Does it get easier?

[changedlife]

Hey I can feel ur pain just reading your post... Same pain as me.. Full of regrets of past actions...

 

I'm right here with you, I break down all the time and wish I could turn back time,. Unfortunately on earth and without a time machine we can't...

 

I wish I could give you answers to what to do to show her, I can't even show mine. And his so angry with me all I can do is support you and hope for the best.. Just come here if you need to talk. Contacting makes things worse. I felt like contacting and quickly came here before i make another irreversible mistake. I think we have more hope with them in the future if we don't add anymore to the fire that's already burning... :(:( hang in there. Most of us are in unbelievable pain.

 

 

I read this and my heart breaks for you. I don't know your story or who you are or what you believe in but I'll pray for you tonight.

Breakups hurt. Hurting other people you care about hurts a lot.

 

She has a lot of anger towards me also.. and you are right, each time I contact her it seems to push her further away even though each time I contact her my messages are so heartfelt for her pain.

 

You just want the best for somebody and you want to show them how much you care and love them, and when you do that it just reminds them of everything that has happened I guess.

 

I guess their pain is so much its hard for them to see when a person is truly reaching out and wanting to help.

 

It's understandable... but its just so hard to accept and deal with.

 

I hope we can both heal from this.. I hope we can both become better people who are more compassionate for others. I hope that I never have to go through this again.

 

Thank you for understanding and reaching out. I definitely understand what you are going through also.

[FailedFirstLove]

I read this and my heart breaks for you. I don't know your story or who you are or what you believe in but I'll pray for you tonight.

Breakups hurt. Hurting other people you care about hurts a lot.

 

She has a lot of anger towards me also.. and you are right, each time I contact her it seems to push her further away even though each time I contact her my messages are so heartfelt for her pain.

 

You just want the best for somebody and you want to show them how much you care and love them, and when you do that it just reminds them of everything that has happened I guess.

 

I guess their pain is so much its hard for them to see when a person is truly reaching out and wanting to help.

 

It's understandable... but its just so hard to accept and deal with.

 

I hope we can both heal from this.. I hope we can both become better people who are more compassionate for others. I hope that I never have to go through this again.

 

Thank you for understanding and reaching out. I definitely understand what you are going through also.

 

Thanks I'll keep your in my prayers also, what you wrote was so close to the way I felt....

 

From an outside perspective I think we cam both see they need their time and space to hopefully cool off...

But from our own we just don't want them to move on and forget us.... We love them and wish we could open up our hearts and show them...

 

As much as they say time heals all... I don't want him to move on from me.... But I don't think we have a choice.... Both are so angry

 

I think our only hope is to let them heal completely... I don't think I could forgive myself for making such a stupid mistake, I wouldn't be here now if I hadn't. :(

[changedlife]

What you said is exactly how I feel. I feel like she needs to heal completely. Her being alone while she is doing that is the scary part. She associates me (and rightfully so) with her pain from the past. It has made her mad, it has made her bitter, it has made it so she doesn't trust anybody. She recently said about how her physical health is better after leaving the relationship. She was so stressed out about it, it was just bring her down. While I am happy that she is physically healthier. It crushed me reading that thinking that she was happy I was out of her life and she didn't have to worry about me anymore.

 

Sometimes it is hard forgiving ourselves. I have so much guilt from all of this I know I haven't forgiven myself yet. I remind myself that I have self-worth because I am God's child and he has forgiven me of all my sins... but it is really hard to feel that forgiveness.

 

I know that my relationship with my ex was a really good one, and we were really compatible and really close. I just hate knowing that I destroyed what would have eventually been a really good marriage.

 

I'm here for you if you need to talk. It seems like we are both going through something very similar.

[Nicki73562]

I am sorry you are going through this. it is my first day as well NC with my ex. He is on a bus back to his old state. It has to get better I keep telling myself that. I am hurting in waves and having ups and downs so you aren't alone.

[changedlife]

I am sorry you are going through this. it is my first day as well NC with my ex. He is on a bus back to his old state. It has to get better I keep telling myself that. I am hurting in waves and having ups and downs so you aren't alone.

 

 

I'm sorry you are here now too Nicki. I keep hearing it does it better. But I can't confirm that for you quite yet.

 

I guess I am still in a state of shock. I just wasn't prepared for this. I guess nobody really prepares for it unless they are the person that initiates it. Too bad it was my past actions that were too much and forced my ex into initiating it.

 

Remember your self-worth, remember your good qualities and who you are deep down. You can do it.

[Hoaks]

This is my first day of NC as well. After huge text fights yesterday...it's the only way to go. We are both hurting badly. The only thing I can think of is I went through this 12 months ago and do know that you get through this.

 

She told me yesterday to just move on. But she has been the one initiating contact. The last phone call last night she told me to call again later, if I want. I never did, no point. I woke up today to see she tagged me in a post on FB. One we used to have a laugh about. I didn't think I had to block her.

 

So I know what you guys are going through, it will get better.

[WYSWYG]

Changedlife, let's just safely say we're all in this forum suffering or has suffered like you. As much as we want out of it, the emotional roller-coaster ride will go for a while.

 

You just have to ride it. It's s process that we have to endure - we have to mourn that loss. It will definitely test our disposition of life - lots of questions that may not be answered. But our exes decided their way. F them!

 

Would you rather be miserable or angry?

 

There's a lot of posts here that offers relief. Keep reading and keep posting. Consider how it can be worse for you. I was cheated by my ex 3 months ago - I had to walk away while still in love w/ her. Yes, I missed and long for the good times. Cried a lot but no regrets. I got dissed and not putting up w/ it.

 

Love is blind. It's creates a fantasy that may not be realistic. Half the time, emotions clouds our better judgement. Eventually, we'll get over them as the mind gets clear and more rational - it will happen. 'been there. That ex won't be on that pedestal one day. They're really not all that - I've had past BU's.

 

Try not to look back for would, could, should haves. They're in the past beyond us. If you miss the good times, what about those bad times?

 

Stay strong. This too, shall pass.

Edited February 20, 2014 by WYSWYG

[changedlife]

Changedlife, let's just safely say we're all in this forum suffering or has suffered like you. As much as we want out of it, the emotional roller-coaster ride will go for a while.

 

You just have to ride it. It's s process that we have to endure - we have to mourn that loss. It will definitely test our disposition of life - lots of questions that may not be answered. But our exes decided their way. F them!

 

Would you rather be miserable or angry?

 

There's a lot of posts here that offers relief. Keep reading and keep posting. Consider how it can be worse for you. I was cheated by my ex 3 months ago - I had to walk away while still in love w/ her. Yes, I missed and long for the good times. Cried a lot but no regrets. I got dissed and not putting up w/ it.

 

Love is blind. It's creates a fantasy that may not be realistic. Half the time, emotions clouds our better judgement. Eventually, we'll get over them as the mind gets clear and more rational - it will happen. 'been there. That ex won't be on that pedestal one day. They're really not all that - I've had past BU's.

 

Try not to look back for would, could, should haves. They're in the past beyond us. If you miss the good times, what about those bad times?

 

Stay strong. This too, shall pass.

 

Thanks for the encouraging words. I don't have a lot to be angry about at my ex. I had a lot more anger at myself and shame and guilt. Tonight I am feeling a little bit better about that though. I'm definitely still mourning the loss of the relationship but I think I am starting to forgive myself. All I can do is move on and be better. If I Can't change the past, I certainly shouldn't want to live in it.

 

Thanks again. This is hard but I'll get through it stronger.

[Salvatore85]

I was with my ex for 5 years and we went through just about everything a couple possibly could. It's been a year now since the break up and I'm full speed ahead. It gets better, it gets easier and you'll get there.