organizedchaos Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Well as long as he's not cheating with these men... Why should I care? Would you care if he slept in the same bed with another woman who was just a friend, as long as he's not cheating? 1
MissBee Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I'm a woman and I've witnessed this often. I've shared a bed with male friends countless times, without anything remotely sexual going on. Heck, this very weekend I'll be sharing a bed with a male friend, in a hotel room, without anything happening. We'll be crashing due to drunkness! And I find the same to be true for my other friends. In my group we party at hotels quite often. Sometimes to lessen the costs there will be a lot of sharing of beds and floor space. 3 to a kind size bed is not unusual in my circle. I've had 2 male friends crash in my bed, with me in it as well, after a long drunken night out! No sex or even flirting happened. Why does he have to be gay? Why is that what people jump to immediately? Or he's cheating... Why is it so weird that people have sleepovers?? My house doesn't have a lounge. So there is no sofa for people to crash on. So if I have friends staying over I'll either put out the air bed or we'll share my bed. If it's a spur of the moment thing and it's late, I can't put up the air bed because of the noise it makes. So bed it is! Why is that weird?? Are you in a relationship or single? What about the makeup of your friends in the above scenario? Why it is weird is that it is strange for a man with a gf to "constantly" (as the OP says) choose to sleep at their place in their bed and clearly she is nowhere around or invited to any of these "sleepovers". It doesn't seem like it's a case of we're all partying and crashed...it seems like he just goes over to these friends' houses "constantly" without her and prefers to sleep in bed with other men over being with her. You would find it normal if your bf spends his weekends or multiple nights a week sleeping in bed with other men while you're at home? I have never had a man who would prefer doing that over sleeping in my bed frankly. If everyone sleeping all in bed with each other is single okay, but for people in relationships to "constantly" be sleeping in bed with other people, esp for a guy to actually prefer to sleep in bed with other men constantly over his gf that's perfectly normal in your mind?
JamesM Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Never. And yes, I would be concerned if I were you. If it is only guys, then sleeping in bed with guys is not something that heterosexual men do frequently if even at all. 2
yankees51988 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 This is weird. My boyfriends would hang out with their friends but there was no sleeping over and especially when with me most nights, even if spent with the guys, after all was said and done they would want to come home to me after. 9/10 times I was their date to whatever it was or if it was a guys thing, at the end of the night they gladly said bye to their friends and came over to my place. I can just imagine me asking any of my male friends about this, exes or female friends and I guarantee they will all look at me crazy and be like wtfff???!!! Which guy would want to do that?! Quite frequently hanging out with the boys involves kicking back a ton of beers and driving at the end of the night is just asking for a run in with johnny law or a tree, lol. I live in a city so me and the guys can pound a 30 and I'll take a cab home or walk, but when you live in a more rural area you ain't paying 50 bucks for a cab home at the end of the night. Sometimes you need a break from the ol' ball and chain to get ****faced with the crew without girlfriends. Still kind of weird he doesn't invite you over his friend's to hang out with them sometimes.
Woggle Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Quite frequently hanging out with the boys involves kicking back a ton of beers and driving at the end of the night is just asking for a run in with johnny law or a tree, lol. I live in a city so me and the guys can pound a 30 and I'll take a cab home or walk, but when you live in a more rural area you ain't paying 50 bucks for a cab home at the end of the night. Sometimes you need a break from the ol' ball and chain to get ****faced with the crew without girlfriends. Still kind of weird he doesn't invite you over his friend's to hang out with them sometimes. Exactly. When I was single I used to invite the guys over all the time and sometimes it would last an entire weekend. He just had a bunch of fun and the guys in relationships got to breathe and be free for a little while.
Joaquin Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Maybe because I don't have many friends I feel this way.... My boyfriend is constantly always staying at his friend's house, or they are always staying at his house. He's 20 years old. His friends are his age.... He even has a 30 year old friend who likes to do sleepovers.... I never had a boyfriend who liked to sleepover on weekly basis at there friends house. I find it strange, and it DOESNT bother me completely. What really does when he told me his friends sleep on the same bed as him. He has a full size mattress. I dunnooooo.... So men how many times a week do you sleep over at your friends house? At that age all the time. After 30, sadly not so much.
JamesM Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Sometimes you need a break from the ol' ball and chain ..... Grant you that...although I never shared that sentiment. But EVERY week? And sleeping in bed with other guys? This is not just a break from a woman. 2
organizedchaos Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Exactly. When I was single I used to invite the guys over all the time and sometimes it would last an entire weekend. He just had a bunch of fun and the guys in relationships got to breathe and be free for a little while. And you slept in bed with them too? 1
Author love1336x Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 This is weird. I have never had a boyfriend that did sleepovers with other guys unless it was out of necessity. Example: if someone came into town or something and had to stay at his place or if he was drinking and crashed at someone's place for a few before driving, and even so the latter didn't ever happen while I was with them. Those things are one thing but NEVER have I had (or heard of) a bf who did "sleepovers" with men just for fun when he's an adult, much less while in a relationship with me. None of my boyfriends preferred to go sleep on some dude's couch or worse bed (WTF?! I've NEVER HEARD THIS. Even when the necessary sleepovers occurred, they slept on couches or air beds or guest rooms not in bed together) over sleeping with me...that actually sounds crazy. I'm sorry but this is EXTREMELY strange for a guy with a gf to have 'sleep overs' in the same bed with other men constantly. I hate to suggest it, but maybe something is going on between your bf and these "friends" of his. My boyfriends would hang out with their friends but there was no sleeping over and especially when with me most nights, even if spent with the guys, after all was said and done they would want to come home to me after. 9/10 times I was their date to whatever it was or if it was a guys thing, at the end of the night they gladly said bye to their friends and came over to my place. I can just imagine me asking any of my male friends about this, exes or female friends and I guarantee they will all look at me crazy and be like wtfff???!!! Which guy would want to do that?! You make me feel normal... :[ Thanks. I sorta was feeling wrong to feel weird!
Author love1336x Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 Would you care if he slept in the same bed with another woman who was just a friend, as long as he's not cheating? Well you are assuming that his friends like men as well. There are three main men he sleeps overs with and they all have girlfriends. The one he does sleep in the same bed is single... I dunno if he's gay or not, but i won't assume.... If he felt that she was like a sister to him, and she had a boyfriend I wouldn't have a problem.
Author love1336x Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 Are you in a relationship or single? What about the makeup of your friends in the above scenario? Why it is weird is that it is strange for a man with a gf to "constantly" (as the OP says) choose to sleep at their place in their bed and clearly she is nowhere around or invited to any of these "sleepovers". It doesn't seem like it's a case of we're all partying and crashed...it seems like he just goes over to these friends' houses "constantly" without her and prefers to sleep in bed with other men over being with her. You would find it normal if your bf spends his weekends or multiple nights a week sleeping in bed with other men while you're at home? I have never had a man who would prefer doing that over sleeping in my bed frankly. If everyone sleeping all in bed with each other is single okay, but for people in relationships to "constantly" be sleeping in bed with other people, esp for a guy to actually prefer to sleep in bed with other men constantly over his gf that's perfectly normal in your mind? My boyfriend excuse can be he doesn't have a car, so he friends do not want to drop him back home. He said if i would gladly picked him up all the time then he would spend more time with me, vs his friends.
Author love1336x Posted February 27, 2014 Author Posted February 27, 2014 Quite frequently hanging out with the boys involves kicking back a ton of beers and driving at the end of the night is just asking for a run in with johnny law or a tree, lol. I live in a city so me and the guys can pound a 30 and I'll take a cab home or walk, but when you live in a more rural area you ain't paying 50 bucks for a cab home at the end of the night. Sometimes you need a break from the ol' ball and chain to get ****faced with the crew without girlfriends. Still kind of weird he doesn't invite you over his friend's to hang out with them sometimes. Lol. He hangs out more with his friend than me... But I am more busier than him. I have two jobs, and full time student. So, we do make sure to see eachother on the weekend, sadly enough during the week... it's all about his friends. (he does work as well, but it's nothing too crazy. He usually out by 3pm)
organizedchaos Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 Well you are assuming that his friends like men as well. There are three main men he sleeps overs with and they all have girlfriends. The one he does sleep in the same bed is single... I dunno if he's gay or not, but i won't assume.... If he felt that she was like a sister to him, and she had a boyfriend I wouldn't have a problem. Because straight men do not sleep in the same bed with other men! And if he is bi, why are they, or one guy, sleeping in bed with him? Listen, if you don't have a problem with this, then so be it. But something is not right with this situation. Take that from a 42 year old straight guy, for whatever it's worth.
Titania22 Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 No disrespect intended for the OP's feelings, but my first reaction to reading the opening post was 'aww that's so endearing that he has such close friendships with his friends, and rare too'. And then I got to ninjainpajamas posts, suggesting they might be hardcore gamers, and I thought maybe that's why I find it endearing, as a hardcore games myself. When ever my parents were out of town when my brother was that age, he would have full on gamers parties where everyone would sleep over all weekend, about 20people, only a handful of girls amongst them. He might have loved to do that every weekend, but it wasn't an option. I think in this case his friends are part of the package.
MissBee Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Quite frequently hanging out with the boys involves kicking back a ton of beers and driving at the end of the night is just asking for a run in with johnny law or a tree, lol. I live in a city so me and the guys can pound a 30 and I'll take a cab home or walk, but when you live in a more rural area you ain't paying 50 bucks for a cab home at the end of the night. Sometimes you need a break from the ol' ball and chain to get ****faced with the crew without girlfriends. Still kind of weird he doesn't invite you over his friend's to hang out with them sometimes. She says he does this constantly, not every once in a while. In any case, I suggest you not be with anyone that feels like a ball and chain to you. I get the odd crashing if you partied too hard but in the context of what the OP has said, it seems like this is a weekly "sleepover" where it isn't some party or night out with too much to drink but like he just arranges sleepovers in other men's bed. I'm sorry, no one can convince me that the average man with a gf weekly has "sleepovers" and she is not invited EVER to these events that lead to sleeping over and he sleeps in bed with his "friends" CONSTANTLY! 2
MissBee Posted February 28, 2014 Posted February 28, 2014 Exactly. When I was single I used to invite the guys over all the time and sometimes it would last an entire weekend. He just had a bunch of fun and the guys in relationships got to breathe and be free for a little while. Did you read her post? She said this happens constantly and he sleeps in bed with other men. No one is saying a man can never hang with his friends or anything. but as I said I don't know which man esp one with a gf who CONSTANTLY has "sleepovers" and sleeps in bed with other dudes for fun weekly.
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