HUGE anglophile.
Gemini x Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Mine is because he just up and left me. He blames me saying I broke up with him (which is total bs) and he hasn't even tried to look back. That hurts the most. I can totally see him telling everybody I dumped him, which lets him off the hook. He told me I was the only one he's wanted to marry since his divorce 15 years earlier. He didn't even fight for us. Things got hard and he just let it fizzle out and ran away. There's no words to describe my heartache. Today, I don't even want to be in this world at all. My pain is almost unbearable. My sadness is overwhelming. I'm in complete agony and he seems to be doing fine and it's not fair. Not after I was so good to him for so many years only to have him end it by doing me so dirty. Playing Black Ops 2 and UNO on the 360 because those were "our" games that we played together. Almost every hip hop song I listen to because we'd lie in bed while the radio was on. Everything seems to be a trigger for me because we shared everything over the last 3 years. The new cell phone I bought, and am currently using, was bought with him. Certain clothes he helped me pick out. Certain food places that we'd frequent. I'm in total misery today and feel like closing my eyes and just giving up. He's everywhere and I can't do anything about it.
purplehues Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I really think it's the stranger part for me along with all the unanswered q's. It will be a month on 2/20 and we've had no contact. And though I've been doing a lot better, I still miss her a lot and really wish I had more clarity about what happened…oh well, it is what it is. As for the environmental triggers--"oh, that's where we kissed that one time; that's where our first official date took place; oh, there's a car that looks like hers; man, she would really like this song/movie/joke"…It's endless. We used to watch sunrises together, so those are a real bummer too. At least I get to enjoy them with my pup, thank God for him
uku383 Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Every time I see her, talk to her or get a text / email. I can't avoid this contact because of our son. Whenever I see my son. Going to our house. The news, which reminds me of things we'd talk about. Seeing couples holding hands. Babies. It's paralysing. Someone told me that it will take at least two years to get over this. I'm just trying to survive each day.
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