How can I approach girls without coming off as horny/thirsty?

[MightyHeracross]

I'm an incredibly shy guy in college. I'm 19. How do I start a conversation with a girl without coming across as a thirsty guy? I'm not talking about in bars and parties, I mean in classes, just walking around, ect?

 

I know you guys are just gonna tell me to stop considering girls a prize, and just treat them as another human being, but thats tough for me. Especially tough when they are good looking.

 

I just think about what they're thinking. They're probably thinking "Why would this guy come up to me and start a conversation when there are a ton of other girls here?" And the only answer is, because I am horny.

 

Im a bit lost here.

 

Thanks.

Edited February 17, 2014 by MightyHeracross

[Eivuwan]

Focus on things like common interests so it's not all about the looks.

[hasaquestion]

I'm an incredibly shy guy in college. I'm 19. How do I start a conversation with a girl without coming across as a thirsty guy? I'm not talking about in bars and parties, I mean in classes, just walking around, ect?

 

I know you guys are just gonna tell me to stop considering girls a prize, and just treat them as another human being, but thats tough for me. Especially tough when they are good looking.

 

I just think about what they're thinking. They're probably thinking "Why would this guy come up to me and start a conversation when there are a ton of other girls here?" And the only answer is, because I am horny.

 

Im a bit lost here.

 

Thanks.

 

Meet girls through your female friends. Go places with your friends who are girls. Use your talking-to-guys skills to get them an in with guys they want to talk to, and they'll get your back in return.

 

If you're a girl, why would you be open to some a random dude who approaches you looking like a loner? Its like eating a sketchy cut of beef from Denmark that may or may not have tapeworms. You have no idea where its been. If you have friends around, particularly other girls, that's saying this is FDA approved and worth a try.

 

And if you don't have any friends who are women? Get on that.

[MightyHeracross]

Focus on things like common interests so it's not all about the looks.

 

I agree its not all about looks. In fact, I find myself more attracted to girls with potential to be a girlfriend/wife. Idk why. Its a bit weird for guys my age to think that way. Honestly, looks aren't everything. But thats obviously the first think that catches my eyes.

[MightyHeracross]

Meet girls through your female friends. Go places with your friends who are girls.

 

And if you don't have any friends who are women? Get on that.

 

... yeah... I've got some, but none that are really good friends. How do I "get one that"

[hasaquestion]

... yeah... I've got some, but none that are really good friends. How do I "get one that"

 

Just be friends with girls. If 99% of the threads posted here are to be believed, being just friends with women comes quite naturally.

[Eivuwan]

First mistake. Why do you care what other people think? Care solely about what YOU think. Do things for you. Do things that you want. Regrets will only hold you back and restrain you to a miserable life. Look yourself in the mirror and ask if you are living to your potential.

 

You are horny and you want one thing from them, right? Envision this. Women are like a herd of lost sheep. They need someone to guide them the way. Enlighten them. Take control of the situation.

 

Example - DON'T ASK HER TO GO OUT. YOU DO NOT CARE WHAT SHE THINKS. DON'T ASK HER WHEN SHE IS FREE. You simply say. I'm talking you out Saturday at 7 to watch a movie/go to the club/go to a restaurant. Follow this example with everything and you will see how your life will change. Take control of everything. Do things your way. Be assertive and exert authority.

 

OP, please don't listen to this advice if you want a gf and a wife. In his other posts, his goals in regards to women are very different from yours. If you want to be a player follow Night's advice. Otherwise, try to initiate conversations based on things like common interests and go from there. Just try to get to know them as people.

 

@ Night, women are not a bunch of lost sheeps. That is quite offensive. I was trying to give you advice in your other posts, but things like this just makes wonder if you are simply just a narcissist.

[kjackson1]

First off, if you are a bit thirsty, I recommend getting something to drink. Secondly if you are looking for casual sex or no strings attached, be honest about it. Trust me there are just as many women as men out there that just want to shag without the emotional part. Is it for everyone ? No. Does everyone do it ? No not everyone does it. Is it possible, absolutely. Will you be frowned upon when you decide to actually value and respect women and want to settle down, most likely.

 

 

Haha a Gatorade should do the trick

[Eivuwan]

Don't bring me into this thread. The OP is someone different. He clearly said that he is horny/thirsty and it sure isn't for a relationship. It's for sex and sex only. My advice is guaranteed to get him just what he ASKED about. I am simply providing advice on that regard. The sheep analogy was meant to give him a vision of how to take control. Not intended to offend.

 

You clearly missed what he said in your own thread that he is looking for a gf/wife type of relationship.

[hasaquestion]

He must be mistaken because horny/thirsty are words associated with sex. No one has ever said they are horny for a relationship. He clearly wants for them to put out first.

 

You must be mistaken because he never said he was horny/thirsty, just that he's afraid of being perceived that way. You clearly need to pay better attention....

[Tayken]

Simply by incorporating chivalry, respect (mutual), carry yourself with a certain decorum, and don't make it obvious what the end goal objective is.....she bloody well knows that already, she is more interested in the journey there

[Eivuwan]

You must be mistaken because he never said he was horny/thirsty, just that he's afraid of being perceived that way. You clearly need to pay better attention....

 

Well, he did say he is horny which is understandable. But it is clear from his posts that he wants a serious relationship that is not just sex-based.

[Eivuwan]

"Because i am horny". No one writes things they don't think. Subconsciously or consciously, he believe this and therefore he is.

 

Not everyone is like you. Just because someone is very horny doesn't mean that they let that be their main motivation for a relationship. It is possible to be attracted to people for both their personalities and their looks. Just look at his first response to me on this thread.

[Eivuwan]

Lol. You make it seem as if i'm the bad guy. Horny=sex. That's the motivation. It is possible to be attracted to both, but when the word horny is used, sex takes center stage and sweeps away the rest.

 

Not everyone uses words the way you use it. You seem to have trouble taking perspective of others which is evident in a lot of your posts.

 

Edit: I don't want to derail this thread so I will stop responding to Night here.

[LEEVIT2F8]

Okay college and meeting girls. Sophomore year my roommate and I went door to door in our dorm and met every girl in the building. The really cute ones we invited up for a dorm warming party. That night it was ourselves, 2 male friends, and about 20 of the best looking girls. It was a great "in" and we did something most guys just wouldn't. Worked like a charm...

 

After that every time we went to the cafeteria we would just choose the hottest 2 girls in there eating, sit down and introduce ourselves. We would tell them that they owe us for keeping the womanizers away and invite them to meet up with us later and whatever thing we were doing that night. Again worked like a charm...

 

At the club we always rolled at least 12 deep with the majority being very attractive girls. It is 1000 times less awkward approaching beautiful girls in the club when your table is all attractive women. Your automatically approved and part of the club. I'd always say something really stupid and arrogant like, "How did you miss the memo? All of the sexy people are over at our table and you sitting over here alone is just confusing people, so get your drink and get into my life right now! <smile> <wink>".

 

Your big issue is you lack confidence. You need to borrow someone else's until you find your own. Talk to every girl feel like talking to. See if shes fun and make her laugh. Your going to fail a bunch but you will get one. And the next one is easier.

 

At the end it got so stupid we would pick girls up with the worst lines we could think of at the time. One night three girls sitting at a table. I walk up sit right down and they are all excuse me who are you? I say so which one of you is blowing me tonight? One girl gets really offended and starts telling me off. I cut her off and say with an attitude like that it wont be you!! Another girl started laughing her face off. I say see obviously I'm joking but now I know who has a sense of humor, I'm going to have to steal your friend for a bit you sit here and try to lighten up while were gone. LOL

 

The point is what one man can do another can do. Go and have some fun in life and stop worrying about messing up.

Edited February 17, 2014 by LEEVIT2F8

[WP4046]

He must be mistaken because horny/thirsty are words associated with sex. No one has ever said they are horny for a relationship. He clearly wants for them to put out first.

 

 

Thirsty means "desperate"

[Tayken]

Thirsty means "desperate"

 

Or something Gory and Macabre

[MightyHeracross]

OP, please don't listen to this advice if you want a gf and a wife. In his other posts, his goals in regards to women are very different from yours. If you want to be a player follow Night's advice. Otherwise, try to initiate conversations based on things like common interests and go from there. Just try to get to know them as people.

 

@ Night, women are not a bunch of lost sheeps. That is quite offensive. I was trying to give you advice in your other posts, but things like this just makes wonder if you are simply just a narcissist.

 

When you say "Try to initiate conversations," thats the part I have trouble with. Once I know someone, I can be myself. Usually that comes through someone introducing me. Im very shy just approaching anyone for a conversation... male or female.

[MightyHeracross]

Thirsty means "desperate"

 

When I say that I'm thirsty, Im meaning to say that I don't want to appear to be thirsty, and that I feel like most girls will view me as thirsty if I start a conversation with them out of the blue.

 

Id actually prefer a relationship over just a meaningless party hookup (I've done neither BTW)

[lino]

Simply by incorporating chivalry, respect (mutual), carry yourself with a certain decorum, and don't make it obvious what the end goal objective is.....she bloody well knows that already, she is more interested in the journey there

 

This is the best way to get no where.

 

Look at what other successful guys are doing and emulate it.

[MightyHeracross]

This is the best way to get no where.

 

Look at what other successful guys are doing and emulate it.

 

Lol, I get what you're saying... Just do what everyone else does cuz it works for them...

 

Not that easy!!!!

 

Think about it... you want to play a professional sport? Just do what professional athletes do, and you'll do it too.

 

It doesn't quite work like that unfortunately :/

[lino]

True but it's essential you learn from guys like that.

 

Everyone knows at least one guy who totally cleans up with girls. The best way forward is to learn as much as possible from those guys.

[MightyHeracross]

True but it's essential you learn from guys like that.

 

Everyone knows at least one guy who totally cleans up with girls. The best way forward is to learn as much as possible from those guys.

 

Yeah, I do know someone like that. But the difference is, he has more experience than me. He's not there telling me what to do. Its really not as easy as you might think to just emulate someone

[MightyHeracross]

Listen here then.

 

You obviously want to get laid. You won't get anywhere if you keep thinking "i don't want to come off as thirsty." Thinking relationship first will leave you shattered. Chase only what you want. You need to look at someone in your life that is getting laid on the regular and emulate his teachings. See if he wants a relationship too or if he just goes after what he wants. Wanting a relationship like you want it is just beta.

 

Well he's never been laid. He's a couple years younger than me, so he is still in high school. He's hooked up at many parties, and he's had girlfriends...

 

Im not sure why I should want to get laid over having a relationship. Id rather have someone there for me all the time, and not just one night.

[kart180]

Im very shy just approaching anyone for a conversation. male or female.

 

I have the same problem, I just dont know how to start a conversation, Not a man who goes looking for women.