lvroflife Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 (edited) My girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me and in am so confused: The skinny: we had been off again and on again. Mostly because I wanted more and she wasn't ready. Meaning when we started dating within 3 months I wanted to be a couple she didn't. So we split for a month. She came back saying she missed me and wanted to date again. So we did. When I asked to be a couple again we began arguing again. We had a nasty fight to which she deleted me from everything. A few days go by and we talk and patch it up. During the talk I told her I did not like how she treats me with the push/pull. She finally came clean and said she was not ready because she was focused on work and not ready to be in a relationship and she still had some feelings for her ex. I then told her we need to slow down and she needs to work through those feelings before dealing with me. So I started dating others and she and took it slow. One night we got into another huge fight (alcohol induced).and we ended again. I thought for sure we were done. So I began to move on. 3 months go by and she starts texting me again. I this time ignored her text and didn't respond. Then she showed up to my house unannounced. I had another girl there. The other girl left, and she and I met and talked all night. This talk I told her I can not do this anymore and that I need to be left alone because she can not play with my heart like this. She said to me she had 3 months to think and process things and she could only think about me and how I treat her and she does not want to lose that and she would like us to focus on us. I told her she will have to prove this to me and I needed time to think about it. She started to make an effort. Then 3 months later she came to me and said "thank you for never giving up on me and I love you and want you to be my boyfriend". I was so happy and everything was smooth. We took trips and the whole 9. We still had our ups and downs. In October of 2013 she she got a promotion for work and had to move 500miles away. I threw her a surprise going away party with all her close friends there. I also bought us a trip to an island to celebrate. I then threw her a private one on one party where I changed my house into a bistro with rose petals on the floor. She loved it. A few other things I've done. Took her on her first trip to Canada, her first trip to an island. She has never had a surprise party thrown for her. I gave her countless firsts apple picking, circus just to name a few. And she said she has never been treated so well by any man, and she loves how I make her feel. She always said to me thank you for letting me be me and supporting my dreams and loving me for me, and she loves me (her actions supported and backed up her words). She has been there for me as well, supporting me at work, when I was in the hhospital, taking care of my dog, inviting me to all work events. Surprising me with gifts, and listening when I need a shoulder to lean on. In December (2013) she moved to her new location. We talked every night all night and still watch our favorite tv shows together via skype or on the phone. I sent her surprise things for her house and flowers. She sends me love notes. I went down to see her 3 weeks after she moved for 2 weeks spent Christmas and new years with her. We had a tiff while I was there. Now the core of our arguing she feels i may resent her later because she is driven by her career and not sure if she will want kids or ever get married. I have always supported her drive and never made mention of having kids anytime soon. I have mentioned to her that oneday I may want to get married (I grew up in a home where my parents have been married 48 years, and she grew up with an alcoholic mom who let her do whatever and her dad was never around). I only stated that I'd love to live together when she was ready. She said to me before her move she was looking at large apartments just in case I do move there. She does make statements such as "babe when we get married and have kids...." I went to visit her again 2 weeks later from (1/16-1/21/14)and we had a blast. I was set to go visit her again (2/13-2/18/14) for V day. Well two weeks ago she was at work and text me "baby i cant wait for you to come see me". That night she went out and was drinking, while out she was texting me smiley faces an d kiss faces, "I LOVE YOU" ETC.... she then called me and she was intoxicated and she was saying "baby I love you" "I miss you" "I can't wait to see you" "you should come see me now". I started to pack to go. While packing (while on the phone with her) she said she had been thinking about us today and she thought about how much i love her and how i always show her. She then said that she is trying to catch up to me with her love and she wants to love me equally the same. she flipped and started cussing me out. Then hung up on me. Called back crying and said she was done and she didn't want to do this anymore. The next day I didn't hear from her. So I sent a simple text to see what the hell was going on. She then Text me and said we need to talk. So I called. She was silent for 5 minutes when I said hello. I then spoke up and said it sounds like you want to end things but you won't say it. We talked for about 45 minutes. And I asked her do you want to end things? she said "no" I said do you want a relationship? she said "yes" I said do you want a relationship with me? she said "yes" I said well let's take it one day at a time,and by the end of the conversation she said I need time to think and I love you. So I hung up. The next day I hopped on a plane unannounced to see her and talk (I did this because during our conversation she said that the distance scared her and I told her the distance didn't mean anything and I can be there whenever she needed). When I arrived she was shocked and was not ready to talk. That night we cuddled all night and she held me tight, all night. I left the next day and gave her space, when I was leaving her apartment she still had all our pictures up and the letters I sent hanging on her chart. She then emails me 5 days later saying "when you came to my house unannounced 500miles away I realized I want to be in love with someone the way you are with me. I have been trying for 2 years to get those feelings and they have not come. I am thankful for you teaching me how to communicate and being patient with me. I don't want to do this but it is not easy to stay nor easy to leave". But its time to let go. Then she called me and was crying and saying that she is hurt, but she doesn't know what to do so she feels this is best. That was it.... Since the break up she has been on FB and Instagram daily but has not deleted me nor our pics. I am lost and in shock and confused please help. Edited February 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
crackerjax9 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Gosh, that was long. Try to keep it short as some people have ADD on this thing. Honestly, this relationship sounds very unhealthy. She seems like a headcase and bad news. She is also clearly very immature if she keeps blocking you on social media. I think you need to move on. Cut off contact with her.
Author lvroflife Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 I havent spoken to her in 2 weeks. And yes I know it was long I apologize for the length.
crackerjax9 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 good for you! thats great! Keep that NC going. I'm only on day 3
Author lvroflife Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 It is tough man! I love this girl this the first girl I ever envisioned spending my life with. I do want to try again but I need to clear my head and we need to have a loooooooonnnnngggg discussion, but I am fearful she won't come back or I wont hear from her again.. How long were you and your ex together?
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