bubblesbursted Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Its been 3.5 weeks and today by far has been the worst day of my life. Let me just start from the beginning. I had an interview today , didnt really go well, I dont know what has happened to me post break up. Usually I am the confident girl who usually never gets rejected. That was me before the break-up and now its just rejection. I know this isnt who I am but its just so confusing. Its discouraging. Not trying to brag , but pre break up I got almost all the jobs I went to interview for but I never joined and now second time I am getting rejected. Its just , depressing since I know I am not this person. I know I am not giving my best but I do try my best. Second, while returning from my horrible job interview. I saw none other than my EX! After 3.5 weeks with none other than his new arm candy. His back was towards me but I could see him and that new girl he was with. Holding hands, laughing,smiling , pecking etc and it made me feel sick. It was too much pain so I deboarded on the next station. While I went out and while the doors were closing , we had a brief eye contact and he gave me a cold look, like I was some stranger. And It just hurt so much because I loved that guy. I felt sick and just couldnt think straight. Came home in a daze. And found out my semester result was out. And that pretty much su*ked more since me and my ex used to spend the whole night studying together. I just cant. Its such a down. I feel like I am back to day 1 and it just hurts alot. I dont know why this has to be this way. I just cant take this out of head no matter how hard I try , I cant stop picturing my ex and this new girl together. I just cant take it..I dont even know what to do. I feel like I am loosing myself. plus I dont even think I can get a job. Everything is getting worse.
herself Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Im really SORRY. I hope time can help you heal. The new girl...she isn't YOU so even though he moved on and you will too...he can date 500 girls & never have another you. Please stay NC & dont wallow, keep focused on the job search & maybe change cities & start a whole new life. Good luck & chin up. 1
picnicinthepark Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Big hug for you bubble! I haven't had too much luck with my job hunt either. You and I will find the perfect job though I promise you! You need to take control of you emotions and set your eye on the task at hand. Use this opportunity to fuel your ambitions and start making short/long-term goals about where you want to take your career! I can't imagine how I would react in that situation but I think you handled it well. I think I would have just ignored my ex though. Regardless I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Our exes really are strangers its a cruel reality. But a rebound after less than a month? You deserve better and you will find someone who will love you unconditionally! For now work on being happy with yourself. Have you been taking care of yourself and your needs? There is nothing worse than your grades suffering due to personal reasons. Again, this is the time to focus on your studies and your future. Pick yourself up! I know you can do better! Join a study group or start one! Meet some new classmates, you never know what will happen. Maybe you'll make new friends and have some fun? I know you're in a bad place right now but you need to be optimistic. One day you'll be a graduate with a successful career and you will be strong and independent. We are young and we have our whole lives ahead of us. Keep your head up and look forward not back. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY! 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 Im really SORRY. I hope time can help you heal. The new girl...she isn't YOU so even though he moved on and you will too...he can date 500 girls & never have another you. Please stay NC & dont wallow, keep focused on the job search & maybe change cities & start a whole new life. Good luck & chin up. Thank you for your reply herself. And I know it just felt I was back to day 1 since I saw him after 3 weeks (he broke up with me on a text) and it just bought me back to day 1. I am not planning to break NC , I know Nc is the right way but it just hurt alot seeing them together. I am continuing my job search and trying my best to relocate.
SCJACK Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I know how you feel... lately, even last night I was thinking about her so much while sleeping and I miss her a lot.. I'm trying to keep myself occupied and focusing on my studies as well but it seems like I can not focus even if i'm trying my best... it must really hurt you a lot seeing your ex with someone else.. just try and stay strong and stay NC... few times I feel like breaking NC but I know it won't do any good.. it's a long journey ahead and it really sucks day by day... eventually we will get there.. Me and my ex only dated 2 months. I've known her for 3 years and been chasing her for about 2.5. It wasn't my fault for the breakup which makes it suck so much because I did almost everything right yet she left me. I kind of wish I did do something wrong so I could fix it and I have control over fixing it. But I did nothing wrong and there's nothing I can do to change her mind. Dating for only 2 months was not worth it to lose the entire friendship and have her be cold to me... it feels like a major loss. I care about her so much but she doesn't realize that I'm willing to do anything for her to make her happy but she doesn't want it.. she'd rather someone else... why can't she just give me a chance... what harm would it do? I know your ex is treating you cold but there's nothing else we can do now.. NC to heal... is really the only option left.. 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 Big hug for you bubble! I haven't had too much luck with my job hunt either. You and I will find the perfect job though I promise you! You need to take control of you emotions and set your eye on the task at hand. Use this opportunity to fuel your ambitions and start making short/long-term goals about where you want to take your career! I can't imagine how I would react in that situation but I think you handled it well. I think I would have just ignored my ex though. Regardless I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Our exes really are strangers its a cruel reality. But a rebound after less than a month? You deserve better and you will find someone who will love you unconditionally! For now work on being happy with yourself. Have you been taking care of yourself and your needs? There is nothing worse than your grades suffering due to personal reasons. Again, this is the time to focus on your studies and your future. Pick yourself up! I know you can do better! Join a study group or start one! Meet some new classmates, you never know what will happen. Maybe you'll make new friends and have some fun? I know you're in a bad place right now but you need to be optimistic. One day you'll be a graduate with a successful career and you will be strong and independent. We are young and we have our whole lives ahead of us. Keep your head up and look forward not back. EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY! Thank you for this picnicinthepark I just hope I find a new job soon enough to just take him out of my mind. I hope you find a perfect job soon! And well its not a rebound i dont know he moved on with her in a week or so but I saw it today so it pretty much set me back . Indeed exes are strange creatures. I am pretty sure I wont have done what he did to me if I was in his place. My grades were nice though but it just reminded me of him. Hugs to you!
Author bubblesbursted Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 I know how you feel... lately, even last night I was thinking about her so much while sleeping and I miss her a lot.. I'm trying to keep myself occupied and focusing on my studies as well but it seems like I can not focus even if i'm trying my best... it must really hurt you a lot seeing your ex with someone else.. just try and stay strong and stay NC... few times I feel like breaking NC but I know it won't do any good.. it's a long journey ahead and it really sucks day by day... eventually we will get there.. Me and my ex only dated 2 months. I've known her for 3 years and been chasing her for about 2.5. It wasn't my fault for the breakup which makes it suck so much because I did almost everything right yet she left me. I kind of wish I did do something wrong so I could fix it and I have control over fixing it. But I did nothing wrong and there's nothing I can do to change her mind. Dating for only 2 months was not worth it to lose the entire friendship and have her be cold to me... it feels like a major loss. I care about her so much but she doesn't realize that I'm willing to do anything for her to make her happy but she doesn't want it.. she'd rather someone else... why can't she just give me a chance... what harm would it do? I know your ex is treating you cold but there's nothing else we can do now.. NC to heal... is really the only option left.. I am really sorry about the way u feel I agree its really tough.. I have no plans to break NC, so shouldnt you! Yea it did suck but I dont know what to do. Its like someone stabbed me. bleh I hope you feel better. Hugs 1
mantlefan Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I miss day 1. Day 1 I was in shock. Day 15 or so was killer, same with day 20, day 26, day 33, day 41... This is hyperbole, but you see the pattern? The bad times keep having bigger gaps in between. It is 7 months later for me, and I still have a good cry every now and then. But it is shorter each time. It still hurts, but it is getting better. Maybe 20 years from now I will see something out of the blue that takes me back to a moment with her, and I will feel that pang. But my life is more mine every day, and if I am honest with myself I see it getting better. 1
rosedl Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 It isn't a total set back. Grieving a break up is NOT a linear process. You may start to feel better and then, BOOM, you get triggered and you feel the pain all over again. You are doing great keeping no contact. The reality of life is sometimes it is impossible to entirely avoid ever getting a glance of an ex or having to speak to deal with loose ends of closure (finances, living arrangements, whatnots). My ex lives three blocks from my house. Fortunately, on a side path, so I don't have to pass his house and it is an easy go around. I did go by one time to drop off a friend who lives on his road and he was out in the driveway. I started to get triggered but I thought to myself, you didn't even see his face. Who cares? Be patient with yourself. Keep doing what you are doing. We all go through down phases. It is a horrible economy and job market. There are so many qualified talented people competing for the same positions, sometimes hundreds. Don't take it personally. We live in really rough economic and competitive times. 1
Author bubblesbursted Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 I miss day 1. Day 1 I was in shock. Day 15 or so was killer, same with day 20, day 26, day 33, day 41... This is hyperbole, but you see the pattern? The bad times keep having bigger gaps in between. It is 7 months later for me, and I still have a good cry every now and then. But it is shorter each time. It still hurts, but it is getting better. Maybe 20 years from now I will see something out of the blue that takes me back to a moment with her, and I will feel that pang. But my life is more mine every day, and if I am honest with myself I see it getting better. It gets lesser and lesser with time. I see it. 7 months wow..I cant wait till I am at that stage. It isn't a total set back. Grieving a break up is NOT a linear process. You may start to feel better and then, BOOM, you get triggered and you feel the pain all over again. You are doing great keeping no contact. The reality of life is sometimes it is impossible to entirely avoid ever getting a glance of an ex or having to speak to deal with loose ends of closure (finances, living arrangements, whatnots). My ex lives three blocks from my house. Fortunately, on a side path, so I don't have to pass his house and it is an easy go around. I did go by one time to drop off a friend who lives on his road and he was out in the driveway. I started to get triggered but I thought to myself, you didn't even see his face. Who cares? Be patient with yourself. Keep doing what you are doing. We all go through down phases. It is a horrible economy and job market. There are so many qualified talented people competing for the same positions, sometimes hundreds. Don't take it personally. We live in really rough economic and competitive times. Yea I know the economy is rough but it was too discouraging and to make it worse I saw him with her which just made me feel worse. Yea it was a trigger a big one to say the least but it really was painful Sometimes if go to any places we used to go then its just more than anything I can take. Its like im an emotional wreck that time.
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