everlast86 Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Hello, I am new to this forum. I need advice and hope I will receive some. So... I am 27 years old. I have been in a relationship for over a year now. We have been argueing a lot recently and some other issues removed part of the charm of the relationship, so i no longer view this relationship with pink glasses. He hurt me several times, and i hurt him too. I am still considering if we get the best of it.Unfortunately, I have OCD, I am always doubting and indecisive. Soon I will be starting some alternative treatment but that is another issue. A few months ago I met a guy 11 years older than me. He asked for my facebook and we started texting. I have shared some personal issues, he gave me good advice. My brother plays to me superior and sometimes disrespects me. This guy witnessed this happening once. We argued several times. He said our arguments are due to some difficulties in my family and myself. He said he does not respect me, because i do not respect myself, that i am clingy and need lots of attention. While he has not shared anything personal. He have asked me out for several times but I was busy and turned down his offers. . He always says that I am very beautiful, when I asked him how many girls he has said this to, he said he does not say it regularly.He once hugged me too.He told me searches for the special woman in his life.I have lots of fun with him (the way i never had with my BF). We talked yesterday in skype....and the conversation got a little bit about underwear and so on....and when i asked him, to how many girls he talks this way he said about 5-6 girls...then i said i would like to keep my dignity and i do not want to keep this relationship going on....then he asked me several times how and what i felt, but i told him i will not tell him. Then I told him that i will watch a film, he asked what's the film name ....then after some time i told him i go to bed, he seemed disappointed and wanted to know what has happened. Today he signed in skype but does not write to me. Can u give me some advice and how should i proceed? Should i write him or wait for him to write to me again?
PegNosePete Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 You're asking for advice on what exactly? How to continue your current emotional affair with this guy? How to save your relationship with your BF? How to get rid of this new guy? I don't get it. What is your objective here?
Author everlast86 Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 I suppose I am asking all those 3 questions, because lots of feelings now. It is the first time this happens to me. I have never felt so happy, free and fine, like i do when i am with the one that is 38 years old. At the same time I am not sure he has anything serious about me. He is nice and always says I am very beautiful. He talks to me about personal issues and gives me mature advices, but i suppose i lost some mystery that way and respect too. Concerning my BF ....may be I am afraid to be alone and he is very good to me now. Sometimes I think the best idea is to be all alone by myself and treat my OCD and then get into a relationship.
PegNosePete Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 OK, well currently you are cheating on your boyfriend. This is called an emotional affair. You need to decide which of these guys you want to be with. We can't tell you that. It is not fair on either of them carry on the current situation. If you want to stay with your boyfriend then you need to cut all ties with this new guy. You cannot remain "friends" with him. Your entire relationship with this new guy is totally inappropriate. If you want to be with the new guy then you need to end it with your boyfriend ASAP.
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