Gaeta Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Do you want to take a chance that he has a micro-penis and then that's what you have to deal with for the rest of your life? I dated a man once that wanted to wait 5 months to have sex. I was willing to wait 3 months top. Sex is TOO IMPORTANT in a relationship to leave it to chances. It's the glue that will hold everything else together in your relationship. Look, when the sex is good people find ways to make their relationship work. When the sex is bad people experience emotional distress and the relationship is doomed most of the time. It's THAT important. 1
soccerrprp Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I agree with so many others here. It simply is not reasonable to wait 5-years and insanely impractical for him to think that you will.
mammasita Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Let him find someone who is willing to wait 5+ years to make babies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with YOU because you don't see things the way he does. Would I want to wait 5 years to have sex? HELLLLLLLL NO. Do I think you should? HELLLLLLLLLL NO. Of course this is your decision, but I think you'll find yourself sad, upset, frustrated and just generally resentful if you stick with this guy (who I think has issues).
emva07 Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Let him find someone who is willing to wait 5+ years to make babies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with YOU because you don't see things the way he does. Would I want to wait 5 years to have sex? HELLLLLLLL NO. Do I think you should? HELLLLLLLLLL NO. Of course this is your decision, but I think you'll find yourself sad, upset, frustrated and just generally resentful if you stick with this guy (who I think has issues). And mind you, there's no guarantee that at the end of the tunnel there is the prize of the babies. He may be like "thanks for waiting...but you're not the one. Changed my mind. Sorry toots"
soccerrprp Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I have been talking to this guy for a good amount of time, and we really have hit it off. We have a dope connection and just enjoy each other and make each other happy. He, however wants to move very slowly. I am 19 and he is 26, but he wants to be with me and only me, that if it doesn't work out between us he won't date anyone else because he needs to focus on his life goals, and putting his energy towards something huge. He tells me that he wants to spend his life with me, that I am his favorite person on the planet, and I even ask him if he is serious and not kidding about that (I have had men tell me that they want the world with me and then disappear after) but he says yes he is very serious. There are times when we would sext and send each other photos, but he says that he wants to take sexual things very slowly though. He told me that he wants to wait until he is ready to have kids (5-10 years) to have sex with me. I do have somewhat of a problem, I want to wait but only having sex to make a baby seems so... unrealistic to me at this point. He says that focusing his energy on something more creative is more important... Everything else about us is so on point and perfect, but that kind of makes me worry. Am I being immature? Is this something I can try to work through? Is intimacy that important in a relationship? Intimacy is paramount. It sounds like it is for you! Agree to this absurdity is tantamount to putting your life on hold for no reason at all. Move on or let him know that his suggestion is not consistent with your idea of a relationship.
RonaldS Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I don't trust guys who don't want to have sex. 1
FitChick Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 You met him once and he doesn't want sex. He is a platonic friend. If that's what you want fine. If not, date others.You can still keep him as a friend. I think he is either gay or waiting to have his gender reassignment surgery. 2
peruano99 Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I have been talking to this guy for a good amount of time, and we really have hit it off. We have a dope connection and just enjoy each other and make each other happy. He, however wants to move very slowly. I am 19 and he is 26, but he wants to be with me and only me, that if it doesn't work out between us he won't date anyone else because he needs to focus on his life goals, and putting his energy towards something huge. He tells me that he wants to spend his life with me, that I am his favorite person on the planet, and I even ask him if he is serious and not kidding about that (I have had men tell me that they want the world with me and then disappear after) but he says yes he is very serious. There are times when we would sext and send each other photos, but he says that he wants to take sexual things very slowly though. He told me that he wants to wait until he is ready to have kids (5-10 years) to have sex with me. I do have somewhat of a problem, I want to wait but only having sex to make a baby seems so... unrealistic to me at this point. He says that focusing his energy on something more creative is more important... Everything else about us is so on point and perfect, but that kind of makes me worry. Am I being immature? Is this something I can try to work through? Is intimacy that important in a relationship? 5 years? Well you should try to change his mind or break it off with him.
OpheliaSong Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 If you have only met once, you don't know him. He sounds like a manic fanatic to me, but then anyone who doesn't want to have sex except for procreation unless it is for really devout religious reasons wouldn't seem very stable to me anyway. Have you ever had a gay guy best friend before? Now, you may have one.
aussietigerwolf Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 He wants an ow and thinks if sex isn't involved then it isn't cheating? He's gay?
Author shvrk Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 He is clearly a virgin. First to post this? It's obvious to me. He is putting the act up on some godly pedestal because he's basing these things on his sexual education. Wow this really stuck out, you think so? Should I ask him about it?
Author shvrk Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 He wants an ow and thinks if sex isn't involved then it isn't cheating? He's gay? OW? What's that?
Author shvrk Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 5 years? Well you should try to change his mind or break it off with him. I've decided to try to talk to him about it. We're supposed to discuss it some tonight. Hopefully I can convince him otherwise I'm out
Author shvrk Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 You met him once and he doesn't want sex. He is a platonic friend. If that's what you want fine. If not, date others.You can still keep him as a friend. I think he is either gay or waiting to have his gender reassignment surgery. Nooo, he definitely made it clear that he wanted to be with me, not share me, etc, which I why I was a bit confused.
Tayken Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Gives a whole new meaning to zero down , zero % interest for 60 months Mind you....While stock lasts 1
FitChick Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Nooo, he definitely made it clear that he wanted to be with me, not share me, etc, which I why I was a bit confused. So because he is celibate (and I agree that if he's not gay, he's a virgin), you have to be, too, even though you never spend time together. I think both of you have been reading too many romance novels. Join the real world.
Sivok Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Believe it or not, there are many self-starters and entrepeuneurs who adhere to the concept of 'sexual transfer' where you refocus the energy from your sex drive in pushing harder in your business/goals. I think that may be his point of view... But that also means he can't orgasm in anyway whatsoever. Any idea if he masturbates? Because if he does, he's feeding you alot of bull 1
Author shvrk Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Believe it or not, there are many self-starters and entrepeuneurs who adhere to the concept of 'sexual transfer' where you refocus the energy from your sex drive in pushing harder in your business/goals. I think that may be his point of view... But that also means he can't orgasm in anyway whatsoever. Any idea if he masturbates? Because if he does, he's feeding you alot of bull Exactly! & he actually claims to refrain from having an orgasm when he masturbates...
Sivok Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Well, there's another study that shows refraining from orgasm for a week will result in a temporary 45.7% testosterone boost for a couple days before your levels go back to normal. If he's worried about appearing more assertive and aggressive in his business goals, it may actually be in his best interest to spend one day a week for sexual relief - whether that be sex with you or masturbation. Plus, as a guy, your pipes are going to clean out regardless of whether you want to or not. Either as a by product of your urine or through wet dreams.. I'd much rather take the weekly sex route
TB Rhine Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 smartest guy on the planet.... ive dropped this bomb before.... too bad 0 guys on this forum understand how powerful saying something like this and actually enforcing it on a woman is seed planted(check)... watered(check)... sit back grab a beer and watch it grow Hah... brilliant!
SoleMate Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Is there any chance he could be running a subtle reverse psychology mind control thing on you?
Author shvrk Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Is there any chance he could be running a subtle reverse psychology mind control thing on you? Oh god I hope not.
Author shvrk Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Well I talked to him about it and it just turns out he's very dramatic and says that it may not be that long, just a few times when I get back on birth control, but we can still mess around until then So... very, very, dramatic.
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