pickflicker Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 This is your first, last, and ultimate mistake. NEVER become friends with a woman - if you're never a friend, you can't ever get "stuck" in the "friend zone." There are two types of models who frequent FB, in my experience - actual halfway professional types, who are on there to network, advertise their services, solicit modeling gigs, and gather followers, NOT to meet people or make friends. The most you'll get from this type is an invite to some event or other where she might be working as a promo (booth) girl, which is simply aimed at getting you to come out and make her/the venue look good, NOT at starting any kind of a friendship (or anything else) with you. The second type is a 25 yr old Goth stripper with a kid, tons of tattoos, and possibly a (failed) side gig as a financial dominatrix. This type is trying to do the same kind of thing as the other - network, promote herself, etc. - but is not nearly professional enough in her presentation, and it shows. Her pics will be selfies taken at work with her cell phone before mounting the pole, or possibly bathroom/getting ready shots. Do I even have to tell you why you should avoid this one? What tosh. There is no such thing as the "friend zone" there's just lack of attraction. 1
pickflicker Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Skuds you make perfect sense, I'll ignore her from now on. How the hell did I get in the friends zone...... hate it. Dude, get a grip. She doesn't want you as much as you want her. There is no "friend zone". If you're serious about sending a message that you are not ok with the way she is treating you, stop talking to her. Otherwise, you're just as much of a drama queen as she is. 1
carhill Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 What tosh. There is no such thing as the "friend zone" there's just lack of attraction. In absolute terms, yes. In reality, people can and do deceive and manipulate and 'fake' attraction to achieve whatever goals they want for themselves. As the OP gains more life experience, he'll be more able to discern ersatz interest/attraction from genuine interest/attraction. Additionally, he's still of an age where he's mesmerized by physical beauty and this clouds his perception of words and actions. BTDT been BS'd by the best of them. The most proficient? MW's. They're awesome. 1
pickflicker Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 In absolute terms, yes. In reality, people can and do deceive and manipulate and 'fake' attraction to achieve whatever goals they want for themselves. As the OP gains more life experience, he'll be more able to discern ersatz interest/attraction from genuine interest/attraction. Additionally, he's still of an age where he's mesmerized by physical beauty and this clouds his perception of words and actions. BTDT been BS'd by the best of them. The most proficient? MW's. They're awesome. But faking attraction to manipulate people is not putting someone in the supposed "friend zone". People use "friend zone" because they believe this person is attracted to them, but is fighting it. That's rubbish. If you're attracted to someone, little can stop you, even if it's an impending train wreck. That's why affairs happen. 1
Author David87 Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 What the hell..... I don't have feeling for this girl ok...second of all i might socre... one night stand etc. and third it doesn't even boter me that much if she just consider me her firend. I can have a platonic relationship with her it doesn't bother me that much now that I realise that. She has very low self esteem now because everyone is against her, all my ''friend'' sayd why are you hitting on that girl?? she is a slut(that's not true) I was the only one who stood by her side and lifted her spirit, because she is going through hell right now
hasaquestion Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 But faking attraction to manipulate people is not putting someone in the supposed "friend zone". People use "friend zone" because they believe this person is attracted to them, but is fighting it. That's rubbish. If you're attracted to someone, little can stop you, even if it's an impending train wreck. That's why affairs happen. Yeah the Friend zone definitely is a real thing. Friend zone = people who exist who I don't want to bone and whisper in their ear. Aka most people. Why do we need a buzz word for that anyway.
Author David87 Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 This is your first, last, and ultimate mistake. NEVER become friends with a woman - if you're never a friend, you can't ever get "stuck" in the "friend zone." There are two types of models who frequent FB, in my experience - actual halfway professional types, who are on there to network, advertise their services, solicit modeling gigs, and gather followers, NOT to meet people or make friends. The most you'll get from this type is an invite to some event or other where she might be working as a promo (booth) girl, which is simply aimed at getting you to come out and make her/the venue look good, NOT at starting any kind of a friendship (or anything else) with you. The second type is a 25 yr old Goth stripper with a kid, tons of tattoos, and possibly a (failed) side gig as a financial dominatrix. This type is trying to do the same kind of thing as the other - network, promote herself, etc. - but is not nearly professional enough in her presentation, and it shows. Her pics will be selfies taken at work with her cell phone before mounting the pole, or possibly bathroom/getting ready shots. Do I even have to tell you why you should avoid this one? I didn't try being her friend ok.... I hit on her the very first time we talked on fb and on our first date .... it was mutual she likes me to, read the entire thread.
Author David87 Posted February 17, 2014 Author Posted February 17, 2014 This is hilarious. I'm trying to think of what the male equivalent would be... Ps. Why is everyone so impressed with a "model"..? Makes me think I'm in 7th grade again. Sure looks and attraction are important.. But really? Someone whose entire career centers around the way they look? Chances are other aspects of them will be neglected and underdeveloped. And I'm not saying that as an unattractive woman at all. I get it. But I don't know why it's a point of pride. I'd rather have someone that could be a male underwear model but chose to be a basic scientist researcher or civil engineer or something. Not that all models fit this stereotype but I'm just not entirely sure why "model" is the male interest equivalent of "doctor" for women (and don't even get me started on that...) I'm not trying to marry this girl.......
pickflicker Posted February 17, 2014 Posted February 17, 2014 Slight correction needed, as denying the friend zone exists is a little false. OP is a living breathing example of having a zip code in the Friend Zone; girl wants nothing sexual to do with a guy, but intentionally leads them to believe they could or already do view them in that manner to keep said sucker interested and doing whatever it is she finds so appealing. Women are more emotionally attracted beings, it stands to reason they enjoy emotional attraction from others even if they don't want the physical. That happens. It just does. To attempt to say that series of events doesn't exist, aka "there is no friend zone", is simply untrue. However, there are men who have screwed with the term so it seem to encompass any man that happens to be platonic friends with females, or some guy that asks a chick on a date and she says "no" and goes out with some other guy, and he goes off and cries into his internet that so-and-such feminist bitchface put him in the friendzone, so it's definitely past time to start treating all females like the full-sized fleshlights that they are. So I kind of get where you're coming from. It's a misnomer. You don't treat 'friends' like this. She's just manipulating him for the contact high. Nothing 'friendly' about it. You can be platonic friends with someone for forever and then the relationship shifts into something sexual. It happens all the time. The idea that if you're platonic friends with a person will mean that you'll never be sexual with them is utter bullsh*t. OP, you wanted my advice, I've given it to you. Stop dicking around with childish games. 1
OhThatGirl Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 If I get an ab transplant from Brad Pitt and my brain exchanged with Stephen Hawking, I'll be sure to bump this thread and let everyone know. Don't bother. Just PM me.
carhill Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 But faking attraction to manipulate people is not putting someone in the supposed "friend zone". People use "friend zone" because they believe this person is attracted to them, but is fighting it. That's rubbish. If you're attracted to someone, little can stop you, even if it's an impending train wreck. That's why affairs happen. Sure it is. That's why I assert there is no real 'friend zone' as there is nothing friendly at all about manipulating people. Some people do call it the 'friend zone' because that's how they see it, erroneously. There's no doubt, during the 20 or so years of anecdotes which make up the basis of my opinion, that I felt like a friend, for awhile anyway. It was an erroneous (false) feeling, created by manipulation, along with my own ignorance, at least in the early years anyway. So, OP, what have you learned from this experience? If faced with the apparent interest of another 'model' in your future, how will you proceed? What I learned, from dozens of experiences such as the one you outlined, was to trust, but verify. Words are carbon dioxide, though they can form a pleasant odor if uttered by an object pleasing to the eye. Those are what they are, just appearances; sensory stimulation. The 'meat' and value come with time and verification. Show me the beef.
Author David87 Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 Carhill I sould have Ignored her since friday whae she mentioned her ex boyfriend. She just used me for emotional support. It was so rude of her , doesn't she have girlfriends to talk to ..... anyway on to the next. ( she still texts me btw)
carhill Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Something to watch for, on a positive note..... when you receive contacts, watch for them being about you, asking about specifics, making mention of aspects of your life that someone who shows a modicum of authentic care, like any real 'friend', would if you were on their mind, not merely as a warm body to pass time with. Another aspect to clarify and work on feeling in an authentic manner is discerning the difference between someone 'liking' (loving) you and someone letting you 'like' (love) them. That can be tricky, especially with someone skilled at manipulation, and many people are. People known as 'takers' are generally highly skilled, as their personality depends on efficient taking from others; 'letting' others give to them. It's all part of getting to know, at any level of interest. IMO, I'd just block her number with my provider and move on. Zero things out. 1
Author David87 Posted February 18, 2014 Author Posted February 18, 2014 Today she asked me how my date was last night, I didn't respond. What I leraned(for the new users who might read this) Avoid women who just got out of a relationship.(best case scenario you get revenge sex) Don't judge women by how good they look. When you get in the friend zone it means you mest up and you should run away as fast as you can.
StanMusial Posted February 18, 2014 Posted February 18, 2014 Today she asked me how my date was last night, I didn't respond. What I leraned(for the new users who might read this) Avoid women who just got out of a relationship.(best case scenario you get revenge sex) Don't judge women by how good they look. When you get in the friend zone it means you mest up and you should run away as fast as you can. LOL. Nice job. B+.
Author David87 Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 A lot has happened since then, but this girl still texts me, calls me likes my every post on FB. Two weeks ago I went clubbing with two of my friends, we pick up 3 beautiful girls and spend the night with them etc( took lots of pictures, put them on FB ) . The next day we invite them over at a friend's house for a party , they were the only girls there.All of my friend's jump all over them even though they have girls of their own. They got drunk and spend the night with my friends, I got mad and decide to go home, the girls saw that and they asked me if I could take them home to. I did..... A week later we meet again in the club, and again I spend the night with just one, a gorgeous blonde. We had a nice time and the next day I asked her out on a date she accepted. This happened on 9 march. During this time the model that I've managed be friend zoned with got jealous I think. So now the conversations I have with her are all about me or our future relationship. We made plans to go out when she comes home next month. She gives me compliments every day and I do the same. Don't have big expectations but it seems that we get along very well. I don't feel that it's right to ignore her again as i'm sure that you guys will suggest I do.
Author David87 Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Yep I know, drama is my middle name... This is so weird, but I just can delete her from my life. It doesn't feel right to cut people of like this. Maybe I'm weak.
Haydn Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Well despite all your troubles David you have no problem picking up women, don`t be so hard on yourself. 1
Author David87 Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Well despite all your troubles David you have no problem picking up women, don`t be so hard on yourself. Tnx Haydn, in fact i'm a little ashamed that you had to read the messy situations I've gotten myself into. All I want is to find a girl to love and start a relationship with, but all I got is drunk sex and a one night stands.
pickflicker Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Yep I know, drama is my middle name... This is so weird, but I just can delete her from my life. It doesn't feel right to cut people of like this. Maybe I'm weak. Well, posting pictures of your awesome night out is going to elicit jealousy and attention from her, if that's the kind of person you are. Don't court jealousy, it's toxic. You're attempting to get a rise out of her, right? That's what the whole "plaster my night all over FB" was about? Tnx Haydn, in fact i'm a little ashamed that you had to read the messy situations I've gotten myself into. All I want is to find a girl to love and start a relationship with, but all I got is drunk sex and a one night stands. But are you surprised? If you want the real thing, this drama has got to go. No quality woman will stick around and let a bloke play her off against other women. 1
Author David87 Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Well, posting pictures of your awesome night out is going to elicit jealousy and attention from her, if that's the kind of person you are. Don't court jealousy, it's toxic. You're attempting to get a rise out of her, right? That's what the whole "plaster my night all over FB" was about? The pictures were made by a professional photographer and posted on the official page of the club and the my friend tagged me. That's how they got on my fb page. I'm not desperate to get attention, I'm that kind of guy who flies under the radar most of the times. But are you surprised? If you want the real thing, this drama has got to go. No quality woman will stick around and let a bloke play her off against other women. Well lot's of quality women are interested in me but the problem is I don't like them :(It has to be a spark to get my attention. The spark was with the model, my ex from the other thread and with the engaged one. I guess that I have to lay low for awhile
pickflicker Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 Well, posting pictures of your awesome night out is going to elicit jealousy and attention from her, if that's the kind of person you are. Don't court jealousy, it's toxic. You're attempting to get a rise out of her, right? That's what the whole "plaster my night all over FB" was about? The pictures were made by a professional photographer and posted on the official page of the club and the my friend tagged me. That's how they got on my fb page. I'm not desperate to get attention, I'm that kind of guy who flies under the radar most of the times. But are you surprised? If you want the real thing, this drama has got to go. No quality woman will stick around and let a bloke play her off against other women. Well lot's of quality women are interested in me but the problem is I don't like them :(It has to be a spark to get my attention. The spark was with the model, my ex from the other thread and with the engaged one. I guess that I have to lay low for awhile Ok, fair enough. With regard to laying low, it's not necessarily that, it's that you just have to make better choices. For example, getting wasted is unlikely to be conducive to forming a lasting relationship. It might sometimes, but generally, getting trashed is only going to end one way. And that's great - if that's what you want. Otherwise, if you're after something more long-term, coherence is a good idea! Is the alcohol perhaps interfering with your ability to deduce the actual spark? 2
Author David87 Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 Ok, fair enough. With regard to laying low, it's not necessarily that, it's that you just have to make better choices. For example, getting wasted is unlikely to be conducive to forming a lasting relationship. It might sometimes, but generally, getting trashed is only going to end one way. And that's great - if that's what you want. Otherwise, if you're after something more long-term, coherence is a good idea! Is the alcohol perhaps interfering with your ability to deduce the actual spark? Well no the alcohol isn't a problem because when I talk to them I'm sober and I can tell from the very beginning of I like her or not. I'm not an alcoholic or something. The problem is that I get the spark with the wrong woman, i don't know why. The only good one since my break up back in december( I wish I still had my girl who I still care about ) was with my ex but I screw that up big time.( by messing around with her best friend ) Only time will tell if I ever find a girl to love and to settle down with. I'm the kind of guy who wants a family,kids and the whole package. When I'm in a serious relationship I dont cheat on my girl.
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