StringsAttached Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 No disrespect to any female on these boards. Falling for a broken girl is the worst experience I have ever endured. I have been in many relationships and at one point was extremely happy. I was 'The Happy Wanderer' (for those of you have seen The Sopranos). Now, unless you are an absolute saint and are willing to get trodden on and have your self-esteem annihilated. When a woman tells you she has issues - BELIEVE HER. When she tells you her ex's are bastards and abused her - ask questions! When she tells you she hated men for a long time and made them fall in love only to break their hearts. For fun. Well you know... Trying to white knight her and save her from her misery will destroy you. I was in an on and off relationship with a recovering heroin addict with a BPD and an extremely troubled childhood. She made me feel sorry for her situation and wanted me to save her. She played the damsel in distress, when the only thing she wanted was attention and a leg up so as to confirm the belief that she can use perfectly good men for her own personal gain. She found God but she never changed. I initially fell in love with her because she was very attractive but later I didn't care...I loved her for who she was. These types of women at first will agree with every single thing you say. Everything. They will try to become that ideal mate. You will feel as if you have so much in common with this person and they will make you feel like the greatest thing since Baywatch and fall in love with you in no time-flat. Only to lose interest in you just as quickly and throw you away. They will flash you around saying 'look how handsome and lovely my bf is, he's the best'! They will use you for their own nefarious purposes and as their emotional crutch all while draining you of your life's essence. They will never be happy. YOU can never make them happy. They will never give you full closure, they will tell you what you need to know and remove themselves from you. If you come back they will take you back if they are single (whether as lovers or friends). If they are taken. Better believe you're dead to them, no matter how deep of a connection you thought you had. These women are intelligent. They know right from wrong. They know that they have hurt you but that's as far as it goes. They might show signs of remorse here and there but they don't give a flying **** if you're happy or not. Read the signs. If you feel as if you're walking on landmines and that nothing you do can make your girl happy. Dump her ass and RUN. There are sane women out there. Because sooner or later she will dump you when you're at your most vulnerable and then pretend like you never existed. It's a sad truth...but I have become my ex and I am to her what her 'horrible exes' were to me when we together... I'm recovering. You have been warned.
Woggle Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Being the knight in shining armor is one of the worst mistakes a man can make. A healthy man should seek out a healthy woman and vice versa. 4
Author StringsAttached Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 Being the knight in shining armor is one of the worst mistakes a man can make. A healthy man should seek out a healthy woman and vice versa. Definitely. Looking back now I can't believe what I had become...people warned me, she doesn't need saving but I couldn't say no to those eyes.
Caliguy30 Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Dealing with breakup from girl who after reading about BPD seems to fit right into the things I've dealt with my whole relationship. Every time my needs came up, she would lose interest. Found out my dad has cancer, which I've been dealing with pretty well for me and since then she's kept me at arms length doing the whole push pull business. She will tell me she wants me one day then the next or possibly hours later say the complete opposite without even interacting with me. Once I learned about BPD I blocked her number and am trying to move myself away from her. I didn't even know there were people out there like this. Things started off great then she sabotaged everything no matter how nice I was or helped her thru things. She's on her own now or at least she is not allowed to be with me so good riddance and go mess with some other guy.
Author StringsAttached Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 Dealing with breakup from girl who after reading about BPD seems to fit right into the things I've dealt with my whole relationship. Every time my needs came up, she would lose interest. Found out my dad has cancer, which I've been dealing with pretty well for me and since then she's kept me at arms length doing the whole push pull business. She will tell me she wants me one day then the next or possibly hours later say the complete opposite without even interacting with me. Once I learned about BPD I blocked her number and am trying to move myself away from her. I didn't even know there were people out there like this. Things started off great then she sabotaged everything no matter how nice I was or helped her thru things. She's on her own now or at least she is not allowed to be with me so good riddance and go mess with some other guy. That's exactly what i'm saying. I'd hear her out in every matter, cry for her, pray for her, researched her problems so I can help and she took it for granted. Whenever I told her my issues she would view it as some weakness. She was lucky she found a guy in me who would put up with her after she expressed her deepest, darkest secrets. She would say some stuff to make me feel better but she never empathized. I mean if you really loved me you'd help me solve my problems...I might be a man but I expect my girl to be my right arm and help me out sometimes. It was all a facade. She doesn't give a ****! Now i'm having a hard time trusting my girlfriend because of the craziness she put me through. I admit I was to blame in parts of the relationship too but there is no excuse for treating me like that. I wish she'd just get out of my head. Then she told me I was the reason she couldn't trust men anymore and her issues with her new guy. lol What a ****ing joke.
tlegend Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 That's exactly what i'm saying. I'd hear her out in every matter, cry for her, pray for her, researched her problems so I can help and she took it for granted. Whenever I told her my issues she would view it as some weakness. She was lucky she found a guy in me who would put up with her after she expressed her deepest, darkest secrets. She would say some stuff to make me feel better but she never empathized. I mean if you really loved me you'd help me solve my problems...I might be a man but I expect my girl to be my right arm and help me out sometimes. It was all a facade. She doesn't give a ****! Now i'm having a hard time trusting my girlfriend because of the craziness she put me through. I admit I was to blame in parts of the relationship too but there is no excuse for treating me like that. I wish she'd just get out of my head. Then she told me I was the reason she couldn't trust men anymore and her issues with her new guy. lol What a ****ing joke. To be fair, I feel like I could've wrote this post. And here I've been taking the blame for most of this relationship in order to accept the failure and move on... Maybe I should stop being so empathetic...
Woggle Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 That's exactly what i'm saying. I'd hear her out in every matter, cry for her, pray for her, researched her problems so I can help and she took it for granted. Whenever I told her my issues she would view it as some weakness. She was lucky she found a guy in me who would put up with her after she expressed her deepest, darkest secrets. She would say some stuff to make me feel better but she never empathized. I mean if you really loved me you'd help me solve my problems...I might be a man but I expect my girl to be my right arm and help me out sometimes. It was all a facade. She doesn't give a ****! Now i'm having a hard time trusting my girlfriend because of the craziness she put me through. I admit I was to blame in parts of the relationship too but there is no excuse for treating me like that. I wish she'd just get out of my head. Then she told me I was the reason she couldn't trust men anymore and her issues with her new guy. lol What a ****ing joke. Boy does this sound familiar. Don't try to make sense of it because there is no rhyme or reason. It's like living in the Twilight Zone when you are with them.
Heartbroken Eagle Posted February 19, 2014 Posted February 19, 2014 Yep, unfortunately I can totally relate with you guys. I have recently looked into BPD and I can now see the symptoms in my ex. What annoys me the most is that I was always there for her whenever she had a problem or an issue but when I had my problems I was frowned upon and left on my own. She was very insecure and needy as well, hence I spent most of my time reassuring her, but when I had my low moments she was not there offering any support. There was other red flags at the start of the relationship and during, which I ignored, mainly because I simply fell in love with her and I also thought I was her knight in shining armour too. It's probably why I'm angry with myself because I let her basically treat me like c@&p for the best part of 12 years. I will be so cautious if I do date again, still tired and scarred a year on after our split.
Author StringsAttached Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 To be fair, I feel like I could've wrote this post. And here I've been taking the blame for most of this relationship in order to accept the failure and move on... Maybe I should stop being so empathetic... Oh man, I ask myself this question many times a day. I still feel sorry for her. After all she did to me. Breaking up with me 2 times, telling me we'd be together forever and have kids and then stringing me along as a friend before finding the new 'love of her life'. Which she has problems with too. If that's not true love (on my part) then I don't know what is. I mean it's one thing to date a guy and tell him you love him more than anyone else but don't making promises if you can't keep them. Don't get them invested 120% and then dump them via text. Absolutely ridiculous...People change yes, but when you pull the plug like that it makes the dumpee question whether or not the relationship even existed. I wish her the best in life even told her to be happy with her new guy because before this relationship I wished the best upon everyone in the world. Even those who have wronged me. It's so disturbing that her issues have rubbed off on me. Worst mistake of my life. Can't believe I was such a beta loser for this person.
Author StringsAttached Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Boy does this sound familiar. Don't try to make sense of it because there is no rhyme or reason. It's like living in the Twilight Zone when you are with them. Yeah it's like some dark cloud was obscuring my vision and stopping me from seeing what she really was.
Author StringsAttached Posted February 19, 2014 Author Posted February 19, 2014 Yep, unfortunately I can totally relate with you guys. I have recently looked into BPD and I can now see the symptoms in my ex. What annoys me the most is that I was always there for her whenever she had a problem or an issue but when I had my problems I was frowned upon and left on my own. She was very insecure and needy as well, hence I spent most of my time reassuring her, but when I had my low moments she was not there offering any support. There was other red flags at the start of the relationship and during, which I ignored, mainly because I simply fell in love with her and I also thought I was her knight in shining armour too. It's probably why I'm angry with myself because I let her basically treat me like c@&p for the best part of 12 years. I will be so cautious if I do date again, still tired and scarred a year on after our split. It's sad because in today's society, the woman is always felt sorry for. Even if it was mostly her fault and the guy is made out to be a heinous beast. 'Oh noes, she's a pretty woman, she can do no wrong'. It's so sad that good guys are treated like ****. Maybe I should go back to my old ways and treat them like ****. Then they'll never leave you. Ridiculous. 12 years with a crazy? I'm sorry my friend. I sincerely hope you recover. Just don't try to save a broken person again. 1
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