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Harsh Honesty or Nice Dishonesty: Which Do You Prefer?

verhrzn

By verhrzn
in General Relationship Discussion

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verhrzn Established Member

verhrzn

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Especially in close relationships, like good friends or romantic partners. Let's say someone is breaking up with you; which would you rather hear?

 

"I am not physically attracted to you."

or

"I just don't think we have the right chemistry."

 

Why do you prefer it one way and not the other?

Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
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Does it really matter if you are being dumped? I mean it's not like a task where you need feedback to better help you complete it

 

I think to say "you aren't attracted to the person" contradicts you having been with them for some time...surely they did it for you somewhat that it made you shag em

Under The Radar Established Member

Under The Radar

Posted
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Why does it have to be so black and white?

 

How about honesty with KINDNESS.

 

If I had no choice, then I would prefer harsh honesty.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
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Doesn't matter. Harsh honesty would be preferred as I'm a big boy with big balls - I can take it. Nice dishonesty isn't bad either, at least the person was tactful, or - you know - she can just be honest but in a nice way. Doesn't matter anyway - I will draw my own conclusions irregardless and continue forth.

Janesays Established Member

Janesays

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To me, those statements mean the same exact thing.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
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What is the difference between the two statements?

 

If there was the right chemistry, he'd think I'm attractive.

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verhrzn Established Member

verhrzn

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Posted
What is the difference between the two statements?

 

If there was the right chemistry, he'd think I'm attractive.

 

Oh I don't see much of a difference, I just see one as being a bit more harsh version of the same coin.

 

I was just thinking today about sincerity and being genuine, and how I think I'd rather deal with an honest ******* than a dishonest "nice" person. Yet our culture seems to favor "paving things" over with social niceties, which in my experience lead to complications and misunderstandings.

xxoo Established Member

xxoo

Posted
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Well, but a person can look at you and think, "That is a good looking woman. Why don't I feel the spark?" That's summed up as "no chemistry".

 

It isn't the same as saying, "You aren't good looking to me".

gaius Established Member

gaius

Posted
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I'd rather deal with an honest ******* than a dishonest "nice" person.

I'm starting to doubt that......... But I do like honesty myself. Some woman suggested recently I was sucking some cock because I annoyed her and I gained new respect for that side over the fake, restrained, polite persona she usually projects. Not that I'd tell her that though. How dare she suggest something like that. :mad:

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snappytomcat Established Member

snappytomcat

Posted
Posted
Why does it have to be so black and white?

 

How about honesty with KINDNESS.

 

If I had no choice, then I would prefer harsh honesty.

yes this honesty with kindness,thats how I always try to live my life,and im a brutuly honest person,but I always do it with kindness,just like I would want to be treated

  • Like 1
MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted
Especially in close relationships, like good friends or romantic partners. Let's say someone is breaking up with you; which would you rather hear?

 

"I am not physically attracted to you."

or

"I just don't think we have the right chemistry."

 

Why do you prefer it one way and not the other?

 

I don't think tact is the same as dishonesty.

 

You can say something in a tactful way or a harsh and overly aggressive and hurtful way.

 

Not being physically attracted to someone and saying you don't feel your chemistry meshes isn't dishonest.

 

I would prefer tact. I do not think the truth ALWAYS has to be hurtful. Yes, sometimes it is, but when I can be tactful I am and if it still hurts then at least I tried, but to be exceptionally hurtful when you don't have to be is unecesary IMO.

  • Like 3
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted

I prefer honesty in pretty much everything in life. I like for people to lay their cards on the table with me because that is what I do with others.

  • Like 1
ponchsox Established Member

ponchsox

Posted
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Honesty without insult. Anyone who can't handle rejection shouldn't be dating. I don't take it personal, rather I look at it as I'm closer to finding the right person for me.

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Tayken Established Member

Tayken

Posted
Posted
I'm starting to doubt that......... But I do like honesty myself. Some woman suggested recently I was sucking some cock because I annoyed her and I gained new respect for that side over the fake, restrained, polite persona she usually projects. Not that I'd tell her that though. How dare she suggest something like that. :mad:

 

A woman saying that to you? That is like pot calling the kettle black :rolleyes:

 

@OP....I am a give it to me straight kind of person i.e. don't sugar coat it. I like my feedback the way I like my women, frank, honest and straight up ;)

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted

100% pure honesty.

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