I think I may have broken up with the person I want to spend the rest of my life with

[newbie1986]

Hi. I'm 27, male and I've just broken up with my girlfriend.

 

She's been my only girlfriend. We met when we were 18 and became best friends. We then started dating when we were 24.

 

But over the past year I've started having doubts. I found myself thinking about what it could be like with other girls. I haven't cheated on her and never could, but I feel like I'm not with her 100%.

 

But breaking up was the most horrible experience of my life. I thought it would be a weight off my shoulders. I thought I'd feel free. But I don't. I just miss her. I feel stupid for even thinking of other girls and succumbing to the pressure of a need to notch up multiple sexual partners.

 

There's so much more important things in life and in a relationship between two people. Even if I had 100 previous sexual partners - would everything be perfect then?

 

All I can do now is think about the future we had together and the plans we were making. I just want to get everything back on track and I want to commit my life to her.

 

But is it too soon after a breakup? And what about those thoughts?

[lvroflife]

First calm down and take a deep breath!!

 

Ok.. secondly do not beat yourself up... You had to see what it would be like with other girls. Imagine you did stay, you might have cheated later. You had to get "it" out of your system.. Now if "it" is out then maybe you are ready to be with her... I do not know how long you two have been split (you never mentioned it). But you need to cool your emotions before you approach her.

 

And you need to be ready for whatever answer she gives you. whether she will take you back or not. You hurt her bad, and she will make you work...

My advice is if it is worth saving go gor it. But what happens when you become curious down the road. Because she may think about that, and throw that in your face

[Driftking102]

Hi. I'm 27, male and I've just broken up with my girlfriend.

 

She's been my only girlfriend. We met when we were 18 and became best friends. We then started dating when we were 24.

 

But over the past year I've started having doubts. I found myself thinking about what it could be like with other girls. I haven't cheated on her and never could, but I feel like I'm not with her 100%.

 

But breaking up was the most horrible experience of my life. I thought it would be a weight off my shoulders. I thought I'd feel free. But I don't. I just miss her. I feel stupid for even thinking of other girls and succumbing to the pressure of a need to notch up multiple sexual partners.

 

There's so much more important things in life and in a relationship between two people. Even if I had 100 previous sexual partners - would everything be perfect then?

 

All I can do now is think about the future we had together and the plans we were making. I just want to get everything back on track and I want to commit my life to her.

 

But is it too soon after a breakup? And what about those thoughts?

 

I know im probably not the type of guy to give advice as my relationship was pretty up and down. Look dude I am in the same boat your in right now. I am 24 and have been together with this girl 1 year and 9 months. 1 year just getting to know each other and 9 months officially. When you start having doubts and looking at her behaviors not matching yours, then its time to let her go. My girlfriend was amazing and was a very outside 24/7 person. While I was an indoor person most of the time. I liked to go outside and do stuff but not be outside 24/7. I broke up with her because she did not see a future with me next to her. I did not want to waste two years with her and be drifting when I could find an awesome girl who has the same personality as me, who wants a future with me, and who does not want to be outside 24/7. There are a million girls out there and I am hoping to find one that matches my personality. You will to

 

I hope this helps.

[newbie1986]

That's for replying

 

We broke up yesterday. It feels so wrong to be throwing away what we had because I've not been with anyone else - there is so much more to a relationship right? Am I losing her just because of social pressures and norms?

 

I've been reading about other one-women men and they all sound so confident and relaxed. But I wonder, at any point did they have these these thoughts? They can't be supermen, can they?

[newbie1986]

Now if "it" is out then maybe you are ready to be with her...

 

I feel like I am ready to commit to be honest. I want to get all our plans back on track. But is it too soon after a break up to think this? (We broke up yesterday).

 

I hope it was actually just a fear of commitment than anything else ... but how do I know?

[sidney2718]

I feel like I am ready to commit to be honest. I want to get all our plans back on track. But is it too soon after a break up to think this? (We broke up yesterday).

 

I hope it was actually just a fear of commitment than anything else ... but how do I know?

 

How did she react to the breakup? Has she tried to contact you? This is a difficult situation. If you beg too much you come across as a man with a wet noodle as a spine. If you don't contact her she may be so hurt that she will never contact you.

 

Perhaps the best thing to do is to recognize that you have screwed up totally. That's done. There is no undoing it. You've got to move on from here. Perhaps you could send her some flowers with a simple note saying "Love" and your name. Perhaps that would be a mistake. You know the woman, we don't.

 

I feel your pain and wish you luck!

[newbie1986]

How did she react to the breakup? Has she tried to contact you?

 

She didn't react too well. She said all she an do is hope and that it is all in my hands now. She hasn't contacted me at all.

 

I just want to make sure when/if we get back together, I do it for the right reasons. I want to be doing this because I want to be with her and not because I feeling breakup blues.

 

I guess that's why I'm here talking and trying I figure things out ...

[Poppyolive]

Take some time to figure yourself out. If you rush back in and have doubys again it will destroy her more than she maybe hurting now. This is your issue, take this time for you. When you decide then act on it. Dont mess with her. Its best you leave her alone. Make a list of wonderful reasons to stay, devote, dedicate & commit and make a list of leaving her, staying broken up what is it you are missing, lacking? It will become clear if you allow it rather than freaking out.

[Isadora]

Take some time to figure yourself out. If you rush back in and have doubys again it will destroy her more than she maybe hurting now. This is your issue, take this time for you. When you decide then act on it. Dont mess with her. Its best you leave her alone. Make a list of wonderful reasons to stay, devote, dedicate & commit and make a list of leaving her, staying broken up what is it you are missing, lacking? It will become clear if you allow it rather than freaking out.

 

This is so true. Don't get back with her if you would eventually hurt her more. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me for the same reason, slept around then begged for me back. We were together again for 2 months and he cheated on me. Maybe he freaked out again. But it's hurt me more than anything. Make sure your decision is set before you hurt her more.