Sugarkane Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 This has happened to me a couple of times in my life. How are some people able to do this so effortlessly? Everyone says if you do this you'll look like a psycho. But when this has happened to me, the vindictive person always wins the friends.
SpiralOut Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 (edited) A good manipulator knows how to make their actions look like "concern." There are unfortunately many people who fall for manipulation easily. Either they haven't experienced it before, or they have but never clued into it or learned how to recognize it. Edited February 18, 2014 by SpiralOut
Tayla Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Sorry that folks can be that way....manipulators are cunning, yet if you actually watch them, they are tiring...juggling the falsehood....
TB Rhine Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Most groups of women seem to have a sort of Queen Bee - the one who decides where they go out to eat, what community causes to get involved with... and, crucially, who is allowed entrance to the group, and who gets left out in the cold. Of course, ALL social groups have the potential for exclusion, but I tend to think that with women, it's often more deliberate. There was actually a book about this phenomenon that came out a few years ago, the name of which escapes me. My advice: avoid trying to join close-knit groups. Seek out friends on an individual level - then, if you want, you can get them all together at your house one day, and YOU can be the Queen Bee. And when that b*tch Cynthia starts thinking she's a little too cute...
nescafe1982 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I often find that female manipulators cultivate a persona of the "damsel in distress," a pitiable character that appears weak and in need of help, when in reality the woman is being manipulative and mean. I have a friend right now that has a nasty manipulator in her life. This woman became her friend, started sleeping with her (very recent) ex-boyfriend, and then systematically started trying to alienate her from all of her friends. Many of us (our group) sees this for what it is: creepy, manipulative behavior aimed at hurting this woman. But there are also a few that genuinely think she's somehow the victim of circumstance here. Not surprisingly, most of the people who are falling for her act are dudes. I think men who have a self-perception/idealization of being the "knight in shining armor" are particularly susceptible to manipulative women. If there is one general trend, observed across all genders... it's that manipulators are good at abdicating responsibility for their actions. They are also good at convincing others to not hold them accountable for their actions. I often find male manipulators will call other people "crazy" a lot.... same purpose.
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