LoverOfDance Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 When I first came to this site I wrote about a guy I had an enormous crush on who was/is in a long term relationship. I told him how I felt in order to get some closure and move on with my life. Well, my life definitely got better. I wasn't feeling like I was going out of my mind anymore because I had such strong feelings for a man who is completely off limits. My life got better but only for a while. Three years later I realize I still have feelings for this man and now I'm beginning to think they will never go away. What is wrong with me? Am I completely out of my mind to still have feelings for him after all this time. Will I ever get over him? Is this normal at all?
TheNewMe2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 you aren't out of your mind. If it's your true love, only love, etc - that can linger for a long-time. However, my belief, at this point is that your desire for him is less about him and more about the perfect ideal he presented and what you hoped to have with him. My guess is you haven't dated or dated very casually. Because of that, you are holding on to the feelings as a romantic or as someone who really wants a serious honest relationship. To a degree, if he was 'the one', those feelings will never completely go away (trust me, as someone who has been there). But, they get easier when you find the next serious relationship. The important part is to go into the next one with an open mind and not try to recreate or compensate for the other guy. Here's the thing (and it's hard to realize that when you are in the middle of it) - there is more than 'the one'. Movies will make it seem like there is one perfect partner. but with 7 Billion people in the World...there has got to be more than one 'the one'. Otherwise we'd never find that needle in the haystack. ...or if you believe there really is 'only one'. Than you haven't found him yet. Because fate, your religion, or whatever will guide you to him and wouldn't yank him away. You need to stay positive and have faith that there is another one out there. 1
Author LoverOfDance Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 (edited) Thanks @TheNewMe2014. I've actually been on a few dates since I made the decision to confess my feelings and move on with my life. But nothing has come out of any of them. I'm not sure what I need to do just to find that person that feels as strongly for me as I do for them. My whole life I've waited for that person who would like/love me just as much as like/love them. Right now I'm not really searching anymore. I've come to terms with and accepted whatever God's plans are for me (in terms of finding a partner). The only thing I want is just to forget about this man. I'm really at a point right now where I'm absolutely tired of trying. If the feelings want to stay forever, let them stay. Maybe if I ignore them hard enough they'll go away. Edited February 18, 2014 by LoverOfDance
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