broken11 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Its been 10 weeks of BU and NC at all. I miss him so much. I guess I just miss him being around being with me. I miss hearing his voice and all the memories. He went and never looked back I guess. I just want 2 know why did he do that. Why did he just leave after 3 great years. Yes I disagreed to him doing something..one thing and he brakes up with me. I wonder what his thinking and if he ever thinks of us or even miss it. Any advice ? I feel so hurt and its been a while
Annie767 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 I know how you feel, I'm 12 weeks down line from break up (he finished me) at the end of a six month mood swing. He led me along and played games for a while. Now he's gone back to another ex that he called a pathological liar and a whore/psychopath. She is ten years older than me and has 3 kids by various men. He layed all the blame on me and I drove them together. He even went out of his way get the message to me they were considering trying for a baby (after 3 weeks)- she would get her sterilisation reversed. He made me wait 2 years before trying to conceive , we were meant to be trying for a baby now! We were together 4 years and had a great relationship 90 percent of the time. So I know how it feels to hurt and to be utterly confused by their behaviour. Guess for me the thing that's helped me most is making the time to take care of myself. Accept the grief for what it is, cry be angry! But then go back to filling that emotional hole he left by caring for yourself and finding new passions!! Hugs x 1
David87 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Its been 10 weeks of BU and NC at all. I miss him so much. I guess I just miss him being around being with me. I miss hearing his voice and all the memories. He went and never looked back I guess. I just want 2 know why did he do that. Why did he just leave after 3 great years. Yes I disagreed to him doing something..one thing and he brakes up with me. I wonder what his thinking and if he ever thinks of us or even miss it. Any advice ? I feel so hurt and its been a while The only advice that I can give you is " Go on and don't look back". Sometimes people fall out of love and want to see what else is out there. The worst part of your BU has passed, it gets easier , hang on sweetie. 1
Author broken11 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 Than you guys so much for the support. its mean a lot. i just hate this roller coster I'm in. one minute I'm so good and one I'm so bad. i just want this to be over already
lvroflife Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 The problem with people today is they base relationships off of the movies they see and the books they read! The truth is (as taught to me by my parents who have been married 48 years) when something is broke, you fix it!! My mom and dad taught me that when in a relationship you have to be ready to fall in and out of love over and over again. The best part is when you fall back in love it is like a new person you meet. They preached to me that it is not all rosy and there is always going to be doubt, but as long as there is an ounce of love there and you talk it works. The problem is "WE" don't talk, we hold it in and never say a word. How is your significant other suppose to know how you feel and want and need if you don't communicate. Yes you may give subtle signs, but speak up!! People need to realize that a relationship is a cycle of highs, lows, laughs, fears, tears, joy, and pain. I could go on but I'll end it here!! 2
Itspointless Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 They preached to me that it is not all rosy and there is always going to be doubt, but as long as there is an ounce of love there and you talk it works. The problem is "WE" don't talk, we hold it in and never say a word. How is your significant other suppose to know how you feel and want and need if you don't communicate. Yes you may give subtle signs, but speak up!! People need to realize that a relationship is a cycle of highs, lows, laughs, fears, tears, joy, and pain. I could go on but I'll end it here!! I realized this when in my adolescence one of my parents got a severe illness and eventually died. For me the vows of a marriage or being in love and being together are not only about the happy parts, but the willingness to help the other out of love; because you deeply care and share a history. This is why her avoidance and breaking with me because she got ill were so perplexing.
Nicki73562 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 You sound like me hun, I am new here. After about 3 years my bf and I broke up and it came out of nowhere but I was abused so it was for the best. It doesnt mean it still doesnt hurt because we did have good times but he just changed. Hang in there I dont know why things happen so quick
Nicki73562 Posted February 20, 2014 Posted February 20, 2014 I feel like you on a roller coaster I will support you if you need to talk.
Author broken11 Posted February 20, 2014 Author Posted February 20, 2014 I know all of you here are so hurting and I'm one as well but today i started to relies that after 10 weeks of brake up and no contact of any kind its really time to let go. i went through every step you guy are going through and i know there is a lot to still work on but I'm happy that i finally realised its really time to start looking forward to the future and to live each day as it comes 1-3 weeks of brake up the very first week i actually felt like I'm about to die. i couldn't eat, every time i saw food it made me feel so sick and i couldn't stop thinking about him. i couldn't sleep or do anything but i had one thing in mind is that if he loved me enough he would contact me and that he is the one that broke up with me therefor i should never contact him first. Anyway i was taking sleeping tablet for 3 weeks because i didn't know how to sleep but it then started to be a habit until my mom came in and took them away and made sure i never take then again. which now i thank her so much for. i missed him like crazy these first 3 weeks and i couldn't stop checking my phone if he called or not. what hurt me the most is that when it got to week 2 of the brake up he deleted me off his Fb and deleted all our pictures and even my comments on his wall and cover pages and that made me feel like i was nothing to him, which led me to cry all week 3. but it started to get better and worse 4-6 i had this though in mind that he cared but at the same time he didn't. my head was playing so much it drove me crazy but my health started to get better as i got into really goo eating habits and also went to gym and got a personal trainer that is helping me through all of this. i really can't express to you guys how much exercise took off my mind and helped me. i started to go out with friends and i started to also feel so numb. i had no feeling towards anyone. no love no hate no happiness nothing i was like a brick wall. but i still had hope of me and him getting back together and being happy like we used to. i prayed to god every night to bring us back together or for god to help me and i was so lost. i also went though the roller coster art where I'm down one day and the second I'm extremely happy. i actually thought I was going insane. but people on LS said this was so normal and it helped me. so thank you all of you. 6-10 still going through the roller coster but it got easer and i started to relies how badly i was treated and started to see all the red flags that i never saw when i was in a relationship. i released I'm still young (20) and that i can do so much with my life. i also knew if we stayed together it wouldn't last long because we are really different people and from then i went through the denial stage. saying that he was perfect. it was all my fault.. if we get back together i will be a better gf, yada yada yada. But today i realised that all i did was just siting me back. now I'm looking forward for the future and yes without him. i wanna live for today to have a better tomorrow and i have uni starting soon and I'm so excited. i now made sure i never read his star sign again or look at his fb page ( even though i can't see anything). i just want to work on me and be happy again. I'm finally not feeling numb and i can smile and laugh just like i used to. I'm losing weight i have 2-3 friends that i hang out with and I'm being my self again. i know one thing now is that i wish him all the best and i hope he is happy but this is it we are done forever and ever. P.s Take your time to be happy and remember its their loss. If its meant to be it will be and if not then its not. Everything does happen for a reason just be paciante Hugss xxx
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