Sugarkane Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 When they dump out of the blue for no reason, GIGS etc. I get tired of dumpees taking the full blame for a dumpers wandering eyes, on a lot of threads. Why can't they think they didn't try enough, for once? 1
David87 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Because they didn't want to try at all in most cases. And you're right the dumpees shouldn't take all the blame. It's not fare. 1
Author Sugarkane Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 I would love to tell a Ahole dumper what I think of them.
amaysngrace Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 As a dumper, when I see him with her I have nothing but sympathy for that woman. 1
stillafool Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I think alot of dumpers are glad that the dumpee found someone else to love. It helps to relieve the guilt. 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I would love to tell a Ahole dumper what I think of them. I will say that just because someone dumps someone doesnt mean they are a bad person and/or an "Ahole." I've dumped someone before too....many of times actually. It wasnt because I'm a tool....it's because it just wasnt there for me anymore. Everyone has their reasons, and while some might be bad (cheated, wondering eyes, Gigs, etc), a lot of the time, it just isnt there anymore. 2
Mondmellonw Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 "Oh... He's got a new victim". lol, Jk. 2
iPhone Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 As a dumper, when I see him with her I have nothing but sympathy for that woman. Lolol I feel you on that. Except the dude who is "talking" with my ex is equally pathetic, so it's humorous all around. cheers 1
Author Sugarkane Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 I will say that just because someone dumps someone doesnt mean they are a bad person and/or an "Ahole." I've dumped someone before too....many of times actually. It wasnt because I'm a tool....it's because it just wasnt there for me anymore. Everyone has their reasons, and while some might be bad (cheated, wondering eyes, Gigs, etc), a lot of the time, it just isnt there anymore. As long time posters know, I'm talking about bad dumpers who think their shyte doesn't stink.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 As long time posters know, I'm talking about bad dumpers who think their shyte doesn't stink. As a long time poster, I know you have this.....hatred against people who dumps others lol. I've seen and commented on many of your threads and they seem to fall under the "dumpers are awful people and screw us" category. There have been many of threads started that you just seem angry haha. At some point man, you will have to let it go because it feels like you still havent after this past year. I feel as you are classifying most dumpers as cowards, heartless, and uncaring. I get the sense that you feel that way with almost everyone who dumps someone. To answer your original question, and as someone who has dumped someone before, if you see someone you use to date with someone else, most of the time you dont really think too much about it, especially if you have moved on fully (as most dumpers have anyways). I'm usually happy for them that they found happiness with someone else, but most ex's I've seen, we wernt together for a very long time so I guess it could be different for LTR. Even then, I don't think it will matter a lot what they think because it has been over and done with.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 As long time posters know, I'm talking about bad dumpers who think their shyte doesn't stink. I hope someday that you truly let all of this negative emotion go. You have a daughter now and you have a lot to look forward to. The clinging to the past will put you nowhere. Your post all center around those same aspects sugar. No matter the reasons why someone dumps you or the aftermath (in your case, restraining orders and what not), at some point, one has to move on. It's been quite a while for you, and it seems to be causing quite a ruckus with you. Keep moving forward. 1
changedlife Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I think it really depends on the person. I was dumped. But I was dumped due to myself cheating (I shouldn't be complaining right). We tried to make it work for a year or so after I cheated but it was really hard. While I kept attaching myself moreso to her and the relationship she kept withdrawing more and protecting herself more due to the amount of pain she went through knowing I cheated on her. She really tried hard to make it work. She was a good "dumper". Which has left me with feeling like I actually am the one who dumped myself due to my own actions in the past. I guess my story is a little different. I think she still has strong feelings for me so if she saw me with somebody else she would be hurt right now, but I think a few years down the road she would be happy for me. All I can say is that I have experienced first hand the real pain of cheating and I was the one who did it. I have a lot of guilt and shame over it, and realized the reason why I did it was due to me coping for a lot of feelings I never faced earlier in life. Anyway, sorry for the ramble there. I think a lot of truly good people that break up with somebody just realize one day that they may not be as compatible as they once thought they were and don't think they want to spend the rest of their life in that relationship.
OzHeartache Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Harsh but very true.....Happened to me, Makes it hard to get angry though, she did it for this reason and was completely honest with me .....doesn't make it any easier to swallow though I think a lot of truly good people that break up with somebody just realize one day that they may not be as compatible as they once thought they were and don't think they want to spend the rest of their life in that relationship.
Conners Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 I think it depends on the circumstances of the break-up. For example if you dumped your partner for being unfaithful and then you saw them move on with whoever they cheated on you with.. that would hurt! Me for example dumped my boyfriend even though I still loved him. I have noticed I have been replaced on his snap chat best friends number one with another girl I know he has been talking to. Doesn't necessarily mean anything but it still hurt me a bit to think he may be moving on. In most cases the dumper probably feels indifferent because they broke up with you because they simply didn't love you or feel the same way anymore. So why would they care if you are with someone else. 2
boblet Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 It depends on the dumper.. some may be happy for you, others probably don't care that much if they've already moved on. Based on my own experience, I'd say don't read into it too much. A year back I posted when my ex saw me on a date with another guy, he was on the table next to me. I spent a lot of time wondering about what he thought, turns out after talking to him a while back, he didn't care and seemed totally unaffected by it, while I spent so much time agonizing about his opinion and thinking it was karma getting back at him. So I won't waste a lot of time over-thinking it if I were you. The best thing to do is find yourself and do what makes you happy, regardless of what your ex would think
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