Shaun-Dro Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 Yea, it popped up during a small argument we had earlier today and I'm not pleased with this revelation whatsoever. She admitted that when I was trying to get with her last month she wasn't single, but what was in fact still in a relationship, however rocky, and felt it was wise to keep me around in case she broke it off with the other guy. Fast forward, she did just that without my knowledge, while I was under the impression she had been single all along and was only treading lightly with me because things were still fresh. Now, I'm wondering just how many other young women have done exactly the same thing or something similar to their men. To me this is dishonesty no matter which way you paint it because what if another dude had already made a move on her behind my back and he's also put on the back-burner until I jack things up? How common is this practice with today's women? Link to post Share on other sites
Untouchable_Fire Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 How common is this practice with today's women? Not that common. What are you going to do about it? Just take it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 That seems really dishonest. I met my ex while she was in a relationship, but she didn't try to hide that from me at all. It actually took her a while to tell me that she had become single, then we got together. There was no backburner. Link to post Share on other sites
FrostBlaze Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I would dump her, or you could just have a talk about it and try to find out more. But she kept you there as a "option" just in case, not as a priority, if it was priority i figure she would of told you sooner. So as i see it, you are still a "option/filler/rebound" not priority, and how she did her EX could likely happen to you. AND i could be wrong, seen some cases, but you should still have a serious talk about this, not just take it like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
meghann8 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 She seems comfortable with lying and not thinking relationships are a big deal. Be careful with your heart around her. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 If she will do that with you, she will do it on you 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 She'll keep you on your toes. What's she is essentially saying is that if you two have a rough patch and someone comes around better than you during that lull then she'll leave you too. Don't hit the rough patch or if you do don't linger there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun-Dro Posted February 18, 2014 Author Share Posted February 18, 2014 She seems comfortable with lying and not thinking relationships are a big deal. Be careful with your heart around her. Not going to happen. I never get my heart involved with any woman unless I've been with them for a long time and things naturally progressed to such a level. With this dame, it's only been a little over a month. I've tried talking to her about this situation and she makes it out like it's no big deal and claims to know several young women within her age group who are doing the exact same thing. She calls it "protecting herself". Link to post Share on other sites
jcrew11 Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 I've tried talking to her about this situation and she makes it out like it's no big deal and claims to know several young women within her age group who are doing the exact same thing. She calls it "protecting herself". LOL, unfortunately I think this sort of thing is extremely common for young women. There is this trade-up philosophy and the fear of being alone. Girls have more social status by having a boyfriend, and also having a guy around to help them. Girls are just needier and lack the confidence to be independent. I think guys do this as well, but its just called cheating or pre-cheating, for those who want to break-up first before targeting a new girl. Either way, its a scummy thing to do to always being on the lookout to trade up for whatever reason. Some girls are just shady, and even if they are hot, you can tell that they aren't going to be committed in the long term. Link to post Share on other sites
LEEVIT2F8 Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Alright ladies prepare to blast me again. But I've heard it said young women are like monkeys swinging in the trees. They always have that next branch in their hand before letting go of the last one. While not the most flattering analogy if you look at it logically it does make a lot of sense. Its all based on insecurity and lack of self reliance. The fear of the unknown is one of the most powerful motivating factors in human existence. Look no further then religion for proof of that. Build up her self esteem and she will have the confidence to leave you without finding a new man first. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
kaylan Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Dump this broad. Or you can use her for sex until you find someone to monkey branch to, and then ask your soon to be ex how it feels. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Now, I'm wondering just how many other young women have done exactly the same thing or something similar to their men. To me this is dishonesty no matter which way you paint it because what if another dude had already made a move on her behind my back and he's also put on the back-burner until I jack things up? How common is this practice with today's women? If she is your usual age group at around 19 years old or so then yes, going from relationship to relationship is common. Maybe try finding someone your own age with some maturity behind them. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Alright ladies prepare to blast me again. But I've heard it said young women are like monkeys swinging in the trees. They always have that next branch in their hand before letting go of the last one. While not the most flattering analogy if you look at it logically it does make a lot of sense. Its all based on insecurity and lack of self reliance. The fear of the unknown is one of the most powerful motivating factors in human existence. Look no further then religion for proof of that. Build up her self esteem and she will have the confidence to leave you without finding a new man first. LOL It's young people. I can assure you guys are even worse. 20 year-old boys are not exactly known for their commitment and fidelity. I suppose I don't understand what people expect from kids barely out of high school? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Co-dependent people do this. They can't be alone so they have someone lined up. It's not gender specific but since men are the pursuers it could be argued that it would be easier for a woman to have someone lined up but that's a debate for another thread. What are you looking for? If you're not looking to settle down than I'd say as long as she's not cheating who cares? If you're looking for serious LTR potential then jump ship! Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 I don't know how common it is, but it IS a woman's fundamental nature. What keeps people from acting on their base nature is moral & ethical teaching. Sounds like hers was insufficient. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 So put her on the backburner. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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