Broke up no contact, screwed up a great recovery

[Costa Del Sol]

gf broke up, sent mixed signals during my no contact period, I though she was sincere and mad at something, called her to fix things but meh, apparently it was all for validation. she appeared very sad during my no contact, now overjoyed after meeting. good god I feel used.

 

My question is, now what? Honestly, giving away the "no contact" power and recovery for nothing hurts more than the initial break up. It is really sad, some girls, regardless of age, break up very maturely and respect the guy they break up and others? send ****load of mixed signals, play with emotions.

 

Any chance to regain that power and hit the road of recovery again?

 

edit: title was supposed to be "broke no contact", apologies.

Edited February 17, 2014 by Costa Del Sol

[Gemini x]

Hello! Remember me? ... I told you that NOTHING good will come out of it with this woman. Why you're not listening is beyond me. No, it isn't beyond me because I'm going through a BU as well, so I know partly how you feel.

 

With that said, go back to COMPLETE NC. Delete/block her from ALL social media and act as if she doesn't exist. You were only with her for a few months and saw the signs and are still going back. I mean, is her pussy made of platinum or what?

[lakerman34]

Some people on this site are aggressive and say "what's the matter?" "get over yourself" and the like. I don't think that's what people in our position need to hear.

 

Man, you made a mistake. It happens. You're human. I don't blame you for wanting her back and contacting her. You guys shared amazing experiences together, you may have even LOVED her and her you, but ultimately, it just wasn't meant to be.

 

I know that isn't what you may want to hear right now, but TRUST me, there is ALWAYS a better fish in the sea. Every ex I've had, I went through a LONG period of "she was perfect for me" and "I won't find better." Every girl I date is at least SLIGHTLY better than the last. Trust me, the next one will be better than this one.

 

We like to think we are 'unique,' but there are 7,000,000,000 people in the world today. I promise you that SOME of those ladies in that population (quite a lot, actually) have ALL that your ex had to offer AND THEN SOME. Maybe one is a redheaded goddess that is a real estate agent by day, artist by night, will give you the most passionate sex you've ever experienced, will have conversations with you that will blow your mind, and EVERYTHING you want to accomplish in life, she'll want to be right by your side, always with the cutest smile that puts your ex's to shame. Who knows?

 

I find that during a breakup, 2 movies are just INCREDIBLE. 500 Days of Summer and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. With the former, imagine yourself as Tom and your ex as Summer, and for the latter, imagine your ex as Sarah Marshall and you as Jason Segel's character. You'll find that your relationship was EERILY similar, and the breakup feels are EERILY similar. These movies were made to give us HOPE.

 

Cut off ALL contact with her. She is no longer your friend. Get rid of her on Facebook. Hell, delete your Facebook. Get rid of EVERYTHING that reminds you of her. Spend a day or two listening to the saddest music (I, personally, love MoTown for this purpose). Get all the emotions out.

 

Then, after a couple days of that, start the rest of your life. Find your passion, and attack it. Reinvent yourself. The sweetest revenge is becoming the best possible you that you can become. In a few years, she WILL get curious (we are a curious animal, us humans), she'll look you up, and she'll kick herself for letting you go.

 

I believe that WHENEVER we are rejected, that is the rejector's way of saying, "you are too good for me. I don't have to offer you what you have to offer me. You have more to offer than I do." That's why, for example, this girl I've been chasing says I put her on a pedestal, because only on a pedestal would she be able to reach me. I truly, honestly believe this. I don't think this is an illusion, I think this is reality.

 

If the girl was AWESOME, that's great, because the Universe is telling you, "you thought SHE was awesome? Well, oh boy, get ready for who we have in store for you next!"

[ithappenedagain]

Hey man. I can relate to what happened. I believe everyone has messed up at some point when it comes to breaking NC. The common denominator with breaking no contact is that it seems like it ALWAYS is a setback rather than a positive step forward. With that said, don't kick yourself for breaking no contact. It's HARD! We all know.. In fact, I can totally relate to what happened with you because the same thing happened with me. Got led on, only to break NC, only to be kicked in the gut AGAIN. She wanted a ego boost, I gave it to her.. This was about 10 days ago.

 

I was so distraught after that, I started looking for answers. I got some great advice from my mom. She basically told me "consider this the death of your relationship".. She hit the nail on the head. This was the death of death of our relationship. Someone else also told me this. "Loving someone so much, even after they chose to breakup with you, is a great trait to have. It shows you have a heart."

 

Now don't get me wrong, I am still struggling - in fact the last 2 days have been TERRIBLE - but i know in my heart that things are over.

 

I wish you the best man

Edited February 18, 2014 by ithappenedagain

[Tripz]

I'm totally digging lakeman's positive vibe!

[StGeorge22]

Don't be too hard on yourself. I think most girls mainly just want to know you haven't moved on and reach out . They don't want you back, just don't want someone else to have you. I've been contemplating breaking NC in a few weeks when I'm in here state for work ( she moved after we couldn't sort it out), but I just don't see how anything good can come of it!